Milk and Ink: From the Lap of Mama Nomad...

SEATTLE MARCH 6 & 7, 2011

2011-03-09T22:32:00.000-08:00

dashboard buddies! created by mayan...enjoyed by mama

must visit alert: gas works park. rusty industrial curiousity, shiny green park with dr. seuss-like hill for kite flying and the most amazing view of the city over a glittering lake.

B, a sailboat, and the space needle. love this shot. don't let go of that stroller!

only took three tries to get the needle behind me!

more awesome picture opportunities

next up Sushi...another excellent review from our family to yours at Chiso on fremont. we made it there with five minute of happy hour left and ordered our hungry-'cause-we-just-walked-5-miles little hearts out

this was supposed to be a shot of me having my first bite of unagi in over four years. the photographer had other ideas. good thing he bought me dinner.

after sound sleep in our little rental apartment, we got ready for a day jammed packed with seattle-y goodness!

getting into zoo mode, blake said this is a picture of "the mama in her natural habitat"...the mama nomad is never seen without her coffee and iPhone within reach...you will often hear her call out "almost ready, just let me look this one thing up!"....notice the messy bun, sign that she has gotten her three offspring ready but has neglected her own hair....

woodland park zoo rules.

just say "Roar!"

scoping the savannah

when is the last time YOU saw a giraffe eat breakfast?

blake was impressed with my safari chic look. i swear i didn't plan it. really!!

jungle-rific

i can tell this is the african elephant and not the asain because of the larger ears, used for fanning in hot climates. this fact was brought to you by my smartypants husband.

i must smooch those lips!

my boys!

how many shots like this do we have??

mayan on a lion

issy...on a lion. doesn't rhyme but sure is cute!

i guess asking him to be a lion didn't make for a flattering shot.

komoto dragons are cool....

but these kids are cooler!

can't resist a carousel ride. high five to me for not barfing!

this was our first road trip without the suburban. its was crowded but got the job done thanks to the third row seat.

my favorite place to visit: Theo chocolate factory. look how happy we all are! we are high on chocolate. wheeeeeeee!

taking our chocolate high to the docks.

i had an unexpected emotional experience looking at the boats. i miss our boat!! fell in love with this Dana 24....the flicka's bigger cousin.

the fun don't stop, no siree! The Experience Music Project and Science Fiction Museum.

this took three times, too. we had a little picnic in under the needle before heading inside.

cute shot!

this building blows my mind every time!!

its hard not to be artsy in a city like this...photo by blake

so many guitars!

we were here specifically to see the battlestar galatica exhibit...check out this model!

cylons are bad.

so check this: on the music side, they had this thing called sound lab. you could have a soundproof room to yourself for ten minutes, and all the instruments are ready to go. just close the door, press the button, and start rocking out! we busted a three piece band. george was our lyricist and named the song "poop diarrhea lollipop." isadore was our photographer/audience.

mr. blake on drums.

back for more BSG

no, like, REALLY?? how did they pull this off? it's incredible.

time to take these trekkies home....until next time....live long and prosper!

George ramblings as dictated to Mayan

2011-02-04T19:09:00.000-08:00

I left Mayan in the car to keep an eye on George while I ran into a store. I handed her a piece of paper and pen and asked her to write down everything Geroge said while I was gone, to keep her busy. This is what she wrote:

*My, Myn=Mayan
*Fairy school=this is what Geo calls his daycare
*Moog=what I call MG, pronounced Moo-j

My*, say what to make. My, make a picture of Gaga. Can I see Lady Gaga? Huh? Build a Alejandro Miss Meatball! I eat a muffin. Huh? Myn, I want to eat a muffin.........(silence for a few minutes).....I like I Dada make it here in time to make the muffins. Gaaaaaaaaaagoooooooo. Helmet to fairy school*. (in song) Grey squirrel, shake your bushy tail....Myn? Are Hot Wheels poopoo doodie?...........(more pause)....Myn, what's that sound? Myn, can you get my muffin out Mom's purse? I WANT A MUFFIN, Moog*, I want Mama. Get please a juice box out box?

I wish I could scan this, Mayan did an amazing job transcribing and it sounds exactly like Geo would talk! We laughed SO HARD when she read it back to me!

i highly recommend dating your spouse.

2010-11-28T15:19:00.000-08:00

for many people, when you have kids the most pressing role you play is "mama" and "papa." there is a tendency to forget that once-upon-a-time you might have been "girlfriend" or "boyfriend," then "newlywed" or what-have-you. sometimes you forget what its like to be a couple, as opposed to a couple of parents. for a sustainable marriage, this spells disaster.

at one point early this year, blake and i hit the hard realization that we don't really know how to just be "the two of us." we used to date? really?? that was soooooo long ago. its not like we NEVER go on dates, its just that it is so infrequently that every time we are out it feels....weird. so we made a pact to get to know each other all over again, outside of the role of mom/dad. and let me tell you, it is NICE. more than nice, it's downright HOT.

i highly recommend dating your spouse. we realized that we DO have things in common, which was a surprise because parenting can be so difficult at times that all you see is where you disagree. this can lead to "we are SO different...." which can lead to "who the crap is this person??" and that is, as i said, disaster.

sure, we ARE very different people, with very different personalities. but when we come together over something casually-mutual like good food, or a favorite band we can see how we actually compliment each other--in a more relaxed way, outside of our normal home environment. at a restaurant, we choose different plates and sample each others food, and talk about what we like and don't like. at a concert, i like to dance and drink while we watch a band, Blake likes to hold my coat, and keep me safe from drunk dudes, and drive me home while we talk over the play list on the drive. we laugh together and come up with little "had to be there" inside jokes to share later....we make memories. when we are on our date we are "blake and leah", or "that cute couple" who might be newlyweds or together for a decade, or who may or may not have three flooping children at home.

this weekend was the ultimate date: overnight in Seattle to see the man that binds us, Mr. Nick Cave. our first time away overnight since having George. i was worried i'd put too much expectation into this adventure, that because i wanted it to be so relaxing and so magical and so fun that i'd jinx it and we'd fight or i'd somehow be disappointed. apparently though, in my 20's, what was once my ability to "jinx" things, has now become an ability to manifest...hooray for my 30's!

relaxing, magical, and fun: it was all of those things. our hotel was classy and quiet with a vintage feel (for cheap), we were 4 blocks from a fantastic restaurant that we got into on a Saturday with no reservation or wait, sat at the counter and watched the chefs work their craft, and opened our eyes together to the glory of the charcuterie plate; plus our show was only 2 blocks away and the band, Grinderman, KILLED--we had so much fun there and then stayed up late in our hotel room talking about it....among other things....:) in the morning we walked toward Pike Place Market (only 6 blocks) and found a great, quiet breakfast place serving fresh crab and avocado eggs benedict while we read the newspaper. after we checked out, we explored the (free!) Olympic Sculpture Park on the waterfront and finally, when we felt satisfied in our exploration of the city, we headed home, with hot coffee and happy souls.

i am already looking forward to our next date.....

ready for our big night out...look how excited we are!

i had to be tourist on the way to our dinner...it's my honey and the space needle!

post-dinner and ready to rock!

here be the said "rockin'"

we both agreed it was the best we've seen Nick...having this new, straight-up rock-and-roll project has given him new life...and the venue (King Cat) was small so we really got to enjoy the band up close

okay, i'll be honest i only vaguely remember this photo being taken....

the morning after: enjoying a stroll in downtown before the crowds

we still thought of our precious kiddos now and again...

our crab-and-avocado eggs benedict totally hit the spot!

our hotel was called the Warwick and we had a Juliet balcony

you may not see it, but i see the look of a relaxed and happy husband!

@Seattle Art Museum's sculpture park

here i am glaring at blake because he just belched loudly while taking my picture...just because we are on a date doesn't mean he doesn't get "the look"!

hey LOOK, it's that cute couple, Blake and Leah!

how weaning happens

2010-09-29T16:08:00.001-07:00

...or at least how it happens with us. even more specifically, with george and me.

i cried last night. a good, hard, had-to-take-off-my-glasses cry. without complete intention, i have just weaned my last baby from the breast. (and i am 99% sure i am done having babies.) only another nursing mother can fully understand what it feels like to nurse your baby for the last time. plus, in this case i didn't know the last time was "the last time." so, now i have this little grief dancing inside my heart, that i know will settle but hurts all the same. i thought this post might help.

i did the math: i have been suckling babies for 6 of the past 8 years, with one period of rest in between. it will feel weird to not have that connection. i've said it a hundred times: nursing, if anything, is a relationship, not just a food source.

mayan nursed like a champ from the minutes she was born, and nursing her into toddlerhood not only seemed like the way SHE was going to have it, but it was important to me, as well, since she had so many food allergies and it took her a while to establish a food-diet that could nourish her. with her, nursing was a valuable tool. to calm her down when she was freaking out, and also to shush her when i needed to talk on the phone. :)

i decided not to cut this relationship short when i became pregnant with isadore. while the milk supply dwindled, she was not deterred. life was going to change dramatically for her when her new sibling arrived, and i didn't need to give her another reason to resent the new baby, by taking away her precious "boobah."

this turned out to be a good decision, when at 35 weeks isadore was induced early. while she was in the NICU and not able to nurse at the breast for her first 10 days, mayan became my "portable breast pump." i'd saved up more milk than isadore would ever be able to drink, but to keep up supply i was instructed to pump every three hours ("just like if you had a nursing newborn..." they said.) mayan went from being able to have a casual conversation with me at the breast to watering eyes and choking trying to keep up with the new flow.

once isadore was able to nurse she latched on like a pro as well, and was so efficient at getting milk from me even as a tiny 4 1/2 pound baby, that she would suck a few times, establish the flow and then lay back a let it ease down her throat with little to no effort. this completely unvalidated the formula the nurses had laid out for me: "about one cc per one minute of sucking." we had to weigh her to verify that in fact, just 10 minutes of weak, sleepy sucking she ingested 45 cc's of milk--a full feeding. we were released for home the next day.

after a few months, just as i had hoped, mayan got the picture that nursing was for "little babies", and gracefully bowed out, at age 2 1/2.

isadore was a mellow child, and a great sleeper so the nursing relationship was not as intense as it was for me and mayan. she had already lost interest at 2 years--slowly tapering off from day feeding so that the go-to-sleep sessions were the last to go--so that's when i had my first break. it was a bitter sweet transition, but deep inside i knew i'd get to have that experience one more time.

enter george-ephraim, 2 years later. his birth was everything i'd dreamed, and was healing and empowering in so many ways. i was a nursing professional now and it took no effort to establish that bond. eat, burp, sleep, eat burp, sleep...constant cycle that i practically did with one hand while i took care of everyone else with the other.

gives a whole new meaning to the word 'buffet'!

on vacation in seattle 2008

previous blog readers and other nursing mothers may know, this is called "NAKing"--nursing at keyboard

george "gettin' some" in the backseat of the car--milk that is

the difference with george, is that i didn't want to use nursing as a calming or quieting tool, but instead just for eating and just for sleeping. so once he grew into a walking, pointing, babbling, food-snacking toddler, i just never sent the message that it was something we did while we were out and about. this made the sleeping feedings oh-so-special. more than special....absolutely divine. we have a white chair in our bedroom that for the last year is where i sat nearly everyday, once in the afternoon and once at night, for george to have his "me-me." this is the word he made up at a few months old, to describe more than just the nursing but the act of me swaddling him in a specific blanket (the "me-me blanket"), binding it with a scarf and then latching on to the breast. (he eventually at age TWO was okay with not being "bound"--the boy LIKES to be restrained! don't get me started thinking about how this will play out as an adult......)

swaddled in the white chair, with his kitty halo, for our daily nap ritual. the image i will carry sweetly within my mind's eye until the day i die.

this routine, like with my other children, became so ingrained that sleeping any other way (besides in the car) became a non-choice. i have always trusted the process and knew from experience that my child would not be a nursing grad-student as many have joked, but that nursing would taper off in the time that was right for our family, around 2 1/2 years.

well, here we are.

i am preparing for a trip to L.A. in november for my 30th birthday, and am leaving the family behind. i know it would be best to have an established bedtime routine for george that doesn't require my breasts, so blake can have an easy time with having all three kids. george already has a bed in his own room so the biggest trick was getting him out of the "white chair" for that moment he drifts off. a few weeks ago, i started to nurse him until he was almost asleep and then i'd pass him to blake, who would carry him to bed with his own whispered papa-words and beardy kisses. this met with little to no resistance. then i began to skip all naps so that when bed time came, george would be very, very sleepy. a few nights ago, on a whim, i told him he could touch and kiss the "me-me" but not nurse it. this met with medium resistance. i let him nurse for 10 seconds then asked for it back, and he obliged, with a look that showed me he thought he'd just gotten away with something delightfully forbidden. then i passed him to dad in his favorite blanket, who had a sippy-cup of warm milk. blake tucked him in, and george got up and wandered in to our room a few times. we alternated tuck-ins until one stuck. i discovered if i stay, and pet his forehead like i did when he was a baby, and sing him a lullaby while his eyes get heavy, he won't get out of bed at all.

today, he seemed like he needed a nap, and i was SO temped after my tearful realization last night to just nurse him one last time. but i knew that we'd already crossed the line into successful weaning, it would only complicate matters to backtrack, so i took him upstairs with some milk and we lay in his bed together. i was doubtful it would work in broad daylight.

george (eyes twinkling with the remembrance of the new routine): "mama, touch me-me?"
me: "sure, you can touch the me-me."
i reached to pull my dress down just a bit for access.
george (every word sounding like a question): "mama? take? bra? off?"
me: "no, buddy, i am not going to take my bra off."

his hand settled into a spot, halfway down into my bra. i hand him his cup of milk. i lay my head down on his pillow and close my eyes, to send the we-are-napping message. the all-symphony station played in the background. he set his cup aside and stared off at the ceiling. i peeked periodically to see the status his eyelids. it took about 4 minutes. i slipped his hand out of my bra, ever so slowly and crept away. then i came down here to write this.

it really is over. on to the next phase.

a peek into summer 2010

2010-07-26T17:47:00.000-07:00

as far as i see it, even though summer really just got started, its already halfway over. here, family and friends, is what we've been doing with our time.

bikes (or scooters) on the street-- a daily affair

issy made him a bed in the hall, and he really used it!

my garden. really only going at 50% capacity this year. better than nothing, right?

our first time riding bikes with the public! sunday parkways is awesome!! google it if you don't know about this pdx event...

a visit from auntie naomi and uncle noah. short but sweet!! this is us at the farmer's market at OHSU

when you buy a bunch of live shrimp to cook on the bbq, the least you can do is save one and dress it up in a paper towel and electrical tape tuxedo, right??

the birthday girl requested swimming for her day so that is what she got.

making the world's best gluten-free, corn-free chocolate cake for sister EVAH!!!

karaoke at voicebox lounge was awesome!!!

could be singing george michael...or lady gaga...or no doubt...or the beatles...

we love auntie na-na!!

never under estimate an afternoon chillin' in the backyard.

a sigg bottle to reflect all personalties:

downtown adventure: waiting for the street car

downtown adventure: on the streetcar after a trip to finnegan's. these kids know the importance of staying hydrated on a 90 degree day!

downtown adventure: jamison fountains....ah, smell the chemically-treated water in the air!

what could August bring?? i'll try my best to blog it for you:)

a craft to do TODAY!

2010-06-25T11:52:00.000-07:00

mayan likes to go thrift shopping with her grandma, and the other day she came home with a cute book on easy recipes and crafts for kids. this one in particular was SO easy and cute (and useful...i only like useful crafts) i had to share:

take a pair of old jeans (stained and worn our knees is great!) either the size your child wears or a little bigger, then simply cut across so you remove the legs and crotch, about three inches below the back pocket. then cut up the sides to the waistband and remove the front parts of the jeans including the zipper, making sure the waistband and button stays intact. what you are left with is a craft apron or tool belt....looks like this:

its FREE, it takes two minutes, and your kids can decorate them to their hearts content....

mayan's big recital!

2010-05-22T19:56:00.000-07:00

i was so nervous for her! this is mayan's third recital and she has been playing piano now for over a year. this particular piece is called Colorful Sonatina, a three part piece : Sunshine Yellow, Dreamy Sky Blue, and Happy Red. she's has been working on it for months, and at first i was surprised at the complexity of the piece, but now i see that her teacher knew that she could pull it off by recital time. she seems to really connect with the mood of each piece, and her teacher commented that she mayan also really connect with playing the large concert piano. you go, sweet girl!

now that we have family here, we took full advantage. grandma, grandpa, chemynne, avia, and even our friends zack and emily (who blake plays music with and mayan crafts with regularly) all came to see her perform. i noticed something too, at this recital, which was mayan has a really fantastic attitude about it all. she was so pumped this morning, aware of her nervousness but more excited than anything. she has the biggest smile on her face before and after the performance, and was on a high from it all for the rest of the day.

so for those who could not be there, without further ado:

(while the other kids were over it, Mayan was still proudly beaming at the front of the stage)

(the Mayan fan club)

The family (sans the hard-working Papa--at least he got to be there to hear her play though)

George-Ephraim Turns Two

2010-04-27T17:44:00.000-07:00

George-Ephraim, or Geo, or Georgie Boy, or Vubbie, or The Vubs as he is usually called.....
was born in the wee hours of the morning on April 27th two years ago today,
directly above my head where I type this,
a smooshie-lipped, curly-headed boy
a boy who brings joy
so much joy and love,
more than I could ever imagine one little boy bringing to a family,
yet his joy spreads much farther,
as he offers this joy to everyone he passes,
rosy-red cheeks glowing with delight,
smiles spread like ripples on the mouths of those in his presence...
oh, little boy, thank you for your joy!

Things to know about George, The Two Year Old:

Favorite food: hummus, just straight up with a spoon. the more garlic the better.

Favorite song: Changes by David Bowie

STILL likes to be swaddled to fall asleep. He has a special blanket for this--his "Mi-Mi" blanket which is a fleece Nightmare Before Christmas blanket.

A day is not a day without walking to the mailbox with Papa.

He never fails to say sorry ("Waaah-reee") or thank you (Day Do!") when the occasion arises. In fact he gets irritated if he thanks me for dinner and I don't say "You're welcome."

He loves shoes. Prefers them to bare feet. Walks on his toes if his feet are bare so they won't touch the floor.

If I were to use one word to describe George it would be: delight (he is both delighted at everything around him and delightful to be around.)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY GEORGIE BOY!!!!!!

still (kind-of) feeling the clean...

2010-04-21T19:49:00.001-07:00

the spring cleaning "party" is meant to be done over two weeks, monday through friday each week, so you have the weekend off to do what you normally do. i am busy fridays but not saturdays, so i decluttered the first four days (mon-thurs), took friday off, did the second part of the kitchen on saturday (with my moms help), and took sunday off. monday, i happened to be out-of-town, which was "bathroom day" anyway, and had i already decluttered them: the downstairs was recently cleaned because we got a new shelving unit, the children's bathroom (barely used, they like ours of course!) was swept through the first day of decluttering, and our master bathroom a week ago, because george is now agile enough to open doors and get up on the tub and riffle through all of our stuff, including a box of hair dye. my first time calling poison control! he had been upstairs in the early evening and i had called him down at dinner, so three hours after he'd been up there i discovered a bottle of color developer half gone. did he drink it?? there seemed to be a cloudy substance in the toilet so i figured he squeezed it in there...but i called to be safe. the nice lady at 1-800-222-1222 said he would have gotten sick already...i sighed relief and promptly threw out tons of old bathroom crap and blake rehung the cabinet higher.

after that on-and-off schedule, tuesday i had to get back into it. i decided to move up the master bedroom in line and leave the kids' room for later. i'd cleaned a house that morning and was tired--i like to keep my bedroom tidy so i knew it would not be a difficult task. i love our bedroom, we spent a lot of time making it to our liking during my pregnancy with George, and it is decidedly a "grown-up" space, sexy and modern. i sorted through my clothes which was kind of depressing, as apparently i wear too much black, and anything that i have that doesn't fit and at one time cost a lot of money, is so worn-out its barely worth donating. my wardrobe is lacking desperately but even if i had the money to buy new stuff, i would hate to buy it at this size since i would like NOT to be this size anymore (that's another post!)

today, brought the first wave of the kids' rooms and it was highly successful, even though, to be honest, i am petering out. either i lost my momentum during the choppy weekend or it just gets hard after the first week to stay motivated. but there was a lot to trash and that always feels good. ended up with two bags of trash, one bag of recycling, and two boxes for donation. there are even some empty toy bins now!! i was hoping to transfer all of the kids' dress-up clothes to bigger more accommodating tubs, so took a break to go to target where i'd bought them before, but they are not in season yet. while i didn't think to take before picture i do have a nice shot of the finished toy shelves and the pile that came from it:

george's birthday is next week, and i am excited about making his room more for a little boy--we are going to change his big mattress to a toddler bed, i took some toy storage boxes from the girls rooms and put them in his, and decluttered his closet. a friend gave me a wooden castle this week and i would like to find a train table for him to set it up on.

tomorrow is day two of the kids rooms but really i just need to sweep and mop and wipe down the shelves, which is good considering i work in the morning as well. one thing i never did get too, if i can fit it in, is the drawers and spice cabinet in the kitchen. i think saturday will be my day to wrap up any loose ends--the schedule says the last day is for the entry and hallway but i did those already last week. if i can get blake to hang our new curtains on sunday, our house will look like a million bucks!

sure, its a lot of work, but i can see how having less and being more organized is helping me save time in my life and keeps me feeling more "on-top" of things, which for me equals more peace. i keep reminding myself that next year won't be so hard......

feel the clean

2010-04-15T13:03:00.000-07:00

the past six months, i've been on a steady incline to.....something. its hard to put into words, but its a combination of personal revelation, a feeling of balance, a clarification of purpose, and a real increase in the feeling of peace and an invitation to more joy in my life. lots of things have led me here: my part-time work, my women's workshop, establishing a yoga practice again, and the exciting realization that I will be 30 this year which makes me feel ripe for change. i think i've made a real effort to make room for growth as well.

so in the spirit of this, i decided to jump on the spring cleaning party bandwagon, led by the simple mom blog. i'd heard about it last year, but didn't feel like i could pull it off, and secretly promised myself that i would do it next year. next year is here...and it seems like the perfect time to take on this project which involves decluttering, cleaning, and organizing your ENTIRE HOME. no wonder its freaked me out so much last year, right? i've had time to warm up to the idea this time around, and as i waded in realized that having less STUFF, means more time to spent doing other things like playing with my kids. i realized that i spend way more time keeping our large home tidy than i'd like. its constant work that is usually undone as soon as it is finished, even with the whole family doing their part--time spent keeping all those piles of stuff in their tidy little piles, and then digging through those piles to find what you need and re-tidying again.....ridiculous! not to mention our home is very large (over 3000 sqft), with three full bathrooms and ...gulp....6 bedrooms. let me be the first to say that bigger is not always better! when i'd declutter in the past, really all i was doing was taking the clutter from one area and hiding it somewhere else (like my sewing room--eek!!) so taking the time to just tackle each room one-by-one using the declutter, cleaning, and organize process once a year in one concentrated blow makes so much sense!

here's the plan of action:

The Plan

...and here is the mantra:
“Have nothing in your home that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful.”

On day one, I went through our house and looked at all the surfaces like our bookshelf, dresser, sideboard, desk, and countertops with a garbage bag and empty box in hand. they both filled up fast...and some items I immediately returned to a better place...like lots of photos and books that were floating around for some reason or another--and later i went through the box and quickly decided what was donation and what needed to find a proper place in our home. it happened to be housecleaning day anyway, so after i was done the house already looked incredible! and the best part is that it has STAYED that way, because there is less to pick up. and the whole family seems to be in awe of the state of things so THEY are being more careful too. i have heard blake say more than once to the kids,"let's clean up so we don't ruin all of Mama's hard work..."

Day two was living room: part one, and this was easy because we don't spend a ton of time in that room like most families do. since a-frames have slanted walls, you can't fill it with traditional furniture, only low pieces, and since we have a toddler who gets into stuff if its low, the room is not a clutter-magnet. but we do have one very special two-sided art deco book shelf which houses books, puzzles, cd's, the phone on one side, and mayan's special "fort" on the other (mayan's middle name is "clutter-bug" ;)..plus some plants on top. i spent a good hour getting rid of trashed or no longer needed books, same with the cd's (who really needs those anymore anyways??) and made the top look beautiful instead of a convenient place to set your useless odds and ends. i also sorted through the two coat-and-bag bins we keep by the front door.

since i had spare time, i also, without even planning to, found myself in the art closet which was TRASHED!!! every scrap of paper and kid drawing, paper towel tubes, broken crayons, gift wrapping supplies, and yarns bits were all jumbled together in complete disarray...i ended up with four huge containers of recyclable material, and two trashbags of garbage. and if that wasn't enough, next thing i knew i was up in the hallway sorting through the hall closet and putting the old hats and gloves i'd taken fromt he bins downstairs and finding a place for them until they are needed again next winter. there were already three bags of clothing i'd managed to purge from my closet a years ago, thinking that somehow i could make some money selling them (though buffalo exchange ended up rejecting them, i stubbornly kept them there.) i had such momentum built up at this point that i didn't even care--out, out, out! along with a giant box of unneccessary cables and nails mixed up with precious old letters and photos, every item there had to pass a test: garbage, donate, or keep. by the end of day two i was getting to be addicted to this process.

Day three is supposed to be living room: part two, but i didn't need to spend more time there sorting. instead i cleaned the areas now exposed and the areas that are hard to reach. i got out my 20-foot-pole duster for the beams (for those that don't know we have a glass roof with exposed beams) to terminate all the spider-webs, old and new. then i vacuumed under the couch and bookshelf...then i had the rest of the day off.

today i am very excited to do the one room that i never really thing of as needed to be decluttered: the kitchen. when i think clutter i think paper and toys and clothes. but food and kitchen utensils pile up, too, so first i am going to hit the pantry and see how far i get. i also would like to get rid of all of my mismatched dishes and buy some new fiesta ware to round out our collection--they seem to hold up much better to family-life than ikea pieces (bug surprise!)

wish me luck! i want to keep up the momentum, and not fizzle out. i know the end result will be SO worth it..and i'm almost halfway there. during the course of my "living on purpose" group, i have more clarity on why i need my surrounding to be beautiful, and accepting how important it is to my well-being that my home feel clean and looks aethetically pleasing. turns out that it may not neccessarily be that a clean, organized home equals a happier mama, but instead a happier mama equals a more clean, organized home--a place to be joyful!

sweet and sour awesome

2010-02-17T17:16:00.000-08:00

hello, lonely blog, would you feel better if i put a recipe in your tummy?

by request, and by my own excitement, i give you a sweet and sour chicken dish that is allergy-friendly (well, depending on your allergy because some of you all are super-freaks.) chinese takeout, once filled a hole in my soul, right up there with tator tot cassarole on the comfort food scale, but when soy became my nemesis, obviously EVERYTHING on that menu was OUT. so i spent some time, learning to make fried rice and beef with broccoli at home since it was something we could all eat. recently, mayan added eggs back into her diet with great success, and now more windows are opening up for us. i decided that a true crispy, sticky sweet and sour chcken was in order, since the nourishing traditions recipe didn't not possess that take-out quality that i so desire. this may not qualify as health food, but i made it as healthy as possible.

so it is gluten-free, soy-free, corn-free, dairy-free, and nightshade-free. check it:

2-4 chicken breasts, cut into 1-inch chunks
1-2 eggs
1/2 cup rice flour (i used brown but whilte might be finer, if gluten is not an issue just use wheat!)
1/2 tapioca flour
2 teaspoons salt
1 teaspooon garlic powder
black pepper

-add the flours, salt, garlic powder, and pepper to a large ziploc bag, and mix--set aside. beat the egg or eggs in a pie dish, then add the chicken chunks to coat. pick out the chicken pieces and throw into the flour mixture. seal up bag with a little air, and shake, baby, shake! make sure all of the pieces are well coated with flour.

-heat 1/2 inch of oil for frying (whatever you like: peanut, canola are my faves) and fry until the pieces are golden brown and cooked through, turning if you need to. (if the heat is med-high, the chicken will absorb less oil.) remove from oil and place on paper towels. keep warm until ready to serve.

while the pieces are frying, take a small saucepan and add:

(this should make enough for 2-3 chicken breasts, but double it if you are using 4)
3 TB apple cider or white wine vinegar
1 teaspoon sea salt
6 TB Rapadura (whole cane sugar--Rapunzel brand makes this) or mixture of brown and white sugar
1 TB tapioca flour
1/2 cup of water
1 1/2 TB oil of choice

-bring to a boil and stir until thick, about 5 minutes. the Rapadura gives it a nice dark color.

finally transfer your golden crispy chicken pieces to a platter and pour the sweet and sour sauce over, toss if you'd like or don't leaving some areas more saucy than others, so family members can choose how much they want. you can also keep a little extra sauce on the table for those that like it really saucy.

optional: sprinkle chopped green onions over the dish for a little crunch and presentation. serve over steamed or fried rice. also a GREAT time to make LUMPIAS, since you have the hot oil and dipping sauce already done:D

all done!

2010-01-26T13:29:00.000-08:00

second and final session for my right arm is done. i am so happy with it!

it was very cool being able to post from the chair with my beloved iPhone

Everyone say hi to James ("hi, James!") he was nice enough to play me videos again on his iPod (the Asylum Street Spankers this time) and a really cute kids album that i wills soon purchase and burn for everyone i know. thought is was amusing that some one who doesn't have little kids knew every line, not to mention the whole shop was rocking to the kids tunes...its called 'Mom Says No!'

anyway, notice the FUN position i had my arm in...eek.

ah, so fresh!

next day, all washed up. the flower is, of course, fully healed.

loving the Isis wings...and her jewelry and gown. all of the shading will soften when healed.

the detail on the wings turned out beautifully!

Hooray!!!!!! I can honestly say that at this moment in time I do not have any ideas or plans for more ink....but it would be nice to have something for George eventually. For now I am satisfied...;)

goodies from the days in bend

2010-01-25T11:01:00.000-08:00

recently, michael took all of my old pictures and videos from my laptop hard drive and put them on the new computer....basically our lives from 2005 to 2007--pre-blogging days for me--flashed before my eyes, many memories i had forgotten.

cooking thanksgiving sister with my sister

my favorite picture of blake ever, taken on our 5th anniversary

adorable family picture in vancouver BC, october 2006

memorable sail on waldo lake on the catalina 22

this might be my fondest memory i have of the time before we decided to move: an epically beautiful fall day i drove out to DD Ranch in Terrebonne with my girls, drinking a delicious chai on the way, to spend the afternoon picnicing, wandering through the pumpkin patch, and taking a hayride. (this was taken by myself on the ride)

at one point my sister had imported all of her videos and pictures from our visits onto my computer, and some went back before we even owned a digital camera. having these little snipettes of little mayan and isadore are priceless!!

mayan is about three here and isadore one-ish.

four and two i think...mayan is pretending to be blake! hilarious...

georgie gets a haircut

2010-01-02T16:54:00.000-08:00

i have no clue how to handle curls. george's tight blond ringlets are turning into ratty, messy dreads, and it takes a lot of work to condition and brush them out every few days. i decided to take him to our regular stylist (rebecca at DO! rad cuts and color on SE 39th) and try my best to keep him still while she did her thing. honestly i didn't have to do anything, he gripped a teething biscuit and was so fascinated by the salon happenings around him that he sat still for 1/2 hour giving rebecca time to obsess on each lock. she told me how she never gets to spend much time on kids hair b/c they are wiggly, but georgie sat like a little man. and the best part is that the hair doesn't look much shorter, its still bouncy ringlets but there is less length so that means less tangles. i love my baby boy!

(ps all photos taken on my super awesome iPhone!!)

holiday....celebrate....holiday...celebrate

2009-12-28T10:59:00.000-08:00

(name that song!)

we've been grabbing the reigns of more than one holiday for a few years, and i think we have it down now: we love the food and beauty of Chanukkah, the meaning and reverence of Winter Solstice, and the tradition and excitement of Christmas. it has made for a wonderful last few weeks, strengthening our family ties, given us room to create together, and maybe added a few pounds as well:) here is our 2009 holiday in pictures:

1st night of Hanukkah, b lights the first candles

using family recipes, we ate both potato and sweet potato latkes (with applesauce and sour cream of course), stuffed cabbage, and israeli-style orange chicken.

a little dreidel action

first time wearing a yarmulke..and he ate about 10 sweet potato latkes

loving the beauty of candle light

Solstice night came and after our sweet, private family ritual (you can read more about it here) we opened some gifts for mind and body, to get us through the rest of the cold winter days: clothing and books. here the kids pour over their new books sent by uncle payson and aunt kamla and other thrift store finds:

calendars from grand-p and cookie!

a family photo (george must be a cat b/c i could not fix his eyes on iPhoto!)

christmas eve baking: my cinnamon rolls rose!!

ooey-gooey goodness!

making snowflakes and stars to hang up

and while the girls and i craft.....

papa makes dinner!

our new christmas eve tradition: blake's ramen. soooooo good, and we used one of the chickens we slaughtered for the broth and meat--we felt very connected to this hot bowl of yumminess.

before bed, a little dancing and twirling

a fully-stuffed stocking, complete with cat butt stickers (i bet you can guess who that's for...)

i was afraid they'd fall, they were packed so tight!

a lovely sight heading up to bed that eve....

george discovers the joys of chocolate in your stocking

even papa got some treats in his stocking that he's had since he was a child (his mom handmade it)

drinking tea and handing out gifts

puzzles from grandma!

haha, we found this board book at powell's: Nietzsche 4 Babies.

more goodies from grandma...how did this girl not have a jean jacket already?

blocks rule

and firetrucks;)

a shoe made from pipecleaners...that is SO mayan!

time to eat: egg-and-bacon pie, cinnamon rolls, cranberry oatmeal muffins, lox-and-bagels with homemade cream cheese, chicken apple sausage, and mimosas.

isadore and athena snuggle up together and watch Wall-E

the wind was blowing but it was beautiful and sunny in the backyard...nothing like last year!

C ventures up to see the loft

Athena and Michael feed the chickens

christmas day barn fun!

its so nice to have this little family close to celebrate the holidays with!

dreamy looks from mama and papa nomad...looking over the past, looking toward the future?

don't leave me out, guys!

mayan scopes her viewmaster newly filled with shrek slides

i love my sister-in-law

Athena and a chicken

the egg collector

being silly in papa's glasses

what holiday is complete without a rousing game of scrabble? for the record chemynne, the newbie, kicked our butts.

finally, a delicious christmas dinner of duck legs in braised red cabbage with wine and prunes, and carrots with shallots and herbs. aahhhhhh.....

it was a great way to close out 2009....
what was your favorite part of this holiday season?

georgie's bedroom

2009-12-03T12:16:00.000-08:00

so the other night george falling asleep in his playroom, it seems was not a fluke. the past few nights i've nursed him in my room, then layed him down in the playroom on top of a cushy sleeping bag and he's fallen asleep on his own within ten minutes. no swaddling (this boy must have set record for the oldest swaddled-at-night baby), no screaming....just a milky kiss and a good night, and i don't hear from him again until 8 in the morning, when he wanders into the bedroom saying "Mah? Mah?" or today blake went in to his room and he was just waking up and he sat up and pointed to his sleepy spot and said "night-night"

its weird. blake and i check on him a few times during the night--we've never had a baby out of the bed this soon! and while part of me is a little sad since i know this will be our last baby, it also feels good to have it happen so naturally. through all three kids i've had YEARS of night nursing and snuggling...and toddler kicks to the face, to feel satisfied in the face of this change.

today we picked up a mattress that daena and oliver donated to us and we set it up so now the playroom is officially a bedroom, and it was a pretty sweet moment. everyone brought in something to make it homey, like a dolly and a stuffed tiger, then georgie pretended to be sleeping. it was hilarious. i love my little boy!

*********thank you for the mattress D and O, its perfect!

blog-bandonment

2009-11-30T10:21:00.000-08:00

well, its not like i just forgot. what happened was this: tuesday night i came down to find that the computer area reaked of beer. i lifted the keyboard to find a huge puddle of what can only guess was the last third of my mirror pond pale ale. it was all over the floor, too. george is the likely culprit. i cleaned things up but the keyboard was kaput...only the mouse still worked so i could check emails and bookmarked tabs like facebook but i could not type text. wednesday i considered doing a title-less photo blog with me holding up hand-written messages that said "keyboard broken" "smells suspiciously like beer" "happy thanksgiving"...but something in me said let it go. so i did. then thursday passed and friday...then the whole weekend. i hardly touched the computer at all, even though michael brought us a new keyboard on thanksgiving. so my blog posting month ended with a leave of absence but i'm not sorry. i think the quality of my content was dwindling anyway...better for me to leave it at three weeks of solid wholesome blogness, than to subject you to one last week of blather. but trust me, milk and ink has been revived and i will be a more attentive. keep me in your readers, Readers!

putting the ink in 'mik and ink': the new ink

2009-11-24T11:23:00.000-08:00

.....continued from yesterday:

2009:as a "symmetrical" person i always knew i'd like a tattoo on my right forearm as well--in the same shape and similar composition as the left arm, only this time a tribute to isadore. we had found the name isadore in a book of names from around the world, arranged by origin--and we thought that "gift of isis", the goddess of fertility, was a fitting name for a girl who was concieved earlier than expected on a day i should not have been fertile. (TMI alert: isadore is how i found out i ovulate more than once a month like most women, possibly on demand!) isis is in both greek and egyptian mythology. the name to me has always had a vintage sound, maybe because of isadora duncan, an american dancer in the early 1900's. also linked to this is the popular artistic style of the time, art nouveau which has greek and egyptian mythological elements. perhaps the most well-known artist of this style is alphonse mucha, who draws these dreamy, strong yet feminine figures. (nate was the first to introduce me to Mucha, wanting to incorporate some vines of that style into the left arm piece.)

so i had all of these elements i wanted to fit into the frame on my right arm: a mucha-goddess, with the wings of Isis, with the features of Isadore. her birthflower--a water lily--would round it out, to juxtapose the chrysanthemum on the left. blake and i both thought the man to pull this all off was our favorite artist in portland: james kern at no hope no fear. james worked at optic nerve arts, when nate had passed away and we had seen his amazing work (like large pieces of alex grey's art) first there. now he has his own shop down the street from nomad and is normally booked out for months. sunday, it was finally all realized, bless his heart for pulling all of my ideas together. it needs one more session for color and shading but its everything i wanted and possibly more.

the view i see

left and right

i can't say i have anymore tattoos in mind, but i also know well enough to say that i am sure that will change. i feel very lucky to have had access to so many amazing artists--spoiled really, as my mom observed--and forever wear their interpretations of my ideas on my body, for my own enjoyment.

putting the "ink" in 'milk and ink': history

2009-11-23T11:54:00.000-08:00

1998:my first tattoo was definitely an exercise in asserting my independence--it was almost immediately after my 18th birthday and was simple cursive "L" (for my name) done at Uncle Bill's Tattoo Parlor in Bend, OR. i had no further plans at that time for tattoos so putting a tiny tattoo on the large surface area of my lower back seemed fine to me. (later i discoverd it best to save the large areas for larger tattoos, and the smaller ones for small spaces.)

2000: next just before marrying blake, i had the word "Grace" in traditional letttering applied the space just above the elbow on the back of the arm, a spot that i still find to be a very sexy place to have a tattoo--i had that idea when i spied a girl in the library at OSU with a word tattooed there (it said "vegan.") the concept of grace means a lot to me--not in terms of elegance, but in decency, generosity, and gratitude, and later it was given to mayan for her middle name. a well-known artist did it for me, really for blake as a favor since its probably the smallest and simplest piece he'd done in ages but i'll never forget the look the two of them exchanged when he (the artist) asked me if i planned on having any other tattoos done in the future and i said "no, i don't think so." it was like a "yeah right. you're young. just wait." exchange of glances.

2003:then when mayan was a year and a half, i knew i wanted to honor our romantic beginnings and mayan's conception story with a tattoo of the ruins where we were wed. at the time, our good friend tracy, a piercer, had begun a new studio with her partner nate, a gifted artist and tattooist, called optic nerve arts. i had met nate at their home 6 weeks after they had their baby, isabella, and he was a kind and soft-spoken man that had pulled himself out of a troubled past and was beginning a new life. i knew immediately that i wanted him to do the work. i brought him photos of our trip to mexico and specifically the temple of kukulkan, the tree under which we were married and the view of the yucutan jungle taken from atop the pyramid. i also brought an example of a chrysanthemum, my parents wedding flower and our wedding flower to incorporate into the piece which was designed to be on my left forearm. we drove to portland to have the outline and shading done which was stunning on its own. nate and i discussed whether or not to keep the piece black and gray, or to make it full color, and decided to wait--we'd schedule another session soon for completion and decide then. a few months later i found out i was pregnant with isadore so everything was on hold--i didn't think i'd be ready to be tattooed again until she was at least a year old. but when she was 7 months old, tracy called to tell us the awful news: she'd found nate that morning in the bathtub--he'd had a heart attack. he was only 31 and apparently had had an undetected heart defect. i could not imagine her devastation, and listening to nate's friends and family share their favorite stories at his memorial it was clear what a giant hole his passing left in thier lives. and like others there i felt honored to have a piece of his work on me, even if it was unfinished.

2006: i struggled with that fact, since i knew that tattoo needed some closure but i didn't want anyone else to touch it--also i still hadn't made the decision to go color or black and gray. but a year later, as the anniversary to nate's passing approached, something fell into place that felt right. a tattooist friend, hawk (and his dear family) had relocated to bend from san francisco, with our encouragement who had a gift for bold color work. i asked hawk if he would finish the piece that nate had begun and he kindly obliged. color brought a whole new life to the piece, a perfect balance of pinks, yellow, greens, and blue--while leaving the centerpiece, the temple, flesh-toned. people comment on my arm everywhere i go and i point out the location of our ceremony and tell them how i was 24-hours pregnant with our daughter at the time, and named her Mayan Grace. it brings me much pleasure to gaze at the finished work everyday.

2007: the time came cover my first tattoo, my babies were weaned, i had been working hard on my fit, yoga body, and i had our good friend hawk at my disposal. i told him that i wanted to cover the "L" with something big and bold, but to avoid the common "lower back piece" shape. i didn't have anything meanful to incorporate--i just wanted to use styles that i'd always liked and reflect my own taste and personality. it had to be fun and sexy! i decided on traditional sparrows at the top and cheery, clean japanese style flowers. hawk drew it all out so that the sparrows met on my lower mid-back (masking the old tattoo) and then the flowers cascaded down, following my curves, all the way to to the bottom of my bottom--so really it was two tattoos flanking my backside and not meeting in the middle. a few starbursts drew the two styles together. we broke it up over five sessions--the outline, then four quadrants--and it was so much fun to see it develop, plus working with someone i knew outside of the shop, whose family we spent so much time with made it more relaxed--good thing too since it was my bum that was exposed the whole time! here is the post about getting this done. (ps: hawk still works in bend, at 932 tattoo!)

tune-in tomorrow for part two--putting the "ink" in 'milk and ink': the new ink!

is there a tattoo that you've been wanting?? do you have story of the greatest or worst tattoo you ever got??

i'm such a tease

2009-11-22T20:58:00.000-08:00

i'm cold, and hungry, and tired...and i didn't take any pictures during my tattoo. its still wrapped up so you will all have to wait to see it. it's awesome!!!!! not completely done, but the outline and the flower. just wait 'til you see it! now i need cake and wine and a movie and sleep, in that order.

xoxo

the big recital

2009-11-21T19:29:00.000-08:00

it is so awesome to see your kids work so hard at something new (not to mention my own effort put in, encouraging and sitting through nearly every practice, five days a week!) and reach a goal, like today's piano recital.

i love hearing mayan play--she's grown so much over the last 9 months since her lessons began, and her pieces have been getting progressively more complex, plus she's written her own compositions. she now self-guides herself through the daily practice and has a natural confidence that i admire.

this is isadore's first recital and has only been playing for a few months--the progress is much slower so i've had to really be patient, but it always pays off! just when she feels like giving in, something clicks, and she beams with accomplishment. she must have played "mary had a little lamb" 10 times a day for the past few weeks! amazing since at one point she was like "forget it! i'll never get it right, i'm quitting piano!" she just needed to do it on her own time. she was very nervous but faced the recital (and she was the first to play) with bravery and grace. they were both so beautiful! aw, shucks....we were proud parents today!

isadore's 'mary had a little lamb' (duet with teacher)

mayan's 'trumpet song' (duet) and 'rainbow colors'

blake's mom was able to make it, which was nice since she bought us our piano and has such fond memories of her own childhood piano lessons

and my 20's come to a close....

2009-11-20T11:23:00.000-08:00

better things to do today than sit on the computer, so i am "phoning this one in." blake and i dug up this song a few weeks ago, neither of us knew the other one loved it. seemed appropriate for a birthday blog post. i noticed that it came out three years before i was born.

enjoy....and don't you DARE make fun of their hair!!

(PS: MOM, make sure dad sees this!)

KANSAS - Dust In The Wind
Uploaded by danadi33. - See the latest featured music videos.

29 by 29 update

2009-11-19T12:35:00.000-08:00

i did it. workout #29 complete, and tomorrow is my 29th birthday. too wiped out to be excited. lost one pound after complaining about gaining 7. wish i had done more on the calorie-intake front while i did this. all regrets and bitterness i am sure will be swept away in the shower--i'll give myself that long to be disappointed. then i will step out renewed, toned, glowing with accomplishment, and grateful for my health. because that's how i roll.

:-)

on the menu: 11-18-09

2009-11-18T13:27:00.000-08:00

i just figured out a new regular feature i can do when inspiration (or time) is lacking--tell you what i'm eating for dinner! thrilling for some, mind-numbing for others.

tonight i will be out knitting so i need to have something warm and ready when blake gets home to feed three kids solo. sounds like a split pea soup situation with some tasty kids-will-love-it protein on the side.

simple split pea soup:

(there are never any leftover of this in our house, the kids go nuts for it)

Ingredients

5 1/2 cups water
4 cups organic chicken broth
2 cups green split peas
3/4 cup finely chopped yellow onion
6 ounces diced ham, or cooked bacon, crumbled
1 cup finely chopped carrot
1 cup thinly sliced celery
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1/8 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice

Preparation

Combine first 5 ingredients in a large Dutch oven over medium-high heat; bring to a simmer. Cover, reduce heat, and simmer 1 hour, stirring occasionally.

Stir in carrot, celery, pepper, and salt. Simmer, uncovered, 45 minutes or until peas are tender and soup thickens, stirring occasionally. Remove from heat; stir in juice. Serve immediately.

maple and pepper pork chops (or in my case chicken thighs):

(this is swiped from the blog Eggs on Sunday and more detail including step-by-step pictures can be found here-- the best part other than how delicious it tastes is that the ingredients are pretty on-hand)

Ingredients
4 pork chops, bone-in or boneless (I like ones that are about 1 inch thick, and as always, if you can find a local purveyor of humanely-raised meat, please do choose that.)
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 1/2 teaspoon whole black peppercorns, crushed in a mortar and pestle or a spice grinder
2 teaspoons coarse kosher salt
1 large shallot, minced
2 tablespoons chopped fresh thyme leaves
1/3 cup cider vinegar
1/2 cup pure maple syrup (I prefer Grade B or Dark Amber)

Directions

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.

2. Pat the pork chops dry and season them well with the 1 1/2 teaspoons kosher salt. Rub the salt into the surface of the meat.

3. Preheat an ovenproof skillet over medium-high heat. When it’s hot, add the 2 tablespoons of oil (it should shimmer.

4. Place the chops into the pan, presentation side down. Leave them to brown on this side for a few minutes. You can tell they’re ready to flip when the meat releases from the bottom of the pan when you gently lift up an edge.

5. Flip the chops over, insert a meat thermometer into the thickest part of one of the chops, and put the whole pan into the oven to finish cooking.

6. When the chops reach 145 degrees F, take the pan out of the oven and place the chops on a plate. Cover with foil and set aside.

7. Return the pan to the stove. You should have about 1-2 tablespoon of fat remaining in the pan; if there’s a lot more, pour it off before putting it back on the stove. Add the shallot, thyme, and another 1/2 teaspoon of kosher salt. Cook over medium-high heat until the shallot is softening and beginning to brown, about 2 minutes.

8. Add the vinegar and stir with a wooden spoon to loosen the bits of fond on the bottom of the pan. Simmer for another 1-2 minutes, then add the maple syrup and ground peppercorns.

9. Simmer the sauce for about 8-10 minutes, until it’s been reduced by about half, to a syrupy/glaze consistency. Taste and adjust seasoning as needed.

10. Spoon over the pork to serve.

welcome back, nomad 2

2009-11-17T15:19:00.000-08:00

we've been making do with one car for a few months now--and while doable, its annoying. come on, now: three kids, a business that is open 6 days a week, and no easily accessible public transportation near our home. not to mention our one car (the beloved suburban) is a giant white beast and diesel hog (although not as bad as you think) that is not fun to park downtown. its really best suited for towing boats, road trips, home depot outings, or adventures with all five of us on board. we missed our sturdy, diesel, daily driver to cover all those other times. blake had purchased this cutie off of craigslist in june and we got two months out of it before the tranny went kaput. thanks to the fine folks at MBI motors inc, our little beauty is back in action as of today!

welcome back, Noamd 2!

29 by 29

2009-11-16T15:21:00.000-08:00

me with my broth containers--thanks to MG for taking my picture!

so you facebookers may know that i challenged myself to do 29 workouts before i turned 29--at the time, this gave me about 11 weeks which seemed like plenty of time, especially since i was basically going from 0 exercise, to about three times a week. i began the first few weeks with uphill walks around the neighborhood, and then started doing my favorite denise austin video, fat-burning yoga--one good hour of strength training and stretching (plus a killer ab workout), but not a lot of cardio. then i finally popped in the Shred Level 2 workout that Breana gave me, and boy am i glad i didn't just watch it first because it might have scared me off for good. i survived the intense 20 minute workout but decided that i would rather push myself extremely hard for half the time, than go back to my not-as-demanding but full hour routine. a mother's time is precious! the shred workout is crazy because you are working multiple areas at once in three circuits: stength, cardio, and abs. almost enough to make you want to die but just enough so you can survive the 20 minutes. its hilarious, too, because i don't have real weights so i scan the pantry before each workout for something to hold, usually some 2 pound broth containers!

so where am i at now? well, i've done 26 workouts and my birthday is on friday. that means i have to now bump it up to everyday this week, from my usual tues-thurs-sat routine, and i will reach my goal (and i won't have to workout ON my birthday, i hope!!) the results have been totally unexpected--i'll be honest and say i thought i would have dropped at LEAST ten pounds, i was hoping for 15. but nooooooo. i've GAINED 7!! i know its muscle, that is obvious since i feel way stronger and have a new definition to my arms and legs that was not there before. but its disappointing. i wanted to be down a size and into clothes that i wore pre-george. i also thought the working out would "kick-in" some natural weight loss, now that baby Geo is 18 months and barely nurses. oh well. it is what it is. maybe i'll keep it up through the holidays....

mama's little fashionista

2009-11-15T14:54:00.000-08:00

for as long as i can remember i've had a passion for fashion. the highlight of my childhood was pouring over department store catalogs. i'd spend countless hours creating lists of "dream wardrobes"--each list at different price points, like the if-we-won-the-lottery list, the $250 list, and the bare minimum i-couldn't-live-without list. i was the youngest of four children and our income was modest at best so this must have driven my parents crazy. once a week, my mom had her nails done at the JC Penney salon and i would get to spend the whole time browsing the childrens clothing section by myself, marveling at the coordinated sets, and fingering the fabrics, and if i had time try on different outfits. this must have driven the sales people crazy. this love for clothing has alwasy been my favorite pasttime--anytime we go on vacation i want to see the boutiques and vintage stores, every birthday its how i want to spend my day, any extra money that comes our way, i immediately dream up an afternoon at anthropologie. if we are going to go somewhere special like a concert, i will spend the weeks leading up to said event looking for the perfect thing to wear. this, of course, can drive blake a little crazy, too.

when i think back to my childhood, the things that stand out the most are not birthday parties or sports or school...its wandering thorugh malls and admist clothing racks. once, when i was about nine, my sister gave me $100 and i asked my mom to take me to the emporium where i proceeded to choose an assortment of cotton pieces with the most mix-and-match potential to maximize my dollars. i especially remember a pair of paisley print leggings with grey, turquoise, and purple tones that i wore until the knees faded.

and its weird how something is just "turned on" in your brain. my parents were not particulary fashionable people, and i can't think of anything or anyone who influenced me in that direction. and although clothing is material, its wasn't a desire for material possessions or or the status of designer ware. nor was it vanity--i wasn't so much whether i looked beautiful or fancy. the pleasure came from putting something together that was aethetically pleasing. like seeing amazing architecture or being in a room designed in fung shui, fashion is taking color and texture and cultural context and making a wearable expression from it, and i couldn't turn off that awareness if i tried.

it must have been about a year ago that i noticed something. blake and mayan have always had this deep connection--they share all the same interests, you can pretty much bet that if blake is into it mayan will become a fan as well. as she gets older their love of mutual things gets more intense, and its like this "aside" from the normal parent-child relationship, a thread of a common connection that looks more like friendship. its sweet and in the past i have been somewhat envious of their bond. so this thing i saw a year ago surprised me a little bit. it sprung up and suddenly it came to me that i might get to have this connection with another child: isadore. the two of us have always had an easy time getting along, but now a new development in our realtionship emerged: the girl loves fashion.

it took me a while to see this because it started as a love of dress up. not unusual for kids to love to dress up, but she took to dressing up all day, everyday. i began to expand our dress up box...or boxes, with thrift store finds. she would watch a movie and then immediately go to the box and create a look similar to the main character. it never had to be JUST like the character either--she happily worked with what she had, so if the character wore a puffy white shirt and vest, any old white shirt and an indian print vest turned inside out would do.

i will never forget the moment though that i knew isadore had my affection for fashion, the same mindfulness about clothing that i possessed. we were at the dinner table and mayan brought up egypt, and how she would love to go there for a family trip one day. we all agreed and then isadore sucked in her breath and proclaimed "i know exactly what i would wear when we got to egypt!" i just about died. i tried not to have a huge reaction but i looked right to blake with tears welling in my eyes, and his smiling look back told me "she's definitely your daughter!!" i just had to pull her into me then and laugh through my tears. ah, someone who understands!

on her 5th birthday, totally stoked on her new look

since then its been a pleasure watching the passion grow in her and her own style develop. everytime isaodre comes downstairs dressed she looks totally put together. she sees something in an article of clothing that i would miss--there is one pair of jeans in particular that she has loved to shreads, and no jeans has been able to replace them, something about the exact fit that captures her (she calls them her "sarah" jeans inspired by the character from the movie Labrynth.) not long ago, i bought her a pair of basic old navy boot cut jeans and she took them and thanked me politely. later she sighed to me how when she's older she will design a jeans that fit close to the legs, and she used her hands to show me how they would hug her legs. "sweetie," i said "they do make those. they are called skinny jeans." "They do?!" she replied ecstatically and the hunt began for the perfect pair of skinny jeans.

this is one of her first creations--using a diaper and a yoga strap, its a corset-style top...and of course with her beloved "sarah" jeans. where did she learn to work the camera like that??

our good friend Halle, who is a designer, came to visit this summer and she let Issy (who lived in her swimsuit pretty much the entire month of august) try on her "warrior" jewelry

its gotten to the point that i actually am inspired by HER. she is just so fresh and her look is aethetically clean, which i love. its not a bunch of randomness, she dresses with purpose. i have been teaching her different names for clothing, like the different types of jackets. she loves this character called carmen san diego who wears a red trench coat, so she's alwasy on the lookout for a red trench. she'll point something out and say "that's kind of like a carmen coat" and i say "thats called a pea coat" and we'll talk about the differences. while a small part of me has always critizied myself for what can seem like frivolous time spent talking about, looking at, shopping for clothing--i mean couldn't my energy be better spend on something more constructive?--but what i know, especially by watching it in isadore, is that you can't turn off a passion, you could stop shopping altogether (i practically have) and stick to jeans and a t-shirt everyday...but you would never stop observing and having a reaction to fashion. i know its like that for anyone's passion: you can ever really turn it off. so i am teaching isadore how to have balance. we don't need oodles of clothes, and we don't have to spend a lot of money on them either; we can't hold up the family looking for the perfect outfit, sometime we just have to be comfortable and move on. and when we do find that great look, we can give one good look in the mirror and pat ourselves on the back, but then lets go out in the world and be good people. not vain, not shallow--those things are not synonamous with fashion.

the latest look: vintage cat-eye glasses, a flowy feminine shirt, the ragged yet beloved "sarah" jeans, and sneakers

i've been looking for something special to do with isadore lately, since mayan, who loves music tens to get to go to the concerts (she can sit still a lot longer...) and i know isaodre can feel lieft out. imagaine my glee, when i saw in the paper that a fashion show called junk to funk was going to be all ages at the crystal ballroom. this event is a contest for designer to use trash, or materials that could be reused, to create fabulous couture and is sponsored by SCRAP. i knew my friend halle, who is a fashion designer, would be here in portland (she relocated from bend on novemebr 1st!) so we made a date, and isadore was SO excited--her first fashion show, AND it would be for a good cause, and to promote environmental consciousness.

the night of junk to funk: ready to rock it

last night was a blast--we got decked out and stayed up late, and being under those lights and right up against the runway was something neither of us will forget. each creation was inspiring and amazing...and the materials used were incredible! construction cones, tampon wrappers, tyvek mailers, inflatable matresses, coffee filters.....it ended being a great way for isadore to enjoy one of the reasons we moved here: culture, and also for us to bond over our love of all things fashionable. oh, my little fashionista, it was the first night of many, i hope!

left to right: andrea (halle's friend and favorite model), halle my-friend-who-loves-all-thing-fashion, me, and isadore (trying so hard to squeeze in she's making a face)

the outfit i voted for, made from construction site materials including a cone and barrier fencing. that is her real hair wrapped around wires!

me and my girl kickin' it on the runway, discussing the last set

six hands are louder than two

2009-11-14T16:37:00.000-08:00

i've got a big post brewing for tomorrow about fashion and isadore. so here's just a little something to fill todays slot.....

the kid lens: 4

2009-11-13T11:23:00.000-08:00

*more pictures that showed up my camera, most without my knowledge*

this is a classic

*as seen on mayan's blog--bandit the hamster

hey, everybody--it's vaughn. hi, vaughn!

uh-oh, we're busted looking at hybrids...

i am trying to teach george how to take a picture....

...obviously the boy knows what he's doing;)

i can't tell if mayan took this herself or if she had Issy do it, but i know she's fake sleeping

oh, lovey face!

this must be mayan's doing b/c this is at nomad

my butt hurts....

2009-11-12T14:20:00.000-08:00

...just looking at this egg!

blake joked that we might have an ostrich. i think one particular hen is just getting all the good scraps. the funny....okay, maybe not funny, maybe more like the gross thing, is that last week we got another big egg, not quite as big as this one but huger than all the rest....and it had dried blood all around it like the chicken had to strain really hard to get it out. EW!!! apparently she's all stretched out now 'cause this one was nice and clean. (i know, i know, EW!!!!!)

the one in his right hand is an average-sized large egg. the left is like uber-jumbo-ass-kicker-sized.

there's a good chance its a double-yolker but we're saving for something extra-special!

scrabble with MG

2009-11-11T11:23:00.000-08:00

i taught mayan how to play scrabble last winter, and we had a few great fireside games. sure, i give her advice on how to better play a word and help her build words if she's stuck, but i also make her add up her own points. its a well-rounded home-school activity: spelling, math (addition, value, and intro to multiplication), stategy, and of course, vocabulary. i was amused by the results of last weekend's game, as there were some...how should i say...grown-up words. i put down "sex" (i think mayan believes the origin of this word is from that show "sex and the city") and she turned it into "sexy" for 14 points. we both had a chuckle over "fart" (my play, actually.) and while i was hesitant, i could not resist the huge score on the right side of the board despite to potential uncomfortable explanation. luckily though, it began as "abort" ("you know like 'abort mission!', to cancel or call off..." i explained) and the next turn i happened to have an "ion" and no questions were asked. plus i got 30 points for it.

when they are old and i'm older

2009-11-10T15:09:00.000-08:00

i was trying to capture a baby-eats-lime moment, and ended up with a classic slice of life. we don't film our children very often ever since our video camera died years ago, and this made me remember how precious that footage can be. and while its not the most exciting footage ever, something like this will bring endless smiles and tears years down the road, when i can't believe that my babies were ever babies.

i'm a firestarter

2009-11-09T11:57:00.000-08:00

last year, as summer was ending and the cool weather lay ahead, blake and i made a decision: we were going to challenge ourselves to NOT turn on our central heating system. our first year here, the heating bill was insanely high--not surprising since we have a very large home, with an above-average amount of windows, none of which are energy-efficient. one aspect of central heating that we've never liked is the even-ness of heat around the home--we were always battling over the "perfect temperture"--in our classic opposite natures, if one of us was hot (blake!) then the other was cold (me!) we alwasy felt "dried out" and anytime the heat would kick on blake would complain its was "blaring"....sigh.

we decided to experiment with heating main living area with wood, and use space heaters in the bedrooms. seemed like a simple switch but actually proved to require a fireplace remodel. our a-frame home is graced by a dramatic external cement-cast fireplace and 30 feet of piping shooting past the all-glass face of the our home, toward the sky. the fireplace opening is of course in the inside of the home, was originally set-up for gas but we planned on just burning wood. we decided to consult with an expert to see if our ridiculously tall chimney would need any maintainence before the first burn. this is how we met Buck. he owns Buck's Stove Palace on Foster Road and really deserves a blog post all his own: he's a kookie, amish-bearded, stove genius who charges one dollar for a housecall. he leaves messages that begin with "Hi, from Buck!" and then ends with "Well, 'bye' from Buck!"

when Buck came to see our fireplace he descibed it as "a rich man's dream"--architecturally stunning but completely inefficient. for starters the stove piping was single-walled, added to the fact that the unit itself was outside of the home it equaled massive heat-loss. he suggested installing a cast-iron fireplace and running new piping up through the old, turning the old place into a sort of hearth for the new unit. well, that wasn't in our budget--a new jotul wood stove, although beautiful and long-lasting, runs for thousdands of dollar--so we spent some time discouraged.

by october we'd done nothing for heat and dealt with extra layers and wool socks. but upon returning from our seattle vacation, we found a surprise in our living room--Buck had, with the help of breana and our extra house key, delivered a gorgeous chocolate brown cast iron stove to our living room with a note that explained that he'd just recieved this unit used (a rarity) and he'd like us to check it out--no obligation to buy--but that he would really like to help us and we could work something out. we were pretty stunned that he'd gone through all that trouble for us and we'd only given him a dollar so far! once i saw the fireplace in the living room, i was smitten with it--it grounded the sleek and modern existing fire area with a traditional and functional warmth (no pun intended.)

we ended up having it installed, piping and all, which was a massive undertaking requiring extensive scaffolding to feed the pipe down from the top, 30 feet in the air (remember, in an a-frame house there is no roof to stand on since the sides are so steep.) buck barely charged us for materials and the fireplace was a fraction of what it would have cost new--and he gave us a year to pay it off.

by november, the very night we had houseguests arrive for the thanksgiving holiday, it was ready for a fire. it was exciting to have our extended family with us for the first blaze and we huddled around it, mesmorized by its light. the area soon became the hub of activity, where our guest would come to warm up, since the back sections of the house remained cool, and we would set up the kiddie table and play games like mancala, or read or do a homeschool lesson near the "heat box".

we soon learned that heating a home by wood was a sort of lifestyle. everyday we'd gather wood from the wood pile and bring it in, hopefully enough to last the day. we'd split kindling daily. we were alwasy grabbing extra newspapers. the ash box had to be emptied every few days. we would look at the dead trees in the backyard and see them as next years cord of wood. blake took to cooking our morning eggs and potatoes in a frying pan on the top of the stove and we'd set our tea cups there to stay warm. we became wood stove people. we would only start a fire if we'd be around to tend it so some days we'd come home from a long day of errands and the house would be cold, but blake would start an evening blaze while i made dinner and by the kids' bedtime, we'd have something cozy to sit by. once a fire is lit, there is this potent energy in the home that has to be tended, mothered even, like one of my own children. and this became part of my routine, periodic checking, stirring the hot coals, adding a log, fanning a dying flame, putting on boots and jacket and walking to the wood pile for a few armloads...the fire needed to be kept healthy, kept alive! i fell in love with its presence in my home and the discipline it evoked from me.

i'd always had fireplaces in our homes growing up and remember watching my father build and stoke many a fire. i felt like if i had to start one myself i'd do fine--i understood the gist of fire-building. having one in our home now gave me the opportunity to really build this skill. keeping it alive once it got going was a quick learn for me, but starting one myself was not a consistant success. some would take off and others would fizzle leaving me frustrated that i'd lost time and starter materials. i was not exactly sure what i was doing wrong, so at first i just asked blake to always start one before he left. this was fine for a while but busy mornings happen to busy people and sometimes there just wasn't enough time--and it seemed that the way we were starting them took a lot of time and tending just to establish a decent layer of coals. i will never forget one cold day when there was no fire and blake was at work, my hands were full with the baby and two children--i wanted a fire quickly and didn't want to waste time with a failure. i decided to call the neighbors, and see if rich (breana's husband) could come over and start one for me, which thankfully he did. this time, i watched how he did it closely. i am perfectly at ease with traditional roles, and leaving certain work "to the men"--blake brings home the bacon and i tend the hearth--now quite literally--but what kind of hearth-tender would i be if i couldn't build a decent fire! i felt very grateful for rich's help, but i also decided that i didn't want to have to call him again--i needed to master fire-building.

i spent the next few months perfecting the initial fire-starter set-up, and also experimenting with the different types of wood we had. the first two cords of the season were a varied mix of hard and soft wood, but the final cord was all fir, which took a lot of time to adjust to. fire after fire my confidence grew. i am happy to report two things: first, we met our goals and we never did turn on our central heat, and second, this year i am the official fire-starter in our home, with no more failed attempts. i decided to take pictures of the process during 2nd or 3rd fire of this year, to cement my confidence that after taking off the summer months by fire-building skills had not waned, and also in case someone else out there lacking this skill wanted to be enlightened (ha, more puns!!) so here's how i start a fool-proof fire:

you've got to have your essential items: newpaper, dried twigs, pinecones, smaller-sized fir kindling, a few soft wood logs...oh and a lighter!

first layer: newspaper. i prefer a combo of the twisted-like-a-log and just a plain old crumple

second layer: sprinkle with some pinecones

third layer: a handful of dried twigs, layed out all willy-nilly in different directions

fourth and fifth layer: kindling sticks layed down in an "x" pattern, with the bigger logs on top, also crossed. you want air (and then flames) to be able to make its way through your pile to ignite more material. resting the larger logs on the little metal log holders can help to keep the "upside-down pyramid" balanced...

light 'em up. i prefer a long lighter like this, and also i like to light three points of the newspaper--left, front, and right.

now i close the doors, but crack the bottom vent causing an updraft of oxygen that feeds the flame, and really makes it blaze hot to catch all of that material on fire. this is actually the ash pan on my fire-place but the other vents on the sides don't do the job the way this does...

here we go--everything is catching

a quick peek a few minutes later reveals that, yes, the logs have caught fire and things are progressing nicely

at this point i had walked away for a while, and had not yet added any logs since that initial start-up. but no fear, a nice hot bed of coals is forming that will ignite any log you throw on top. i might take a poker and flip that red log before adding two more and closing it up.

so i did just that, and things are getting very hot. once i see all the logs are caught and there is that layer of hot coals, i can close the bottom and let things burn more slowly.

once things are fully established, this is what the inside looks like. as each log burns down and turns to glowing red coal, i just keep throwing on fresh, dry logs, adjusting the hardwood logs as needed (they are much denser and sometime need a flip)

do you have any wood fire tips or memories to share??

meet prince and princess snottyface

2009-11-08T12:00:00.000-08:00

saturday is isadore and george's day to keep each other entertained, and last saturday they both had to same snotty, sneezy cold. now that george is old enough to actively play with the girls (or at least be dressed up and forced to play) he finds himself in all sorts of roles. isadore convinced me to put this shirt on him, over the fleece jacket he was already wearing, so the result, all you seinfeld fans, looked much like the infamous "puffy shirt." aren't they a comical pair.....too bad you can't see the crusty snot smears on their faces, that was the cutest part.

here, prince geo looks like he's relieving himself in the royal bushes:

officially over it, despite the princess' pleas

a warm smile

2009-11-07T14:02:00.000-08:00

this morning, i was battling a case of the "a.m. grumpies", dispite having been woken up to my honey delivering me a hot cup of tea in bed. while huffing around the kitchen, i got upset with blake for leaving something at work that i needed for today. he offered to run to nomad and get it and bring it back, and before he left he reminded me that my breakfast was being kept warm in the oven. a few mintues after he'd gone, i looked in the oven and saw this:

needless to say, i felt like a perfectly ungrateful poophead. but it immediately turned my attitude around. nothing like a warm smile to cheer you up, right?

my fridays

2009-11-06T20:24:00.000-08:00

day so long, computer so slow.

this will be my first (of many i'm sure) day of half-assed blogging. i want to get into pajamas and put the kids to bed and eat ice cream while watching an alfred hitchcock movie.

friday is the busiest day of the week. i try to cram all errands into this day so that i can stay home, and save gas and money monday through thursday. here was today's day, start to finish. maybe next time i'll take pictures....like a day in the life, part two: out-and-about!

6:30 george wakes up and i put him in his room with a snack and sippy cup. he plays and i go back to bed. this is what happens every morning. he's the best baby ever. blake comes and gets him when he's woken up but Geo usually plays happily for 1 to 2 hours without a peep. i know, best baby ever.
8:30 i hear blake getting george and looking for wipes. i tell him where they are. then ask for 30 more minutes.
9:30 i wake up for reals this time. put on my sheepskin house boots and make the bed. i like to start the day with a made bed.
9:40 finish the dishes in the sink, make breakfast (ham, freshly-layed egg, cheese on a sprouted bagel--a common morning-starter), and start a cup o' irish breakfast. mayan unloads the dish washer.
10:00 alternate between eating breakfast/drinking tea, feeding george some egg, and checking email and facebook, and solidifying grocery list.
10:20 sit in living room and finish cold bagel and cold tea while listening to the practice piano.
10:30 blake gives the "lets be gone in 30 minutes"announcement, so i head upstairs to get dressed while barking orders: gather piano books! gather library books! put ice packs in the cooler! shoes, shoes, shoes!! NO, not those ones! where are your sneakers?
10:55 dressed and loading car. run back in to grab iPod.
11:20 roll up to fred meyer for "red drink" (tropical recharge) and other fred meyer grocery items. (it is one of three or four grocery stores i shop at every friday) put perishable groceries in cooler in the back of car.
11:55 deliver blake to nomad just in time. he peirces a nose right away and use the phone to call danielle (see what she'd like for dinner) and then my friend halle (to make sure she's bought the tickets to the fashion show we are attending next week end.)
12:20 pop in a new audiobook for the kids and i--"the gooney bird books" by lois lowry. head to new seasons.
12:30 mayan wants to stay in the car to keep listening to the story so i take the baby into new seasons for groceries: part two. its the only place that has the bagels i can eat. also the 'enjoy life' chocolate chips for the kids. spendy items but essentials. also i like the ground pork. feed george rice puffs while we shop to keep him occupied.
1:00 return to car, get the what-did-i-miss-in-the-story update while unloading cart, give the kids some free samples i scored inside. count my cash, and return the cart, stopping to give the epileptic homeless woman on the corner two dollars. i don't do this very often, i'm always back and forth about whether its really helpful at all. but today, i can spare two bucks, so whatever.
1:17 next stop trader joe's. we all get out. get TP and essential gluten-free things unavailable at any other stores. find "appleface" the stuffed cat they hid in a different place everytime (kids get a treat if they find him.)
1:45 get back to car, rearrange back of suburban, feed everyone turkey sandwiches.
2:00 stop at woodstock library to return books and get a new pile. this week lots of easy read books for isadore, magic tree house books for mayan, an alfred hitchcock dvd and two randomly picked mucis cds for me and b, and our first edith nesbit book for all.
2:40 ha, the choice to hit the woodstock library was a stategic move on my part--the only taco cart in town that is soy-free is in the parking lot next door. i order two tacos and let the kids look through our new books in the car while i wait. clean out my purse. the fresh tortillas are to die for--so soft and fluffy!
3:00 arrive early to the girls' piano lessons. george has fallen alseep! perfect timing. eat my tacos. listen to the skippyjon jones cd that came with the library book.
3:15 escort issy to her lesson. come back to car and read mayan some nancy drew (the bungalow mystery)
3:45 isadore comes out and mayan goes in. read to issy. try the two new cds i got from the library--they both suck really bad. then listen to iPod--regina spektor, soviet kitsch.
4:20 mayan is back from her lesson and we head straight home.
4:35 girls and i unload groceries and put them away while i start to make burritos. george is up and grupmy--keep him out of trouble while the girls ride their bikes before it gets too dark.
5:30 finalize and assemble burritos and put half in the oven to warm. whip up a small batch of guacamole.
5:55 pack up four toastly burritos and guac to deliver to danielle. load up kids in car and make sure i turn off all the lights in the house before we go.
6:15 get to D's, leave kids in car whle i run her dinner to her and then stand in her doorway chatting for 10 minutes. have her call blake and tell him i'm on my way (and running late)
6:45 arrive at nomad. pick up b.
6:55 stop at freddies again b/c i forgot to buy beer.
7:15 get home and heat up burritos. have girls clear their library pile off the counter and then set the table. crack a negra modelo to go with my food.
7:35 finish dinner, have kids help clean up. opne a second beer, go to computer and discuss/mull over VW TDI wagons. then i start this blog post.
8:30 realize the kids are getting rowdy and blake is in shower. walk ways from the computer and start getitng them ready. they brush teeth. i wrap up geo and nurse him down in no time. lay him in his crib. head to the girls' room, go up in mayans bunk and read half of "the deliverers of their country" by edith nesbit. give lots of kisses and sweet dream wishes.
9:30 head back downstairs. start blogging again. get the how-long-will-you-be-clicking-look from blake. assure him i'm wrapping things up.
10:03 really wrap it up. try to remember where i left that beer.

all in all, this one wasn't so half-assed. what did you do today?

lumpias!

2009-11-05T14:17:00.000-08:00

.....are freaking delicious. ever had one? they are like lighter, crispier egg rolls packed usually with tender meat and tasty vegetables. these irresistible delights made their way into our family history at some point, and i did some asking around to find out exactly how by talking to my mom and sister.

i've always known that the mere word "lumpia" caused a sparkle in the eye or a lick of the chops whenever it was muttered by a family member. apparently, in ketchikan, the small island in southeast alaska, where my parents were raising their four children (me being the youngest), had a fair-sized filipino population. my mom's comparison was that the lumpia to filipinos are like what a taco is to hispanics. she was introduced to them by her brother kerry's wife, teresa, who was half-filipino. what my sister and i remember was that finding the lumpia wrappers, the ultra-thin crepe-like piece that holds all the filling, was a special treat because the wrappers were not available that we knew of on the island. so if someone in the family, like my dad or aunt, were going to visit seattle, they would try and bring back the wrappers, and then a lumpia feast would ensue. my mom and i wondered if either we didn't know about the "local lumpia wrapper source" or if the local filipino families were just making them from scratch. hard to believe because they are so incredibly thin and delicate to handle. my mom told me that when her brother passed away, and teresa remarried she was kind enough to invite our family to the wedding. there teresa's filipino relatives cooked all the food for the wedding, including piles and piles of lumpias which they fried right there in front of the hungry guests.

this was all just a mere memory for me though since i was five when we left alaska and six when we settled in bend--and remained for over 20 year. by the time i was grown, i was aware of what had become really "the legend of the lumpia" but had never made them myself, i assume since no markets in bend carried that rarity of the wrapper. i recall once, on a road trip in my late teens, stopping at a cafe on the coast for brunch, and seeing, amidst the normal omelette and benedict fare, a special sheet announcing the available lumpias! i excitedly explained to my traveling companion about the elusive fried treat. i can't remember actually eating them there, so either i ordered them and they were unremarkable or i stuck to my french toast and tight budget.

fast forward to last year, here in portland, where i decided i wanted to start a chinese new years feast tradition and have all of my favorite chinese-american dishes, which i am unable to eat now due to The Allergy. (my basic approach to cooking foods that normally contain soy is substitute it with a fraction of salt.) this led to an exploration of the vast array of asian food markets along S.E. Powell Boulevard. i found this to be an awesome cultural experience, if not somewhat dizzying due to the huge selection of products with unreadable labels. blake and i realized that (if you don't care about whether your food is organic) a $20 bag of groceries gets you days of delicious meals, our favorite being our homemade seafood ramen that we've been prefecting over the last year.

back to my original plan, the best market we found is called An Dong Market on S.E. Powell and 55th, and it has everything from two aisles of noodles, a clean and exotic (to us) meat department, and fresh produce popular to chinese cooking. while shopping for my chinese new year feast, i meandered past the freezer section, and lo and behold, what do my eyes land upon but a box of lumpia wrappers! i was tickled and for only three dollars a box, i snatched one up. since my mom and dad were the guest of honors to our first attempt at this new tradition, i was excited to show my mom what i'd found. she helped me through the process of the delicate wrapping and gave me tips about stacking them so they don't stick together, and even fried them up. they were just as good as everyone had remembered--it was very hard to stop eating them!!

three nights ago, when we were preparing to satisfy another ramen fix, i decided to grab another box, and whip up some lumpias to go along. this time, feeling more free about what should go into them. i have both the recipe my mother has passed on from teresa, and the recipe from the back of the box (including the sweet and sour sauce which is so good for dipping!). the recipe i have settled on is somewhat between the two, but this is one of those things that really, once you are comfortable, is a flexible, whatever-is-on-hand type of food, and doesn't require specific measurements.

*****
first i give you the original recipe that came through our family, from teresa:

*chicken breasts
-boil the breasts until done, then cool, and finely dice. set aside.

*vegetable oil for sauteing
*bean sprouts
*green cabbage, finely chopped or shredded
*carrots, grated
*green onion, chopped

-saute the vegetable in the oil. also add:

*dash of garlic salt
*soy sauce, to taste

-when soft, remove from heat, drain, add chicken to mixture, and let cool.

when the filling is cool, take your thawed wrappers, and one by one gently separate, fill with large spoonful of mixture, and wrap, wetting the last bit to seal. keep lumpias in single layers, using wax paper to add more layers, until you use up all the filling. deep fry in oil or fat on low controlled heat until golden brown.

teresa's sweet and sour sauce;

1 cup tomato juice
1/2 cup vinegar
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup white sugar
ginger root, julienned
3 Tbsp water
1 Tbsp corn starch
1 Tbsp soy sauce

--cook all ingredients in a pan until thick. serve warm with the lumpias!

********
and now my version, which is soy-free, and has the best part--a nice crunch inside provided by water chesnuts and also no pre-cooking required:

toss together in a large bowl the following:
*1 pound ground pork, sauted and drained
OR dark chicken meat, cooked and finely chopped
*1/2 cup carrots, grated
*1 cup mung bean sprouts AND/OR cabbage, shredded
*1/3 cup mushrooms, chopped
*1/3 cup yellow or white onion, finely chopped
*1/3 cup water chesnuts, chopped OR turnips, finely chopped
*3 cloves garlic, minced
*1/2 tsp rice wine vinegar

mix in a small bowl:
*2 large eggs
*3 tsp tapioca starch

add to meat-veggie mixture. season with:
*1/2 tsp pepper
*1 teaspoon salt

toss well! then begin rolling (my lumpia wrappers have a nice diagram on the back of the box to help you along) basically: fill, fold sides, and roll, wetting the last bit to seal it closed. place on a platter in layers, using wax paper bewteen each layer to prevent sticking. i fry them in canola oil, using about 1/2 inch of oil in the pan, so when submerged the lumpias are not quite covered and can be flipped, until both side are golden brown. set on paper towels briefly to absorb excess oil, and serve with sweet and sour sauce.

the sauce:

3 Tbsp vinegar (white wine or apple cider both work well)
1 tsp salt
6 Tbsp sugar
1 Tbsp tapioca starch
1/2 cup water
1 1/2 Tbsp oil

place in a small sauce pan and heat until thickened.

****

so tell me, readers, have you ever had a lumpia? got another recipe to share? also let me know if you try one of these and, of course, the result....

the perfect boot finale

2009-11-04T14:02:00.000-08:00

part one and part two are here.

a new season! a renewed sense of hope of finding the perfect boot! in typical fashion, the world of fashion has caught up with me--every time, for as long as i can recall, if i've searched despearately for an item, there is always a plethera the following year. this is why i was studying fashion merchandising in college before i dropped out, to fulfill my own needs of having access to the clothing i wanted before it was easily available, and to use my knack of being one step ahead of the world of ready-to-wear, and get paid for it.

a sit-down on the zappos site and confirmed a large selection of tall leather boots, both functional, quality, and stylish. i quickly settled on two pairs and convinced blake to let me max out our credit card and order both, see which one is better, and send the loser back. you will recall last time my saga took place over january, so most of the boots my size and color choice were sold out. i was just a wee bit paranoid about that happening again. but here i was early in the season, with all these hot boots fresh for the picking!

last year, when i gave up the search, i ended up surviving the rest of the wet season with a fine pair of black rubber rain boots with laces up the front that i found for half-off online. they are great but don't live up to many of the criteria of that "perfect boot." the perfect boot, just for review, needs to be leather, an appealing shade of brown, have secure tread for slippery surfaces, and (the toughy) needs to have a large enough circumference in the calf (sadly, my calf is the same circumference as last year dispite my efforts to lose weight.) plus it has to be pretty.

pair #1:

the franco sarto telluride. mmmmmm.......this boot gives me the chills. its seeeeeexy, but would be even sexier broken-in, like a true leather boot. the buckle (which i'm usually opposed to) is just the right touch, not too tough, just there. the shade of brown--warm, reddish, yummy. the zipper was beefy and industrial and, the twist, on the outside of the shaft--oh, yeah.

the fit: a no-go. shit, shit, shitty-shit. not big enough around the calf, and stretching would have been a risk at that price. and in the foot area: ow. ow. ow. very narrow with stiff leather. one trip around the living room and i was wincing. with a sigh, i printed the label for their return.

besides all of that, its still my favorite looking boot i've seen all year. i guess it will remain "boot porn," and i can imagine wearing them in my dreams.

pair #2:
i gave another pair of timberlands a shot. these were $100 more than the timberlands of boot search part one, so i knew the quality would be better than those cheap-o's. i liked the color, too--very different. almost a grey or green hue to them in person. compared to the tellurides the style is....um, bland. but the beauty of these is that the style could go either way: a little country, a little rock and rock, a little boho...they are a whatever, wherever and don't make a huge statement. the tread: respectable. the fit: a clear, clear winner. they went on like butter, had a roomie, comfortable footbed and didn't squeeze. the calf was just enough with no room to spare, but a small hidden panel of elastic to make them work. phew! the relief!!

what i've discovered it that the best bet for a larger calf is a pull-on style boot--these are meant to, on a smaller-sized calf, have space between your leg and the boot top so it can be pulled on and off without the need for a zipper. no harm done if your calf fills up the extra room--especially nice if there is a small section of elastic at the top for comfort and ease.

the leather is soft and does slouch a bit now that they are worn-in, but not so much that it affects the tallness of the boot, or kills the shape of my leg--i still have an ankle, but also they are easy to wear, not stiff at all. i can run errands and crouch and carry kids, and my feet don't hurt at the end of the day. my look has been these with opaque black tights and a sweater dress almost everyday: my fall look is complete! and to think, i have all of the remainder of fall and winter to enjoy my perfect pair of boots...isn't that how it should be? only time will tell if they last more than one year, but until then, after all i've been through in my search, i am already getting my money's worth.

Oc-slow-ber

2009-11-03T11:50:00.000-08:00

October is a month I look forward to all year long, one because its the first full month of fall, the best season on the planet, the one which beckons out sweaters, tights, woolen belted coats, and tall leather boots. Tanktops and tan lines and sunscreens begone! But the main reason why I covet the tenth month is its where we take our yearly family excursion away from the daily grind and make a week-long memory that we draw from throughout the year. Traditionally, this is because October is the slowest month for business: Oct-slooooow-ber. I love the planning involved, the unexpected moments, the let's-have-another-one-we're-on-vacation attitude, the autumn-rich photos, and even the post-adventure scrapbooking or blogging that follows. Goooood times....even when there is the inevitable argument, or we're caught in a downpour, or I get crabby beacuse I can't find a restaurant I can eat at, etc. You all recall the Pee-Tea story of Seattle '08. But it all makes for another riveting chapter of the Perlingieri Family Experience.

This October proved to be as slow as any other, with one painful difference: no vacation. I had a period of denial, maybe a touch of anger however fleeting, a little bargaining on both Blake's and my part, but in the end, acceptance. We strive to be, and to teach our children to be, grateful people. We are doing what we must to make ends meet, and honestly its not hard to see that others have it much worse--and that we have many blessings to count. We had a bit of a vacation weaning process anyhow to lighten the blow--early vacations we flew to New York and Mexico, then we began doing the Canada-thing to save money and avoid flying, and finally, last year we took a shorter trip and fled to the closest city possible. So, we'll be fine. (But, I swear to you, dammit, if things ever improve, I insist on an entire month in Europe to make up for it.)

So here are October's highlights, all within our dear city of Portland.

bet you didn't know we had three kitties

getting ready to start the first fire

that apple festival at portland nursery

apples everywhere!

i only made it through the first 1/4 of the tasting...there was a LOT of apples

mayan learning to blow bubbles with her gum

Blake's birthday dinner: morrocan-style lamb shanks with red lentils, over rice with toasted pine-nuts, almonds, and pistachios, and a pear and blue cheese salad.

the birthday boy sucking marrow with intensity
the play area under autumn's magical touch

the boy plays with his Tonka

papa and his boy enjoy a warm fall day

parsnip haiku:
planted in the spring
these giant autumn parsnips
taste great in pot roast

more funky fruits...er, veggies...of the fall garden

blake's old boss Vaughn came to visit. this is the guy who when blake, two decades ago, wanted to pierce professionally (as opposed to piercing his friends at the park or at parties) went to to ask for a job. Vaughn gave that young man a chance and the rest is history...or as blake and his sister chemynne would say: "20yearsagoB"

vaughn and his girlfriend were on their way to a steam punk convention (google it) and this is vaughn's little "toy" that he showed off to the girls--a heat-powered piston engine, made from glass so you can see how it works.

impromptu science lesson!

my brother and his wife and son visited as well and took isadore, george, and i to the zoo.

too cute....see the giraffe behind them!

i insisted on a family shot even though wesley was totally NOT into getting his picture taken--he wanted to explore every corner of the zoo! there was no cruising by any building or exhibit, he wanted to see it all, without stopping...meshem and rachel were so ready to lay down. why don't they serve beer at the zoo again??

blake makes isadore's kitty-pumpkin dreams come true

this is my favorite pumpkin i've ever carved...spooky!

kitty-women takes it to the streets

mayan needs BLOOD!!

the little monster and his secretary get ready to hit some houses

pumpkins-all-aglow

the end!

just like that

2009-11-02T10:45:00.001-08:00

without even thinking about the consequences i am throwing myself into national blog posting month, a day late. in fact, someone just asked me "hey, are you going to do it this year?", and i said no....and then promptly i went straight here to milk and ink and un-privatized the blog and here i am. talk about being easily swayed by the power of suggestion. just don't tell me i HAVE to do. i'm not too attached to the outcome--who knows, my computer could take a fatal turn any day. i may even employ some "cheater" tricks like pre-writing and post-dating. and don't expect capitalization.

but i have been wanting to write. plus i don't like being left out and it seems like "everyone is doing it." and finally, i love november and blogging is a perfect way to document its glory which contains: my two favorite holidays--day of the dead and thanksgiving, my birthday, anniversary (the wedding one)....i am also scheduled to get a new tattoo. so there is is. milk and ink is back. just. like. that.

let's review the cast of characters:

papa nomad

goobie

kitty-dore

and yours truly, mama nomad

(photo taken by Goobie)

a post with some heart

2009-10-22T12:06:00.000-07:00

what's wrong with me? i don't know. i can make all kind of excuses for not blogging--like our computer is on the fritz and i've been sucked into the facebook nexus instead...but really i think there is something deeper, and i can't quite put my finger on it. i have lots of things to say, but i seem to have this wall between me and the actual sitting down and writing process, even in my journal (which has always been sporadic and spans many different felt and leather books.) i feel something emotionally toxic building up inside me, as well: negativity, jealousies, unstoppable impatience, laziness. its amazing to me how forgiving my family has been, but i don't like what's going on. i feel like i've regressed a decade in maturity over just a few weeks, and i am not sure who or what to blame--i'd like to blame myself but in the past i've been able to pull myself up by my clog-straps when i've recognized a problem. i'm perplexed because i've been doing much for myself and my relationships: i work a few days a month outside the home making good money, i am exercising regularly, eating well and avoiding soy reactions, having nights-out once or twice a week with good company, blake and i are connected and getting along well, and my house is almost always tidy and clean. i should be tip-top!

but something is amiss. the worst part is my mothering. i'm awful right now--no where near being the kind of parent i want to be, approaches and philosophies be damned. my poor children get the brunt of my frustrations everytime. i find myself apologizing for my riduculous outbursts too often. most concerning is how this affects my relationship with mayan, who even on our best days have to work at a connection. to remove her from the mine field of my potential rants, which do nothing for her self-worth, she has been spending more days at nomad, where she is very happy to play chess and being the nomad assistant (she now sets up for piercings and stocks needles from the back.)

somehow isadore weathers these storms with more grace than any five year old i've ever met. a few days ago, i was coming down pretty hard on mayan over something stupid i'm sure, like housework or homework, and isadore witnessed the whole event from her barstool, while coloring and practicing her handwriting. mayan had stormed off bubbling with anger and i let her go so i could allow myself to calm down. isadore casually climbed down from her stool and into the kitchen and began to do a little housework, and as she did this she mused, "i love you, mom." and when i say "mused" i really mean that--it was not some please-don't-turn-that-anger-toward-me attempt, it was relaxed and matter-of-fact. i was stunned by it and plainly said "isadore, how can you say that after my terrible outburst?"

"i don't care about that. i only care that i love you," she told me.

at this point i had to sit down. i was in awe of her unconditional love, such a stark contrast of my own example i'd just set, and could only say "where did you come from??"

she smiled and leaned on the counter and replied, "i come from my heart."

maybe that's what missing for me right now--a path to my heart. i don't seem to operating from that place, so how could i possiby write without that source? i have much to learn from all of my children, and right now isadore is my top mentor--her forgiveness, her bravery, her big wide-open heart. i'd like to be like that when i grow up.

i can't promise i will start writing again any time soon. although i will say writing this feels pretty darn good. i don't feel depressed per se, which i've experienced before so i am not sure what to pursue to feel better. i can promise i will continue to try and put my finger on it; that never stops for me. i'm alwasy examining and reflecting on my behavior, just lately it feel like the "do-er" and "reflector" are two different people, worlds apart. in the meantime, i just hope and pray that my children are well-equipped with their grouchy-mama-repellant rain gear.

one turned out to be a rooster....

2009-09-03T22:06:00.000-07:00

Bought 13 chicks, sexed, to raise eggs. but as they grew up, one particular bird got bigger, faster, than all the rest. then one day we heard the croaky attempts at a call...two weeks later he had it down pretty good, and cock-doodled ALL DAY. that won't fly in our neighborhood, so as they say...off with his head.

****WARNING, MY VEGETARIAN/VEGAN FRIENDS OR THOSE OTHERWISE TRYING TO REMAIN IN BLISSFUL IGNORANCE OF THE SOURCE OF THOSE CHICKEN NUGGETS, THESE PICTURES ARE GRAPHIC****

ready?

in position

got to look him in the eye first

my man does the deed

blood-stained hands (sounds like a Nick Cave song...)

taking a dip

what's this? asks the cat

...and then hangs around to watch the plucking

now we have blood on the pages of "how to raise chickens the modern way"--its like having flour and chocolate smears on your favorite cookbook pages...only more hardcore

taking a breath

rinsing the bird, hold its heart

the knife and the liver

20 minutes ago this was alive. whoa.

the fillings

the goods

the meal

(Poppa Nomad speaks) DIY: That Shit Don’t Grow on Trees

2009-08-29T17:22:00.000-07:00

Since moving to Portland over two years ago, escaping the imploding Death Star of Bend, and since the economy has gone to shit, our family has engaged in a profound paradigm shift: a (our) new model of urban sustainability. More specifically, our redefinition of essential life practices and values. In our disposable, instant-gratification McCulture, a culture of consumption without actual necessity, we’ve all but forgotten what it means to “Do It Yourself”. I refer primarily to the life sustaining act of eating. Sure we all have material wants (even the more Zen among us), and all consume and use up resources...but can we breeders rekindle the fires of the ancients AND sustain ourselves and our families? With three kids can we be in it, but not of it? (A question I have posed to various monks, sages and other Buddhist-oriented teachers). Our family is blessed with a small urban farm that is our model for future sustainability; a living, changing daily mantra that we and our three children “meditate over” on a daily basis. For us and our little tribe, knowing where our food comes from is an integral part of that mindfulness.

We are a race of modern humans who purchase our boxed and frozen cubes of processed, modified, manipulated, and irradiated food from big box stores. We are scarcely aware of the process of growing and cultivating; farming. Victims of progress, we are frighteningly disassociated from the seasonal cycles. Really, I have not been Mr. Righteous my whole life, but our belief that the kids are greatly enriched by participating in the process that puts food in front of their mouths is an edict I now stand firmly by. Let it be said that I have a profound appreciation for Leah who daily prepares multiple organic, gourmet meals for our family. Meals that take into account personal taste, nutrition, our respective allergies...her awareness of the seasonal and sustainable is profound. As the once-in-a-while Chef in our house, I would like to note the extreme satisfaction associated with preparing food to sustain the lives of one’s family. I can only imagine how it must be for Leah, as she has been doing exactly that for what will soon be a decade for our growing family. She is quite the gourmet chef now.

As husband and wife we are fairly traditional: I hunt and gather, and she tends family and hearth. More recently we both have poured our blood and sweat , literally, into our garden. Those of you who know me know I am an “All or Nothing” personality type. In that spirit, my most recent experience of killing and consuming the food we raised was that reconnection the the ancient I spoke of. As an omnivore, I am mindful of how our ability to hunt compels protein and master fire enabled humans to evolve; as a species, we would have perished long ago if it were not for meat (and agriculture). I’ll spare the readers with my diatribe on “Freegans and Hippiecrite” practices, as it does come down to personal choice, but most of us, if faced with starvation would put aside our PC affiliations and consume meat to avoid death. Few political choices are stronger than the will to live. Personally, I grew up in a “gourmet” home....I love food and meat (and get debilitating headaches without my complete proteins)...my mother was a good cook...she was friends with James Beard and Julia Child. James Beard, in fact single-handedly defined the modern American palate. Both made being a chef cool for millions; everybody could do it, we just had to enjoy food. In James and Julia’s day, the advent of technology for the nuclear family of the 50’s and 60’s made for an uphill battle: canned and freeze dried, instant and (later) microwavable. Teaching the modern housewife that fresh was better, would take some time to realize.

Hunting, gathering and farming are the quintessential archetypes for tribal survival. Consumption of complete proteins (not found in plants) play an essential role for the development of synaptic pathways of young human brains. That being said, my recent butchering class with my brother-in-law Michael tested my resolve in a new way: looking into the eyes of your dinner before killing it. (It should be noted that the birds we slaughtered came from our farm: we knew them; we raised them, we named them.) It was overcast and raining. Our class, filled with people of various levels of personal conviction was conducted by a mindful farmer who instructed us to "thank the chicken for giving it’s life”. Like any new practice, some were more adept than others. I found myself annoyed at the “timid butchers” among us; there is much to be said for doing it humanely; quickly and efficiently. “Don’t torture the poor beast”, I thought, “Just Do It”! We learned the finer points of bird preparation, after the deed was done....careful excision of the anal cavity, so as not to rupture intestines...gutting and removal of the internals (which were equipped with eggs in various stages of development, like that frog back in seventh-grade science class). A hot-dip and feather removal, cutting off of the head, and legs at the knees, and appropriate gland removal, so as not to leak bile or other toxins into the bird and spoil the meat were some of the procedural highlights. On the drive home, Michael and I were quiet with our two birds on ice. I was not in the mood for a chicken dinner that night, and for several days saw my beloved family members as piles of guts; an existentialist twist on a factual condition. Leah complimented me on my work as we cooked Obama, remarking how she looked just like as if we had gone to the store and bought a chicken for dinner. Its the in-between process that most of us are disassociated from. That was the big enlightener here.

20+ years ago, I lived on a sailboat (commuted to work as a sailing instructor on my rowboat) and fished daily for my meals for some two years. I slept on the sea and ate from it. Yet, fishing and slaughtering a higher life form (that you raised, fed and interacted with on a daily basis) seem quite “different animals” to me. Hunting or fishing to survive is something few of have ever had to do, yet it is the reason why all of us are here today. It is my belief that this skill is something all modern humans should again nurture. Few understand the difficulty and complexities of cultivating even simple rice and beans; making tofu. Fewer still could do it even if it was a matter or survival.

Urban Farming is the new cool thing to do (especially in PDX). Just listen to NPR and pay attention to media. For me, it’s more than a PC trend; I want to practice what I preach, as it were. I’d be a total “Hippiecrite” if I wasn’t willing to kill, then pull the still-pulsating guts from the abdominal cavity of a chicken (or any other farm animal I keep) in order to feed our family. Truly, being a butcher is a fine art, and I have renewed respect for those who prepare our meat. Presently our survival is not based on my hunting and slaughtering skills, but it may one day be. This felt very different from the catch of the day provided by the ocean so many years ago.

Last year, I cooked eggs from our chickens with potatoes that we grew on our wood burning stove with wood from our property that I cut and split myself...oh yeah, and the stove heated our house, too. This meal had a profoundly different feeling associated with it. DIY never felt so good. Caveman DNA runs deep. Thank you eternally to my wonderful wife for her hard work, constant growth and nurturing of our family. I never wanted children until I met Leah, and now fatherhood is the greatest gift three times over on top of our marriage. The daily practice and ritual of farming and gardening engenders discipline for children as well as adults; mindfulness of the cycles of life and death; growth and change. Self sufficiency: something that you can’t buy at the supermarket. That shit don’t grow on trees!

~Poppa Nomad

DM

2009-08-26T14:17:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago, we splurged on a road trip to Seattle so Blake and I could see Depeche Mode. They've been around for decades, and are one of our mutual favorite bands...it was high time we catch them on their rare West Coast appearance. Seattle was the closest stop and I see why--the Seattle show draws not only the fans from that city but from Portland and Canada (BC) area as well. This made it difficult since we would have to find a way to make the trip, stay in a hotel and get someone to watch the kids. But my mom happily obliged and we got a sweet little mini-vacation out of it.

Mom was great to have with us, especially on the road, handing the kids snacks, reading to them books and she even brought a stash of pipe cleaners which kept the kids entertained, making crowns and jewelry out of them. Here they are in their creations:
We arrived just afternoon and decided the best thing to do, based on our friend Joi's suggestion, was to take a harbor cruise (we'd already see the normal main attractions last October, here, here, here, and here; and who can forget the infamous pee-tea incident)--this way we could see the city as a whole and get to be on a boat, a sensation we've all been craving since this was our first year without the sailboat. It might not have been exciting as sail, but it was really nice. Relaxing and thanks to their narration pretty interesting, too. Like, the guide told us where Fraiser's apartment would have been if the view from the show was really shot in Seattle (as opposed to L.A.)--of course totally unrealistic since it was from a radio tower hill. Silly stuff like that. Anyway they served us beer and we ate sandwiches over the course of the 1-hour ride.
My Mommy and me!

A great shot of Mayan and freshly-fallen top tooth:
Mom chilled inside with the girls, while Blake hung out on deck with George on his back. I love this shot!
What a good Papa! Thanks for bringing us on this adventure, B!
On the last stretch, we watched port workers move those massive containers around on the cargo ships. While I took this, the operator or the mechanism slipped and almost dropped the whole thing--now that would have been exciting...
Ah, breathing the bay area with my sweetie:

Afterwards we checked into our hotel, and treated ourselves to a nice dinner at Etta's Seafood over-looking Pike Place Market. just before the show, we set Grandma up with the kids and a movie and I nursed George down to sleep just in time. We were going to walk to Key Arena but it had just started to rain, heavier than a sprinkle, so we called a cab instead. Blake and I stifled snickers on the way since our cabbie was up to his knuckle picking his nose the whole time as he chatted on his cell phone--talk about multi-tasking! Then when we got out, I just about died when Blake says to the guy "Thanks for PICK-ing us up..." (heavy-emphasis on the "pick") and didn't want to take the change the guy was holding out with his booger-contaminated fingers.

We had some time to walk around before the music started, so I started a quest for "good beer." I thought it was hopeless when I realized the arena must have a contract with the makers of MGD and Rolling Rock, but on our way to our seats we discovered our section had a hidden bar that served Fat Tire--score! Albeit one beer costs $8 a pop, but that's all part of the experience, like $10 popcorn at the theaters (or so I justified Blake.) Drinks were not allowed into the bowl, so we found a space to lean and watched people walk by, proving to be on e of the most enjoyable parts of the evening. First you had different age groups--those that were probably in their 20's when DM was at their peak, and some that may not have been born when their first single hit. then there were the outfits, always a favorite past time of mine, to see what people are wearing. Some girls were really dolled up in goth-y makeup and fishnets--it made me regret right away not wearing my back-up outfit I had bought, a dress and black ankle strap heels instead of grey skinny jeans and a sparkly sweater, which was admitted more comfortable. It was most interesting to guess what these people did during their day-jobs--did they work in an office and only pull out their black platform boots hidden behind their white button up shirts, once or twice a year? Others seemed to live the rock and roll lifestyle on a more regular basis. Certain couples looked like they could be on second dates. And then there were people who just seemed out of place, but you know, you never know what kind of music people will like. this part of the night was fun.

What I've told people when they ask me about the show is that: I am glad I went, and the music was good. All of those things were true. But we were not without complaints--the largest being the visual effects...they were AWFUL! The stage had behind it one of those huge screens that looks like a metal cage until an image appears, and a disco ball shape of the same material. The first song began ("In Chains") and the face of an old man on one side of the screen came on and a young boy on the other. The images slowly morphed during the song so the old man became the young boy and vice versa; not a terrible image, creative...but during this on the ball was an image of a woman on a treadmill. She just climbed and climbed and climbed and never got anywhere--the symbolism I got but the actual image was just distracting. But it just got worse, because with each song came a new, totally unrelated image that would abruptly end when the songs ended, no continuity whatsoever. My conflicted brain got a break when they merely imposed distorted color images of the actual band playing--not creative, but enhancing and allowed the audience to focus on the music and players. The worst one (or what I thought was the worst one at the time) was gum balls. Yup, just gum balls. It appeared that the "sphere" was filled with gum balls at the start of the song and one at a time they would "fall" and appear in the larger flat screen. It seriously looked like a PC screen saver from 1994--and I can even remember what song was playing at the time, only the dumb gum balls. I mean when I think Depeche Mode, I don't think of colorful, novelty chewing gum--it just didn't fit. the last visual straw for me was the last song. Blake and I had started to regret not buying a ticket for Mayan, when we saw some other 7-10 year olds there with their parents. Until the very end, when we looked at each other in relief that we DIDN'T bring her. The band begins playing Strange Love, and a real video comes on screen--a chicly appointed apartment, an ornate chair in front of a fireplace, and in comes a women dressed very provocatively, and lounges in the chair. In comes a sexy Asian gal in a dominatrix style number, and begins peeling off the other girls stocking, and ever so slowly proceeds to suck on her toes, which brings girl #1 much pleasure. By the end of the song, girl #1 has her breast bared, but just in time girl#2 stands up and leaves the room. Okaaaay. Again, I get it, but 1) it was the first actual "produced" video image during the whole show so it seemed like it came out of nowhere and 2) it was totally inappropriate for an all-ages show. A little warning before the lesbian-soft-porn would have been nice.

So to balance out that complaint, there were other things I liked--for instance, Martin Gore (who is not the front man, but writes all the music and lyrics and plays multiple instruments and passes on the front man position to Dave Gahan to get all the glory) had his moment where Dave left the stage and he sung two songs. They were songs I normally don't give much love to when I hear the albums, but hearing him sing them gave me a new appreciation. He has a beautiful voice and in one particular song, which I never got before, I think he is addressing his out-of-the-ordinary position in the band and this gave him validation and a moment in the spot light. Good stuff. They also did a very good selection of material spanning many albums, and one I very much hoped to hear, called Precious--you never know what you'll hear when a band has 12 studio albums plus plenty of other material, and I was not disappointed.

Again, glad we went. Even though we really couldn't afford it I knew we'd regret not going. With the added bonus of mom-time and getting to see a beloved band with my honey, and despite the fact that it wasn't the raddest show we've been to, we're very pleased that we made it happen.

the kid lens: 3

2009-07-25T16:50:00.000-07:00

*pictures taken by my children, with or without my knowledge*

stairs, couch, remote by Isadore

pbskids.org by Isadore

Papa loving me at the computer by Isadore

skull teeth by Isadore

feet on furry rug in striped pants by Isadore

blurry Humper eye by Isadore

Mom on phone with Avia by Isadore

Papa's PAM lecture by Mayan

My parents, the hippies by Isadore

(*note--I did not realize what total hippies we were until I saw this picture: me in my homemade dress, Blake bbq-ing in his buddha shirt in our backyard by our rain-catching barrel with chickens wandering around...i swear to you we were not listening to the Grateful Dead, we do not even own any, that may be our saving grace to complete and total hippidom)

Mom driving on our date night by Mayan

a dress for MG, a dress for me

2009-07-14T15:52:00.000-07:00

I have been at the sewing machine lately and an excited about creating dresses for me and Mayan. Mayan had chose this fabric months ago, wanting to make something for herself but when she saw me cutting out patterns she decided to have me handle it. Even though I am not a super-great seamstress, I have confidence taking a very easy pattern and then modifying it to be more detailed, modern, and shapely.

Mayan's dress was really a nightgown pattern with elastic that was supposed to go all the way around the neck, which seemed too childish for a 7-year-olds day dress. So I instead did the elastic in the back and sleeve areas, and pleated the front (that look is really popular right now in women's clothing, I've noticed....) So the sleeves were not so huge, and also not completely elasticized, I only did a small portion and left the rest plain. It lacked any shape so I gathered the back and did some quilt-like stitching over the pleats. I turned out looking like a boutique play dress, and most importantly she loves it!

Blake's mother was kind enough to buy me a few yards of this yummy buttery linen the last time she visited and we took a trip to Fabric Depot. I wanted to make something that covered my arms in the sun, but was flow-y and light in hot weather. I also wanted it simple, not so sophisticated that I couldn't throw it on with a pair of rubber boots and work in the garden. The pattern I had had a strange v-neck so I again modified it to have a surplice (crossover v-neck) top. I used pattern paper to remake that part of the pattern, and it worked! The elastic empire waist gives it that casual feel, and also means I didn't have to add a zipper (never have--sounds scary!!)

Although I tweaked with the fit quite a bit, even taking it apart once it was almost complete and doing it again, it is still looser that I'd hoped and not as modest either, BUT it is well suited for my at-home outdoor linen day dress. I love the detail at the shoulders, it was the first time I'd done basting and gathering so I feel like this upped my sewing skills a notch. I look forward to more dress projects in the future!

family ink

2009-07-11T00:00:00.000-07:00

it's not often we ALL sport Pre-Columbian inspired tattoos...

the official garden update

2009-07-10T21:18:00.000-07:00

remember this?

now it is this!

the first thing we ate out of our garden--the one radish that didn't bolt when it was 90 degrees: a german giant!

of course there is sweet corn....

pardon my french, but that zucchini is looking mighty erect...

oh speckled lettuce, how i love you so...you make a fun, attractive salad, yet your leaves are so well suited for my hamburgers as well...

these shelling peas tasted amazing in my last salad!

grrrrr....don't mess with mr. scarecrow!

my thoughts on potatoes: people have suggested straw or dirt to build up the potato beds, and i have had some success with dirt using simply potatoes left too long in my pantry (as opposed to "seed" potatoes.) BUT what i have found is that using straw in this particular climate leaves the plants vulnerable to slugs (oooooooh, i hate those nasty beasts!!) who easily infiltrate the mounds. so we, just last week, switched to dirt in hopes of saving our plants that we have been babying for months. unfortunately we lost one huge bed of russian banana potatoes growing since february to slugs, but i am trying to put it all behind me and look toward the future, a future filled with russets, yellows, and reds....

the beets are aaaaaalmost there, but not quite

squashes courtesy of chemynne and michael: kombocha and butternut, i believe....

its the LEGUME row! from left to right: scarlet runner beans, oregon sugar pods, kentucky wonder beans, garden and shelling peas, and favas.

not pictured are the watermelons (hope it gets hot enough to actually get some fruit), pickling cucumbers, scallions, onions, cabbages (good lord, will i ever get one that is not nibbled by those slimy beasts??), bok choy (sadly bolted before we could enjoy), parsnips, carrots, and celery.

but in other areas of the yard: blue pumpkins, B's tomatoes, garlic, plus...

a happy white sage plant

my lavender row

...and so many herbs that are out of control. mayan made this special "frog throte tea" for Blake when he lost his voice with lemon balm, sage, oregano, and mint...oh and lots and lots of LOVE she said!

Eat your vegetables!

Mayan enjoys a pea from her own little garden--is there anything so sweet?

in defense of michael

2009-07-08T14:51:00.001-07:00

i am not ashamed to admit that i have shed more than a few tears over michael jackson's death. i realize that many folks are sick of the coverage and i can relate to that--there is still a world in chaos with new developments everyday! why stop everything for a pop star?

and why am I feeling defensive of michael jackson? i do not know exactly. i am embarrassed to admit that i don't have one of his albums other than a mix CD i requested from a friend last year which i play when i do deep-cleaning house chores, like washing windows. but i do adore many of his singles--billie jean is my favorite. and i should also admit my strange "connection" to the jackson's, being that my maiden name is jackson (not to mention my middle name is katherine) and i was regularly teased in school as being related to michael jackson, the joke in later years being that i would reply "yeah, we're both white!" i guess one of the reason i am moved to write about his death is that with motherhood comes this undeniable nag from deep in ones heart that lets itself ask on such occasions "what if this were my child?" and the acknowledgment that everyone in the world is somebody's child, born of love and light, as hippie-dippy as it sounds.

i think that if anyone takes the time to understand this young boy turned massive superstar's past it would be clear where all the craziness came from. imagine yourself one of nine children in a struggling family. imagine at a young age discovering that you had a talent that set you apart from the rest. imagine your father grabbing hold of that opportunity and suddenly your life is not your own. school gets out and you have to practice for hours until your evening gig (sometimes in strip clubs), getting home late, and having to get up and start all over again. i think all of us with children out there, or even those who spend time with them, understand how critical it is to have the freedom to play and be silly, magical beings--its essential for proper development.

then imagine that suddenly your career (should a child even have a career??) as a singer and dancer in a musical group, takes off and you are adored by millions of fans. its a world that i don't think anyone can ever come close to really understanding unless you've lived it. imagine transitioning into adolescence this way. imagine that through all of this your father and manager shames you daily for your "fat nose" and then sends you out onstage under the lights in front of thousands.

developmentally speaking, it would nearly impossible for anyone under these conditions to blossom into a well-adjusted adult. by the time you do reach the age of adulthood you are literally the most famous person in the whole world and you have more money than could be fathomed. do you think you might do some strange things, like have a pet monkey? or build a fantastical world based on the beloved character peter pan, the boy who never grew up? do you think you might seek out other people who understands you (amidst all the others who just want a piece of this fame) like fellow child stars and take them out on red carpet events? do you think your behavior would always make sense to others and not be picked apart everyday by scrutinizing eyes? what kind of world would you build around yourself if you lived this life?

do you think that you might have issues with your looks and, with endless resources and very few people around you who are truly out for your best interest, feel justified in changing yourself in extreme ways? do you think its possible to handle all of this madness you would have quirks and vices and addictions that you battled?

when i decided to sit down and step away from my judgement, i began to see that this was a person who could really never grow up, who made decisions like a child, was likely motivated by childish motivations, and responded to this life in child-like ways. i wholly believe that if there had been actual sexual abuse, of which he had been accused of, evidence would have been found...children are not good at covering their wrongdoings. to me it is much more likely that the accuser had motivation to benefit from the allegations, and that all of the confusing behavior, such as sharing bed with children, was as innocent as me sharing a bed with my own children, or as innocent as children's sleep-overs--because its fun. because you can whisper and giggle and eat snacks and watch movies, before passing out. how much would you crave this normalcy if your own childhood was taken up by hard work and celebrity? do any of us that venture to make that call to REALLY know what happened? no.

but the most painful realization is how much would such accusations affect you? going from adoration to superstardom to your name becoming synonymous with "freak" or "pervert." would you worry about how this affected your children? from everything i've seen/read/heard his children were very happy, mild-mannered, home-schooled kids with a deep loving attachment to their father. that actually having their faces covered ended up working because then they could sometimes have vacations, go to the beach, the movies, and go uncovered and know one knew who they were; they could feel normal. aside from being what we all thought he was, wished he was, accused him of being, he was a dedicated daddy to three children.

and to cast aside the cloud of reputation, there is always the music--music which nearly everyone has some memory. music that influenced nearly every artist after him, and as pointed out at the public service, broke down barriers for african-americans in all industries. he softened up many homes to the acceptance of black people--his music was so irresistible that color faded from being an issue for many. this has been a massive transition over the last 50 years and you cannot deny michael influence--he was the first black person to have such a large embrace in white american homes. and now look how far we've come: we've come so far as to elect a black man into the white house. this deserves to be acknowledged. yes, you could say, its just a pop star. it's just music. but music changes lives. and michael changed everything.

it should also be noted that michael literally set the records for generosity to charities. compassion and generousness is many times more intact in children than adults.

the fact is, we share celebrities, we all own a little bit of them, we all feel connected over "knowing them." they are out there for us to idolize, or to throw stones at. we unleash our opinions on them, our judgments on them, our praise on them--sometime all in one breath. celebrities are a part of our culture, they are sacrificial lives, subject to our love and hate, whether or not it is deserved. and especially musicians: they pull us together, they fire us up, they speak into our hearts, we have a mostly one-sided connection with them of strange depth, and at them same time, they are merely people, just like us. equally sacred, equally holy, equally deserving of compassion and the benefit of the doubt.

one truth has been revealed to me as i have watched this event unfold, one thing that i didn't not know i felt in my heart until now and that is this: i do not believe in speaking ill of the dead. it could too easily be ourselves. it is too easy to be misunderstood or to be focused on in negative light. we all have regret, we all have issues and struggles, we all have weaknesses--it pains me to think that people would choose put those into focus when i am not around to defend myself. michael died just on the cusp of making a comeback where he hoped to shed the nickname that plagued him, "wacko jacko" and to again be considered an entertainer first, to bring joy to audiences through the power of music, after years of laying low, focusing on his family, and trying to overcome the shame of scandal.

as al sharpton said, directly to michael's three grieving children: "Your daddy was NOT strange, but it was strange what he had to put up with."

is all of this memorializing taking a selective look at one's life, ignoring the bad and glorifying the life of this star--is it right? YES. i think so. when i die, when anyone dies, they want their image to be properly dusted, cleaned, and repaired, and viewed as a whole, not to be turned over have all of your chips and cracks examined. i vow from this day forward to give everyone who passes from this world that much-deserved respect.

i leave you with the tribute that i found so moving (and not just because i listen to the george michael record with this song all the time!) from tuesdays service, performed by stevie wonder:

'Merica Day

2009-07-04T20:21:00.000-07:00

Isadore, Mayan, and I made our own versions of the flag:

Look at what good 'Mericans we are with our guns!

I am pretty sure our children get more beautiful everyday....

Love to our family and friends--hope it was a pleasant day for all!

Love, Mama Nomad

2009-06-24T19:53:00.001-07:00

sunday, in two parts

2009-06-22T13:11:00.000-07:00

part one: father's day, in downtown pdx

hello hulk

we finally visited portland's only jewish deli, kenny and zuke's

quick stop at buffalo exchange

taken by blake

blake has a car now, makes life much easier. isadore helped wash it that afternoon...

part two: chemynne's 40th birthday at mt. tabor park

c's friend from ny, kat, and her partner, parker, had just flown in, plus daena and oliver came (with some big news!!!)--the happy group shot

the pointer

a birthday kiss from athena to mama

swingin'

a solisticy moment

blowing out the candles on the brownies--happy birthday, c!

i love this sweet moment

taking the girls to the bathroom on their brownie high

can't forget the Goob

2009-06-20T20:09:00.000-07:00

didn't have any recent picture of baby Geo so here are some Goobie-shots to satisfy your cravings:

he looks so different (and CUTE!!) with teeth...

two things here: 1) the HAIR; curls to DIE for, just like his papa, and 2) note the shirt: we all took turns decorating his shirt, which says "George!" on the back. him and isadore like to jam on the piano together.

hes' all oer the place now, he is only ever still when he is nursing (and barely even then) or sleeping. my little guy on the move! here i am trying to steal a moment with him and he's already thinking about his next move:

but finally here is, in Isadore's opinion, the best $0.50 i've ever spent. she has a thing for the Incredible Hulk, although she's only ever seen three minutes of the old 70's show with Lou Feriggno--somehow it made quite an impression!

we're hanging in there

2009-06-17T16:47:00.001-07:00

nomad week (or two) in review

2009-05-26T18:06:00.000-07:00

last weekend (the one before memorial day) we visited the beach that is most directly west of us, Ecola Beach in Cannon Beach. look how big and handsome this boy is getting! he pretty much ate sand and threw fits everytime we saved him from face-planting in the tide pools--he's officially a toddler!

they have great tidepools there; plenty of starfish and anenomes...it was little chilly but it didn't stop the girls from wearing their swim suits...
then last wednesday, blake was invited to lecture at the portland bead society. we came along for support--it went great! blake had those ladies rollin' and everyone gushed over the kids.
he spoke about bead use in tribal culture, and brought many examples from africa mostly, although he also talked about pre-columbian examples, native american, and asian. after the talk people were able to look closely at the jewelry and the maasai book, asked him questions, shared their own stories.
the next day i took mayan out the our second Homeschool Day at the evergreen space museum in mcminnville. they host homeschool kids from 9:30 to 2 with a lecture, workshops, and games all focused around one theme--this time it was astronomy. here is the big inflatable planetarium she is about to go into.
so i have recently read this book about the effect of anxious parents on their growing children. at first i poo-poohed it, but as i read further it made a lot of sense. i started to realize that the kids need more experiences without blake and i hovering over them. especially mayan who is old enough now to figure out many things on her own, and needs to know that she can problem-solve, and succeed in new situations without her ever-present attachment figures. its time for us to be that "voice in her head" or image in her mind, after the many years of nurturing. so in that vein, since she'd been to one of these before, i let her do the day on her own, only meeting her for lunch break. when i told her i would be doing this she hugged my legs and said "thank you thank you thank you...i am going to feel like such a BIG KID!" she had a blast, but when i went to pick her up, with my newfound focus on de-hovering, i saw this and had to take a picture: nearly every child had parent at their side, jumping in and assisting with every craft and activity. last time that was ME!
so to continue this, the day after i sent mayan into trader joes by herself to pickup her special rice bread (it was the only thing i needed there.) she was so jazzed about it--i gave her instructions which she focused on intently then set her off on her mission while i stayed outside with the kids. here she comes running back with her bag of bread.
oh, the look (and feel) of success! i have noticed mayan's confidence growing, and myself have been more aware of my shift toward clinging to the idea of "my babies" and my resistance to them getting older, and being able to find joy in my children becoming more independent. it's been a very positve shift for me and blake to make.

here is mayan working at her bead shop on a custom order from myself. she and blake built a special store-front for her business and she is open saturdays, noon to six. she is building quite a customer base....an entrepeneur like her dad!

sweet George, his hair get more and more delicious every day!
blake organized his office this weekend and gave some attention to his special Star Trek room...looking very good! (i HAVE mentioned this room before, haven't I?)

fast-forward to today...today was about beauty and organization. i wandered into my sewing room and began sorting through the many boxes of clothing.....and suddenly my whole day had past. the kids clothes are sorted: baby items, girls stuff size 6 months to 3 years, girls stuff size 4-6, and finally a box for George clothes, and also items to be returned to other people. i discovered soem things i had not seen in a very long time, especially some great vintage pieces--for those that don't know have a pretty huge vintage clothing collection, although most of which i will not ever be able to wear again unless i lose thirty pounds...i am clinging to the clothes, as i cling to the hope!

the roses are blooming and i made this lovely arrangement for our table.
last night i tried to make hamburger buns from scratch but sof course, i struggled with the yeast and they did not rise properly, so they turned out like denser mini-buns. tasty though! for lunch today i used them to make tuna sliders. cute, huh?

Questioning

2009-05-20T14:40:00.000-07:00

In many ways, I am attracted to controversy. I liked to rock the boat in high school with my teachers--for instance, when given a ceiling tile to paint in health class I wanted to do one about safe sex and they said "NO!"...so I snuck it outside and painted a big, red picture of a Trojan condom wrapper and installed it back into the ceiling. I like to surprise people in their perception of me--maybe have a certain look, but then say something unexpected when I opened my mouth. In college, this was with a very punk rock look...at bible study. And the obvious, my choice to bring home a man tattooed and pierced from top to bottom to my family...and then marry him and have lots of babies.

The thing is, once you do something that is considered "fringe" or "alternative" and it picks up steam, it becomes mainstream. And once it is mainstream, I feel the need to question it all over again with a more critical eye. My biggest blessing/curse is that I am a natural diplomat--given any circumstance, I can see both sides. (This can be very frustrating to my husband who alwasy wants me to have his back;) The blessing part aspect of this is that, even if I find a way that suits me, I can (usually) easily get to a place where I can respect the choice of someone who does things the opposite way. I can hear and understand a theory behind a certain type of lifestyle or choice and not feel threatened by it. On the flip side, this can many times put me on the fence. I especially feel this way about politics, beacuse the choices made do not just affect the individual but a whole population. Often times, when those ballot measure booklets come in the mail, I read them and think "Well, that makes sense..." and then "Of course, this side makes a good point, too...." Most of the time I can't make up my mind and toss my ballot into the recycle bin.

Sometimes on the fence is a lonely place to be. Its natural for groups and friendships to form around common ideals. This is certainly true of mothering tribes, who in the past decade seem to have become so polarized between "the natural way" (which somehow leaks over into more areas than just things like birth and breastfeeding, but also commonalities like politics and parenting) and the "mainstream"...which is funny, and maybe this is because I live in the bubble that is the Republic of Portland, but it seems that "natural" IS mainstream now. And as said before, once something becomes mainstream, I feel the need to question it, to challenge it. Suddenly, I feel outside of the circle that I'd been so inside of. I do find it a challenge to only focus my new found scrutiny on only my own life with having it spill over into other relationships, but I find it doable because of my diplomatic tendancies. I can say, "this isn't working for me anymore, but respect that it might still be working for you". Making a move like this makes me search deeper for those relationships that are not merely built on "doing things alike" but on mutual respect and trust and openness. Sometimes I find that the easiest people to talk to about parenting are non-parents, or to talk about politics to people who are less-informed--their ideas are not so cemented, so they are receptive.

But I wonder where this "need to be different" stems from for me. Relationships are importnat to me, and sometimes I feel that this boat rocking puts them in jeopardy. I don't think I do this on a purposeful (albeit unconscious) level. Does this make me seem wishy-washy? I mean, to abandon ones ideals seems like something a very unstable person might do. I don't feel unstable...yet I am often teetering on a fence:) Maybe I am just impressionable. I was at the library the other day and I picked up a book, that seems to at first glance be in line with "the way I do things." But on further inspection, I could see the author was challenging them instead. Not one to be close-minded, I took it home and found that many of her arguments not only made sense, but I could see examples in my own life. Suddenly, my world-in-my-head was set aspin (I think I just made that word up--it's like afloat, but more spin-y than float-y)--theories about attachment, education, and society that were banging against previously popular views. Some of these opposing views I could reconcile, somehow finding a way for both to live in harmony in my brain. Others that may at one time been so unwelcome in the circle...looking very, very sensible to me now.

It maybe that I was looking for something new and fresh. Or that I am continuing to search for a place where my true values fit in--or that my values continue to change and mature every year. One thing I have learned about life, whether its parenting or politics or whatever, is that often times something look really great on paper, but turns out very different when put into action. I suppose we all put things into action differently as well, what functions well for one family or one country just doesn't translate the same for another. Right now, besides finding what is right for my family, I am also trying to find how my constant questioning can be a strength for me and not a weakness--and to explore what relationships make me feel safe enough to question without being judged, and who also will not feel judged by my questioning.

Was that vague enough for you? LOL. If you are still following along, do you ever feel this way or have any thoughts??

for mother's day

2009-05-10T09:19:00.000-07:00

The mamas who make my world go 'round:

(and a sweet shout-out to the few i don't have pictures of...You ladies ROCK)

filling in the gap

2009-04-29T16:27:00.000-07:00

So, let's begin where we left off, shall we? I beleive that was the prepping of the barn site. Well, thanks to the magic of pre-fab, the barn went up easy as 1....

...2...
...3!
Blake didn't waste any time getting inside and building the new coop. Ah, it smelled so wonderful inside when it first went up--no particle board, just wonderful fresh wood! And the loft is such a cool space where I see the kids sneaking away to read books on lazy afternoons....
Soon after the project was finished Chemynne and Michael (and Athena, of course) arrived in Portland with their whole lives crammed into a Budget moving truck. We were there that rainy evening to greet them and feed them burritos. Yes, I finally found them a good place--quiet, centrally located neighborhood, hardwoods on the living-level, with a big loft for the office and a HUGE basement. Even a nice backyard with garden beds. It was a close call but the right place became available just in the nick of time. The kitchen is a bit crammed but, dude, compared to everythign else I'd seen it was a clear winner. And its right between our house and Nomad so we've been able to drop in a lot and help them settle in.
Yay! The brother and sister unit are together in the same city again! (This is taken at the cute park 2 blocks away from their new house)
Then Blake's mom came for a visit from the East Coast. She had oodles of gifts and actitives planned for the kids (of which we only squeezed in half even though she extended her stay) so many a good memory was made, which is a wonderful thing after some years of disconnect.
Her big treat? She wanted to get us a piano, so the girls could take lessons. Piano lessons were a very important part of her childhood and she called this "a gift of the heart" to be able to pass on the tradition. Blake and I can't play but it sure looks beautiful in my living room doesn't it?? Its also very cool to see who comes through our door and can sit down and play something.
How cute is this??
After she headed back home, we had a really nice stretch of good weather. Geo got to feel grass in his toes and work on his walking skills with Papa.
And I spent many days getting the sod up for our new garden patch. I shouldn't say "patch,"
it makes it sound small--its actually 30 by 10 feet. It was hard, dirty work, let me tell you but I finally worked out my system after the first few rows, removing the sod in 1 foot by 3 foot strips. After "cutting" them out with my shovel I'd flip the strip over and remove as much dirt as I could; the kids would come and collect some of the many worms unearthed by the process and feed them to the chickens.

I absolutely cannot wear garden gloves when I work in the yard, I can't feel what I'm doing--and really there is no better tool than your own hand (Korin, I can HEAR you making a dirty joke out of this--lol!)...garden spades and hand rakes, be damned.
We were then ready for some ducklings. We hope to have some for meat and maybe a few for eggs. Unfortunately, three out of the six we bought died (don't ask me why, I am clueless) but the three that survived are already huge. I can't tell if they are boys or girls so I am not sure now what their purpose will be yet. We hope to at least put one in our freezer at some point...
Easter, or something like it, came around. We had coincidently invited over some friends and C and M that Sunday for homemade pizza (Oliver, your dough was so awesome!!), so we decided to make it festive and dye some eggs, going with the old skool Paas kit method. I let the kids decorate most of them and Blake insisted I save one for him. His atheist/Looney Tunes humor: "JC killed the Wabbit."
It was Athena's first egg hunt and C and I got really into--the kids has so much fun albeit it was indoors since it was rainy outside.
Step two for the garden bed. Michael had a really brilliant suggestion on how to amend the garden without tilling so following his instructions we had some mushroom compost and topsoil delivered from Mt. Scott Fuel Company.
(Notice the new ultra-private modern side fencing courtesy of B)
C and I talk/exchange seeds while the men do the really dirty work outside hauling the dirt to the new beds. Chemynne has a rockin' seed collection imported from Bend...
So after a layer of straw, goes the mixture of soil and compost. I will have three long beds that will rotate every year--legumes, brassicas, and potato/root veggies...lots of lettece and onions thrown in wherever.
The men tend the gorgeous mounds of earth. After this we watered it like crazy, and the next day I got the first crops planted. Sooooo exciting!
Hmmm....what else?

Oh, Blake did three consecutive lectures at the Portland Art Museum, basically educating the docents about the new exhibit, so when they give tours they know what to say about the adornment pieces. Mayan accompanied him and was such a young lady, taking notes and chatting with the docents. They are such a good team:)
The difficult part was that because of the size of the room the docents had to come in groups, so he had to give the same lecture three times in a row. He said he was on fire for the first and by the last he was dragging. But most of the docents were very excited and receptive, and the whole experience is another "feather in the cap" as they say. I am so proud of him;)

Okay, readers, you are offically caught up. Any questions??

Happy Goobie Day

2009-04-27T16:15:00.000-07:00

Can someone explain to me how this happens? In the blink of an eye, your sweet, pulsing bundle of love-embodied-in-life goes from this:

...to this?Its almost to much for a mother to bear. Of course, you want to see your children grow and develop and succeed, but can't at least the last child stay a baby forever?

To distract ourselves from the shock and creeping melancholy of the fact that Georgie is ONE today, we took the kids to the zoo to frolick. In some ways Geo is still a baby, like when I see him here, happily hanging in the backpack, taking in the world with his eyes only.

But then when he is set on the ground and his explorer is set free, I am reminded that he is now a little boy. Look out, Goobie takes on the world!!

...or at least a carrot stick;)

Ah, my family. Dark silhouettes again the blue glow of life. Nothing stops. A mother can only desperately try and keep up...be open, be available, be observant...and take lots of pictures.

last call, folks!

2009-04-22T15:26:00.000-07:00

wow. i had no idea how many people were quietly reading Milk and Ink. its been very exciting watching the email come in--many oregon and pacific nw moms, but a handful in the mid-west and even...get ready for this...one from denmark! how cool is that?? ladies, thank you for reading, please don't stop now that i've made you feel like exposed stalkers; hopefully that has not stripped the thrill from it...:-) no, from what i gather its not so much about "peeping" as much as just inspiration in daily life, and maybe a chuckle or two. and that i am happy to provide.

so since i still have at lease one or two people emailing my everyday i am going to give it a bit longer. "we ask that your please bear with us..."

Privacy

2009-04-14T15:38:00.000-07:00

Don't believe for a second that I have abandoned my blog. Or even that it has slipped my mind--as a matter of fact, I think of it often. I have lots of ideas for great posts and OODLES of adorable pictures to show off from the past 6 weeks. But there has been one big looming issue that has stood between you and me and those yet-to-be-written greats and that is: PRIVACY.

This blog has grown and attracted a wider audience than I had imagined. What began as a way to share the growth and antic of our little ones with far-off family and a creative springboard for my thoughts and inspirations, somehow trickled out of the village and into a larger body of water. And that is not necessarily a bad thing; in fact I love the idea of other moms that I have not met, in various locales-not-within-driving-distance reading my blog and smiling over my slices-of-life. Some of my posts are well-suited for sharing with a larger population. But this, as you all know, is the world wide web, and I don't just post about funny stories or my favorite purchases, I post openly about my family and my sweet, dear children. But this all came to light around the time we were building our barn and working harder toward our self-sustaining urban homestead, and for the tenth time, a brand new client walks into Nomad and says to Blake, "I found you online....oh, and I read your wife's blog...your family is SO cute!" I am sure most of these are harmless and fascinating people, but Blake, who is uber-private by nature just cringes at the thought of our lives being out there for all to see and intertwined with his business personna, and rightfully so. A quick google search myself found that to bring up Nomad the business, also brought up lil' ole Mama Nomad and her Milk and Ink.

I really don't have the time and energy to keep two separate blogs, one for close persons, and one for the public, nor do I want to--I like the ecclectic mix of my content and don't want to compromise my candor or the blog's flexibility. So that leaves me with one choice and that is to make it private and limit my readers.

Don't worry if you read my blog and we have never met--again, I am not looking to shut out everyone who is a stranger. I just need to know WHO is reading and be able to officially invite you to my blog. From what I understand this will create and extra step in order to view my blog, some sort of log-in process. Honestly I don't really know how it will work until I "go live" with it. So all you need to do, if you would like to stay with me so far (and I promise once this is settled I'll be back to your regularly-scheduled-blogging-program) please send me an email and I'll add you to my "invite" list which I will activate on about a week (giving everyone out there time to see this "public post.") Please, don't be shy if we have not met or if you read my blog and I have NO IDEA (you, lurker, you!)--just tell me how you found me, where you live, and why you love me so much. Haahaa, just kidding about the last part. Just be sure to email me from the address that you would be using to log-in. Here is where you should contact me (obviously, no spaces and use the "@" and "."symbol instead of the actual word, you get it, right?):

p e r l i n g i e r i

a t

g m a i l

d o t

c o m

Just so you know this message will self-destruct at the end of the week. *Kablooey!*

PS FAMILY NEED NOT DO THIS 'CAUSE YOU WILL BE GETTING AN INVITE ANYWAY!