Sunday, November 18, 2007

big love



taking a break from the food diary. i ate great today. i have more important things to say.


the decision to leave Bend was hard for me because i was very comfortable, with my home, my neighborhood, my routine, and most importantly my community. but when i made the big leap and found the right house, i took no time looking to find the right community in portland. i got on Mothering.com discussion boards and found the Portland tribe--a very active thread of PDX moms that was "on the same page"--these ladies knew where to buy organic, who the best naturopaths were, who could lay Marmoleum, and where you could nurse a toddler without getting the stink eye. And they were funny, and humble, and really supportive of each other. Somebody had a bad day and three others would offer to drop off dinner (somebody had a baby, and there would be 20 meals lined up), someone would be in labor and attempting a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesearean) and candles would light up all over pdx, or a mama would have an argument with their partner or have a "bad parenting day" and the empathy would pour out across the internet. it was no wonder i got hooked so fast. but there were so many mamas and so many daily posts it was at first pretty overwhelming.

with Breana is was love at first PM (private message)--she was a mama with 2 kids and one baby almost there, and when i mentioned we may have to move to portland and find a temporary living situation while our house got finished, she suggested we move into the other half of her duplex that she owned--and we could have a little Mothering Commune! it didn't work out that way, but suddenly i noticed her a lot more on the thread--she was sooo sweet and positive, never missed a beat with reply to others, offering up so much genuine empathy, and best of all she ALWAYS laughed at my jokes *throb.* we quickly developed a online repoire and friendship, that was so obvious to us and everyone else. as soon as we moved to Portland, it wasn't three days before i went over to her house to do laundry. we had just as much a connection in person as online...she asks lots of questions, and laughs a lot and like she has said to me before we both spend time listening to each other. we moved here in april and now it's november. people that meet us think we've been friends for years--if they don't think we're sisters! the online mothers call us "the lovahs" and since Blake is my "B" and Breana begins with a B, i have no dubbed them my "He-B" and "She-B." we text, we call, we chat on the thread, we chat privately, we instant message, we blog about each other, and we see each other numerous times a week. when the neighbor across the street said he was selling his house, i called Breana and said "do you want to live across the street??" they are buying the house this spring. i've NEVER known someone that is so easy to know.

one night Blake was out of town with Mayan, and Isadore and I had a suprise birthday party to attend with Breana and her family. it was at a hotel where the men would stay in the room and and watch the kids while the women went out to dinner--Rich, Breana's husband was in charge of watching Isadore since Blake was not with us. one of the dads, Jamie, had never met any of the mdc moms yet and his wife Rebekah had explained "well, they are pretty alternative..." (meaning tattoos and non-mainstream parenting, i suppose.) but what Jaime saw that night was Rich and Breana and me and our gaggle of children and thought we were really alternative--that night he said to Rebekah on the way home "wow, so they are, like, BOTH with Rich..." and Rebekah couldn't waited to spill the hilarious misunderstanding to us. somehow the term "Rich's Bitches" was coined and it has been on ongoing joke...more solidified by the fact that most of the times we go out or get our photo taken it IS the group of us (Blake stays home for many social functions and Rich is usually there to help Breana wrangle her two small children) or Blake is the one with the camera. we really do seem like one polyamorous family! for example:

*photo taken by Blake

there is me as "second wife" handling the older children while they wear the younger ones. we all fans of the show Big Love--so it was so appropriate that tonight my She-B gifted me with a very cool, to-be-treasured forever book of our adventures together so far called "Big Love." She got together every photo of us (with some help from He-B) and made it in the iPhoto program (just like the cookbooks you made, Naomi)--there are pages dedicated to just us, to Blake, to the kids and finally the last page is each of our families beside our houses (our current home and their home-to-be.) every time i look through it (probably five times already since i got it tonight) i get a big, stupid grin on my face. i love it.

my She-B organized a dinner party for me tonight at my favorite sushi restaurant down the road, the Takahashi, to help celebrate my 27th birthday a little early. Let me say, while i don't think that "27" is a particularly special number, the ladies that came tonight MADE it special. Seriously, how did i ever doubt that i would find such coolness in a new place? These Mamas are the coolest! My cheeks hurt from the laughter and they all have such adorable uniqueness, it just makes me feel all warm and incredibly grateful to know them all. Thank you Breana, Amy, Korin, Joi, Danielle, Rebekah, and Savannah--for not just your sweet gifts but really for your stories, your smiles, and your company.

7 comments:

bred said...

oh my god... i love you!! I love reading you re-tell our "story". ;) i am SO glad that you found such wonderful community here, and i'm even more glad (is that selfish???) that you found ME. have i told you how much i can't wait to live across the street???????.... xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Summer said...

I've tagged you for a noblopomo meme!

Bill & Savannah said...

WEll, I am not Breana, but I love you too! Glad you had fun; you were glowingly lovely!

Korin said...

Yay! Happy happy happy! I'm also super glad you moved to p-town and joined our community!

angstmonkey said...

I am so glad that we became friends....... still feel like the darker side to your and breana's coin. I will miss you guys when we are gone :(

elliesmadre said...

I'm so glad that you are one of the people I got to hang with and get to know in Portland. And thank you for including me in your birthday celebration. I miss you and Breana too, but you guys will need to visit soon. :)

sara said...

Could this get any sweeter?!?!