Thursday, May 29, 2008

shout out to auntie NaNa

Check out Flesh and Bones: Tales of a nurse and chef's wife--my sister's blog, which she recently updated with pics from her visit a few weeks ago...also, if you are into it, scroll back and she often does posts of exciting ER nurse stories!

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

For George-Ephraim's First Moon


you were not real to me

until i reached down and felt

the sopping curls exit me

and i spilled your body onto our sheets

the fruit of my undamaged womb

the crying proof of my reproductive wholeness

...and to hear the words on my husband’s lips!

to see the tears dance in his eyes

“a boy!”

adding roundness to our circle, our tribe
a male, a son, our fruitful earth worker
the unmistakable face of a third George

(the first born in 1907 and again in 1941)

the hair that first introduced us

now dried to the sparkling delicious locks of your father

pink lemonade “Lou” lips
fat of my milk on your skin...

these first moons with you

studying your pages: written of my own flesh

the impermanence of it all

tears tenderly at my heart

and while my own newborn-ness is reflected
in your soft, unfocused gaze
my mother-knowledge (taught to me by your sisters)

allows me to answer your lusty calls
with a calmness that comes only from experience

i have been broken in for you

--for George-Ephraim’s first moon

Sunday, May 25, 2008

another week in pics

false alarm on the early summer thing! now its rainy it was much cooler this week. got our first thunderstorm since we moved here last night though, and that was a treat...

we had some stress/excitement this week. i ran into a great old friend at new seasons who i hadn't seen/spoken too in years--i was in the parking lot slinging George and i called her name.....and she turned around and had a newborn in her arms! she came over this week to visit and her mom, who is awesome, came along too. we had a great time catching up and hearing each others birth stories...but before they left her mom mentioned that i should have george-e's heart listened too...sometimes his limbs get purple, its kind of freaky. i spent the next day looking for a pediatrician and luck led me to the perfect fit for us--dr. pritchard and her nurse practitioner sue (who once specialized in pediatric cardiology of all things), gave up their lunch break to see us the next day. he looked and sounded great to them, but just to be super-sure she recommened we see the ped cardiologst at OHSU's dornbecher children's hospital--they fit us in right away and we had a good experience there. everyone swooned over mr. handsome and after an EKG they deemed him absolutely perfect. i wish i would have gotten a picture actually, of him getting the EKG, 'cause he sure looked cute with his wool soaker pants with the stickers all over his chest.

the same day all of this was going down, blake had his own excitement--he got to visit the basement of the Portland Art Museum and go through the archives of undisplayed artifacts. like a kid in a candy store! him and their newest assistant curator are gearing up to do an overhaul of the current exhibit. pieces from the Nomad collection will finally get some glory in a big museum...its all very exciting and blake SO deserves this.

so back to the week in pics, in chronological order:

our fabulous midwives--beth, marilyn, and melissa, at our 3 week check-up.

do you see the happy in his eyes?? blake in the basement at PAM

mayan holding george-e

such a sweet face

he sure is filling out! look at those "breastmilk cheeks"

mayan made this cute paper collar for Humper

baby bling! papa made baby G his first piece of jewelry for his first moon celebration

ooooh, psychadelic newborn.....

Sunday, May 18, 2008

one hot week in pdx

breaking records this week in portland with temps in the 90's. what happened to having a spring? last week i was protecting my garden from hail and freezing temps, this week we were scrambling for shorts and sunblock. here is this week in pictures:

best of all, Naomi was here visiting from LA...the last day she was here we visited the Japanese Gardens in Washington Park:

later, we introduce George to Nomad:

(one of the girls took this, i am not sure which one....)

after all the sweatin', poor George-Ephraim had a heat rash so i figured out a way to bathe him comfortably without him crying....he seemed comfy on his towel in a huge metal bowl, and sister Isadore helped, too. he sure is chunking up fast:

Saturday was the children's fair at Leach Botanical Gardens down the street, always a treat, and this time Breana and crew got to join us:

it was seriously HOT on Saturday afternoon, so i let the girls run through the there anything more GREAT for a kid than sprinklers on a hot day??:

today, we went to a birthday party for our friend Kieran....what a cute bunch of kids!:

Mama and Papa and George from Isa-view:

fianlly some random faces of George-Ephraim. first, a silly sleepy grin:

then, bored:
mr. sweaty:
and the pucker-face "huh?" look that i love so dearly:

it is supposed to cool off again this week so we'll have a break. i have a check-up with the midwives on tuesday--i am sure baby G is 10 pounds already! love to all....

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

how do i slow time?

these first few weeks have been absolutely wonderful.....we are adjusting beautifully to being a family of five. blake contines to be a huge help and since i took it so easy the first two weeks, i am feeling very refreshed and healed and ready to get back to semi-normal routine--which is already pretty laid-back.

George and and George. what can i say...we love each other. last week i was sitting my rocking chair with tears welling in my eyes, so full of love and thinking "does he love me as much as i love him??" but its clear.....the feeling is mutual. it seems even my smell comforts him. he is a very mild-mannered baby up to this point. i think all temperments of babies are "good' and should be respected (i think the question "is he a good baby?" is ludacris.....some babies are high-need and others are less high-need but one is not more "good" than the other.) but George has surprised me. the way he acted in the womb worried me: very responsive and seemingly rambunctious--i thought FOR SURE he was going to give Mayan run for her money. but i think i mistook the "responsiveness" for high energy. when infact he is so-far very responsive just to me. he doesn't fuss much, but when he does get upset, its like zero to 60 in no time flat--just quiet to suddenly crazy wailing. but all i have to do is pick him up and he immediately soothes. he tolerates others holding him for a little bit, but will get fussy and again, quiets immediately when i take him. none of my other babies were ever this responsive to my presence/touch. i can easily put him to sleep with some strokes on the head or just being snuggled in my arms. the girls needed so much more work! Mayan demanded boob almost constantly and would cry bloody murder if you took the nipple out of her mouth or put her down even in a deep sleep. Isadore was easier to put down and would fall asleep on her own early on, but still was a mystery in the evenings during what many families call "happy hour"--that 2 hour evening period of unconsolable crying that had no explanation. knock on wood, George is just really chill and we are very connected, i feel, much deeper and sooner than i felt with the girls. i mean, i was IN LOVE with the girls as newborns and could not stop gazing at them....maybe my memory fades, but it feel so deep with my new boy.

is that because he is "my boy"? i always thought that i would have boys since i had so many male friends growing up, so when i was very surprised when i had both girls.

my other theory is that maybe i'm more relaxed with this child because it is my third...i've got the newborn and parenting thing down (yeah, right!) but my less-anxious state is transferred to the baby. they can sense these things, i am sure... i just don't get all in a twizzle when he starts to cry lustily in the back seat while i'm driving, at least not like i did with #1.

the last theory, though, that came to me was from a comment my mom made when she was visiting last week. she said he looked so alert and then said "because he was never on any drugs!" and it struck me slowly that, it's true, this is the first baby i had that not only was drug-free at birth, but i have had NO separation from since birth--no interuptions even! is it possible that Georges mellow nature and our record-deep connection stems from the fact that we finally achieved a natural, non-evasive birth and were able to foster the newborn-mama connection exactly the way nature intended?

i'll never really KNOW, and it could of course be a combination of things like most things are...but i wonder and feel deeply that this birth was the purest and most significant event in my life thus far....and its hard to imagine anything topping it! and here he is, the result of this wondrous event, my baby boy, with clear bright eyes, silky beautiful hair, pouty mouth, and darling expressions, who gazes lovingly at me for a good part of my hard to NOT want time to stop. i am soaking it up the best i can..soaking, soaking, soaking......

my mom with baby G

George says to the paparazzi "no more pictures, please!"

i've perfected the newborn high-back carry with makes housework and cooking possible!

Sunday, May 4, 2008

one week of baby george

i am pretty sure he looks a lot like i did as a baby.
bonding with MG

a snuggle in the papa pit

body shot. i call these "muppet legs."

who is to say it's just gas?

how i got some house work done.

i can't go very long with a hold-and-gaze. oh, mr. kissable!

i found this self-portrait of isadore to be stunning!

oh, yes, he also cries.

i've officially fallen very hard for mr. george-ephraim. tragically hard. oh, dear, my heart simultaneously aches and sings for him. is it strange to sometimes want to stuff him back into me where not harm can come to him? i went to make salad dressing while he slept and i missed him. oh, how i love my little boy!!

Thursday, May 1, 2008

for the birth lovers

i started a whole new blog for the birth story since it is complete with pictures and all the lovely details. those who want to read it can go here:

milk and ink: the birth

have fun!