Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Mama Nomad's Favorite Baby Items


Now that I am a mother of three, I am offically a bonafide baby EXPERT. Haaaahahaaa....no, but really, I have over these 6 years of mothering discovered some key items that have beloved to us, amidst a sea of crappy (and many times uneccessary) baby products. Most of these things I discovered the first time around, and always kept coming back to.

My criteria for a classic Nomad Baby item is that it must be useful (duh), be healthy for my baby (non-toxic), support the mother-child relationship or family unit, and also it must be visually pleasing. Anyone that knows me, knows I am very aesthetic--I simply like beautiful things. Baby items are no exception, and often my senses are literally offended by the current style of mainstream baby products: obnoxious characters and colors and fabrics, gawdy plastic toys, Disney and Sesame Street slapped on every binky and pair of trainer pants. Babies are so stinkin' cute when they are born, so pure and delicious from their fuzzy heads, down their creamy rolls to their edible, sweet-smelling toes. It is a joy to just gaze at and examine their faces which are always an exact blend of their parents...I find most baby clothes and nursery items downright distracting from the beauty and glorious presence of a newborn baby.

Parenthood takes an enormous amount of practice and the tricky part is that as soon as you think you master one thing, your baby has moved on to another. Now that I am doing this the third time around, its become more clear what most babies need is relatively simple: boob, sleep, boob, play, boob, sleep, boob, play, boob, sleep, warm body, more boob....all the while kept fresh/dry and appropriately clothed. Since the beginning of time, across every land and culture, babies have had these same needs in order to thrive. In a culture of capitalism and consumer culture, we have TOO MUCH to choose from, and a sickening excess of product that goes way beyond our needs. The process of which I have adopted a beloved baby product is that I likely felt a need for it first, then I researched what was available and considered recommendations, purchased and finally put it to the test. Other times it was a gift from someone that was pulled out and used again and again. And finally other things were anticipated, before the baby and rightly so, as opposed to those things you are told you need but somehow never even make it out of the packaging. (Hello, Craigslist.) I feel confident that anything that has made it on my list (save for one) would make a great gift to anyone you know who is expecting and it would not sadly sit in a nursery closet.

So without further blah-blah-blah I bring you......



Mama Nomad's List of Favorite Baby Items:



1) The Ergo Baby carrier



There are a lot of carriers out there, my friends. Seemingly endless. This carrier is the absolute best money we ever spent on a baby carrier. Why? It's crazy convenient to toss your child onto your back when busy doing housework, running errands or out in crowds of people, giving your child a safe place to view the world. Many carriers do this but the Ergo is the most comfortable and more importantly its Papa-friendly--it's the only one Blake will use! He like the click straps, and even though I think the mei tai carriers (like the Babyhawk) are more attractive, he can't manage the long fabric tie straps. We find this item to be essential to traveling with your baby--airports, concerts, festivals, stores with lots of stuff where your kid will get over stimulated, hiking, exploring the city....you name it, we've done it with an Ergo. Mayan saw the Red Hot Chili Peppers and A Perfect Circle on Papa's back thanks to the Ergo. Here are some photos of us out-and-about using the carrier:
(Seattle)

(cool enough for a dad to wear in a tattoo shop in SF even!)


(Cancun)


(Tulum)


(on a ship in San Diego)


(for comparison, this is the Mei Tai-style carrier, the Babyhawk)

While I know there are various carries that can be done using this carrier--front carry, hip carry, and newborn with an insert--I find this to be best suited for the back carry with babies five months and up. Also, there are other carriers that follow this design now but "back in the day" this was the bees knees and I am pretty loyal gal. They have improved the design over the years so the price has also gone up. I think 5 years ago I bought ours for $80, and now they are $105...worth every penny.


2) Padraig slippers



I could not come close to counting the times people have stopped me and asked about the adorable sheepskin slippers on my babies tootsies. Blake and I discovered these on our first trip to Vancouver BC when Mayan was 14 months. We bought them in a tucked away kids shop on Granville Island. The bottoms are leather and inside is snuggly, breathable sheepskin, with a crocheted top that has a great granny-like charm. When she grew out of those I had to find the next size up (now George wears them!), and I had a hard time finding them online, but then then they picked up in popularity and more and more US stores started carrying them. I have a pair in every size from newborn to Mayan's size, and I like the cream and grey tones best. They make them for grownups too......

3)the famous-on-my-blog Hammock



How I wiiiiish I had this for my girls! The first time I saw a baby sleeping hammock was at my friend Jennifer's house--she had discovered the Amby and hoped it would solve all her fussy baby woes...I'm not sure it lived up to her expectations, but it sure looked like a beautiful, blissful sleeping cacoon. The downside to the Amby is that it hangs from a stand and takes up floor space--it has a "contraption" look about it. Then my friend Breana had a hammock at her place when I met her that a friend had loaned her. It hung from the ceiling and had a gorgeous wood yolk that the fabric tied to. They loved it so much they made one of their own, and that is the one passed on to me. You could buy any fabric to use but the purple Batik works so well, we kept it, and you can untie it and wash it anytime. I find it works better with a boppy pillow inside to create a curved bed. What is so great about this concept--and in the book Babies Celebrated there are numerous pictures of different tribal peoples and their hanging baby cradles--is that it keeps baby off the floor (out of danger, you know if you lived in the jungle and were worried about snakes or wild dogs attacking your babe), when they stir in their sleep it creates a soothing bouncing motion, all the while the baby can hang amongst the hustle and bustle of daily life (better to train babies to sleep that way rather than only in quiet places.)

4)Under the Nile crib blanket


Under the Nile is my hands down favorite organic clothing source--super basic pieces in the highest quality Eyptian organic cotton. Before I had Isadore I ordered this blanket, in that search-for-the-perfect-swaddling-blanket. It wasn't at all what I had expected, not really the size or stretch for swaddling at all, but turned out to be an amazing treat. The organic cotton sherpa is soooo delightful, like fleece but not made from plastic. Totally unbleached (also available in green) with a simple trim--just the way I like my baby's things. Isadore ended up being premature and tiny compared to Mayan, released from the hospital just as Fall hit, so I kept her swaddled and snuggled under this 90% of the time. I would also fold it up to use a sling insert and used it to cover her when she was in the carseat. Washed easily and stayed beautiful. I gave my belly-buddy Amy one, too, for her babe that was due the same time George-Ephraim was. If I had the dough, I would buy one for my king sized bed--they come in all sizes.

5)The natural rubber pacifier



I am not really a pacifier mama, but I do think it is a very personal decision. I used one briefly with Mayan in the early months when I was overwhelmed with her insatiable need for sucking--she was eating every 45 minutes and half the time it was just for comfort. It helped greatly on our trip to New York City when she was 10 weeks old, where it just wasn't convenient to whip out the boob on the subway or during a cab ride (althought I did whip it out plently of other places like the Guggenheim and FAO Schwarts on 5th Avenue...) but I had it phased out by the time she was 6 months (the magical time where many new moms get their bearings.) Isadore never used one. I did not plan on using one for George until Blake and I were preparing for our first time out alone to see Nick Cave, and the grandparents were going to stay home and watch the kids. I was worried that Geo would wake up while I was gone and thought that if they popped a pacifier in his mouth, he would be none-the-wiser and go back down. I went out the day of our date, to Mother Natures on Clinton Street and bought this european all-natural rubber one that I had seen on my last visit. He ended up sleeping the whole time we were gone without a stirring. Phew.

But then the binky was there. And eventually, I gave into it. Let me just say that pacifiers are like heroin--one hit and its a slippery slope to addiction. This is the one item on my list that I would NEVER give to someone as a gift because like I said it a very perosnal decision, and should be thought through thoroughly--not to be decided in the middle of the night when you are sleep deprived and out of ideas. One time is all it takes. Babies obviously need to suck, they find it very soothing and the mere action can at times knock even the most upset child into slumber. It makes since that since we are equipped with the perfect pacifier (nipples) and babies have such a great need for it there is a built-in relationship there, therefore we should question any substitutions. But in our modern world, not every mom can offer the nipple all the time. SO in conclusion, blah blah blah, this is the most natural pacifier out there:

All Natursutten pacifier are made from pure, natural rubber from the tree Hevea brasiliensi. No artificial color. No chemicals softener; parabens, PVC, phtalates and BPA (bisphenol-A) free.

Plus its the least obnoxious looking one--no dancing Elmo, no pastels, just a straight up rubber substitute for a nipple.

6)Viburcol



This recommedation came to us from Blake's beloved Dr. in San Diego. We call it our "big guns" and if you are a believer in homeopathy, its the shiiiiiz. Kind of a cover-all for babies when they are freaking out--restlessness, teething, and minor infection with or without fever. It comes in these handy little plastic vials that can be carried around in your purse. I usually try a homeopathic for my children before resorting to over-the-counter pharmacueticals. It seems to just give their sensitive bodies a nudge to self-healing, before trying a true drug with a lot of muscle. Most times after giving a dose or two of Viburcol, my babies settle down and fall asleep.

7) A Silver Rattle





What ever happened to silver rattles? It is considered a classic heirloom gift, can be engraved and kept for life...plus babies LOVE them. This was Mayan's first toy she ever gave notice too, as a tiny newborn. They are shiny, make a sweet noise, and the cool, slick metal feels great on the gums. Ours was given to us by our dear friends Walter and Bruce who picked it up on a trip to Peru, and we've let all our babies play with it until they get older and we stash it away somewhere special. Pewter rattles are a more affordable option as well.

8)New Native baby carrier

This was the first sling I used and remains the last sling I've used (but I can't say I've ever looked quite this romantic using it). Simple, no patterns, no rings or adjustments--you just buy it in your size and that is that. Isadore practically lived in this sling for her first few months, only peeling it away to change her diaper, and then tucking her back in securely in what became known as the "outer womb." This is the optimal way to nurture newborns but especially preemies. When you wear your baby in a pouch sling out in public, people are much less likely to reach out and get their germy hands on your sweet babe. I will say though that this type of slinging takes practice, and even though I attempted it with Mayan I did not fully master it until my second. Here are pics of the two youngest in their "wombs":



9)The baby pilot cap

I read somewhere that colder climates, babies should keep a hat on thier head for at least the first year. Keeping their bodies warm takes up precious baby energy and so much heat is lost out of the top of the head. I loved Isadore's so much that I framed her first preemie sized hat along with her 4 month baby pictures. I had them in wool, fleece, and cotton (Hannah Andersson makes the nicest cotton ones at a great price.) and my friend Korin knit a striped one for Georgie as well. I think babies look old-fashioned and cute as hell in them, and Blake calls them Amelia Earhart hats.

10)Three Men in a Tub

This list would not be complete without my favorite wooden toy. It's so simple, like something a Papa would carve for his baby if fathers still, you know, whittled wood in their spare time. What I love about the Three Men in a Tub is that babies love to teethe on the little men--they have little ridges on them--and they are small enough for a tiny hand to grip. Then as they get older and are sitting up, they can rock the boat and knock the men out. When they get older still and develop more hand-eye coordination they can place the men inside.

11) 7th Generation diapers
All told, I have cloth diapered half of the time, and used disposables the other half in my mothering journey. Cloth diapers are again SO PERSONAL and the choices are overwhelming--a lot has to do with budget, who is using them, and the shape of your baby. So I instead will give my endorsment for the best disposable on the market. These diapers fit my criteria to a T: they are healthier for babies (no chlorine is used), they are so simple looking (some call them "whole wheat" diapers), and they hold a great amount without leaking. I tried the other natural diapers once (Tushies) and they suuuuucked. I never went back. Yes, they are still made with gel, but that is why I have tried to use cloth as well. Always looking for that perfect balance in this modern world....

12) Unbleached (Indian) Prefolds


Why it took me so long to discover these, I don't know. But even a non-cloth diapering mother should have a stack of these around. I lay them under the baby when changing him, to give him some naked butt time and protect the bed/floor. They are the first thing I gave when spit up or vomitting occurs. They can be layed into a diaper cover, or pinned/snappis and used with a wool soaker. I made a bunch of mama pads out of them by shaping them like a normal menstrual pad and topping it with flannel and fleece. And best of all when they get "retired", they make the best cleaning rags on the planet. They run only about a $1.25 each, and are diaper service quality--they hold up much better than bleached "chinese" prefolds because the bleaching process really stresses the fibers. This would make a really smart (and affordable) gift to give a new mom, and if you really wanted to stoke her out wash them a few times first to help them reach their full absorbancy.


*BONUS ITEM*
Best toddler item:

Finally, this isn't really a newborn item but I wanted to include it somehow. I've been asked before by non-moms what a good gift is to give a 1 or 2 year old. I can tell you that hands-down the gift that excites babies of that age and will be used for possibly the next 10 years, supports healthy living and encourges the best kind of imaginitive play is SILK PLAY SCARVES. It will not fail and even if the child has some already, there can never be enough. You can buy them by "seasonal" color sets, and in different sizes. The starry sky one is a big hit. Younger babies play peek-a-boo and love the feel of the soft silk, then as they grow can wear them as capes, dresses, pirate scarves.....I've seen kids use them as "water" in their play scenes or build forts or make them into slings to carry their dollies.....

Sarah's Silks are very popular and easy to find but are made in China and so if you would like to support a work-at-home mother in the states, try going to Etsy.com and searching for "playsilks" to find one dyed in the USA with lots of love.

*ANOTHER BONUS*
Best toy catalog:

The holidays are coming and that means relatives buying gifts for your children. A few years ago we decided to send out catalogs to our family members that we knew wanted to purchase gifts--but we feel money is wasted if the gifts are not something that we would personally choose for our children, gifts that reflect our values of health, sustainability, and imagination. This became our favorite catalog of all. We could order a few, circle what was appropriate for our kids and then pass them on. We found that our family enjoyed seeing the large collection classic, well-made toys that Rosie Hippo offered. Check them out and you'll see--I prefer looking through the actual catalog which you can request through their website.



So, readers, what are YOUR favorite baby items? (even if you don't have kids I am sure you've bought gifts for some loved ones....) Feel free to comment here or write your own post!

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Tonight we were...'Merkins

the strangest thing happened tonight....our family sat down to a home-cooked meal (that part is normal) not around our dining room table, like we have for nearly every single meal for the past...gosh, who knows. tonight we sat down in front of....the television. and don't think it didn't strike us as only strange to US, and not to the majority of what we call Merkins (Americans.) i must admit it felt very strange at first, to be sitting in a comfortable swivel rocker while balancing my plate on my knee with my wine perced on Grandma Hedwig's side table. but as soon as i hit "play" on the remote and our family movie started it felt oddly familiar and downright pleasurable.
(the blue glow)

and the fare could not have been more Merkin. meatloaf and mashed potatoes. i swear i did not plan this, it was merely a coincidence.


what movie, you may ask, could pull this faithful 'round-the-table family to park their asses in front of the tube for their first family-movie-with-dinner night? the answer, my friends, is a little movie called Wall-E.

Wall-E was worth it. Call it a Sci-Fi for children. it borrows, like most science fiction does, from A.I. and Blade Runner. its an adorable Pixar-Disney (those bastards finally got my money, damn it and maybe a teeny-tiny ounce of my respect) film about a trash compacting robot left behind on Earth to clean up the toxic waste dump that was once a bustling human city. 700 years before, the people of earth had to bail on a giant space "cruise" ship to escape the poisonous reckage our consumption brought upon the planet. the whole operation was funded by the mega-conglomerate Buy'n'Large who basically over the course of 7 centuries had turned the human race into obese, technological-dependant idiots who never step fat foot off their personal hover-chairs. and how one small sprout can spark the promise and determination of the human spirit which is all but extinct. it is a sobering, albeit comically dramatic, look at the path of our greed and insatiable consumerism if we indeed need to hit rock bottom to turn things around. its a gem, people, a gem.

and obviously why a family-movie night was in order. if there were more movies like this that i could really get behind, then we'd do it more often. but most movies made for children are crap, through my motherly lens, absolute crap.


adding the perfect ending to our night, i wiped my tears and we cleared our plates, contemplating the delicate balance of science, technology and the simplicity LIFE at its core, and blake went to close the chicken coop door. he came back with THIS:



we've had our hens for just under 2 days and already our first egg! we were expecting them to take some time to adjust, but i guess we;ve made at least one of them feel at home!



sometimes all it takes for one to feel connected to "the circle" and inspired to do well for the benefit of humankind and mother nature, is to hold a freshly laid egg straight from a chickens butt. and with that, i bid you goodnight.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Another Nomad Week in Review

Still no sign of Baby Nermie, even though we did have some Craigslist teases. Humper continues to be very clingy after losing both of his animal pals, and is treating his depression by binging and purging on pond grasses.



Blake and Mayan turned a portion of Blake's office into a special Star Trek zone, complete with his vintage Star Trek toy collection, blue walls, and spacey mid-century chairs.

Georgie Boy is basically crawling, and getting from one side of a room to the other in a flash with an army crawl. He's got the cross-lateral motion figured out but keeps his belly low. Now we are on constant "choking hazard" patrol and I have to sweep and vacuum nearly everyday.
Isadore shows him how it's done.
Blake is really into coin collecting again, and Mayan (naturally) has followed suit. Her first project is collecting the State quarters...of the ones that are already out, she only has about 12 to go!
"Oh keep looking at me, I'm so cuuuute, and drooly!"
I have been meaning to make an apple pie forevs and finally busted one out. This is where I pretend that my camera can take good pictures like the pictures on the new food blog BeanPlate. The pie turned out really, really good though!

"Look at me, I'm so handsome!!" Geo started eating rice cereal with bananas in the morning with the girls.
I realized that for as many family members read this blog, I don't post pics of the kids all that often so here's a goodie of all three:
Baking with mah ladies. I finally found a decent recipe for chocolate cupcakes that Mayan can eat.
In addition to crawling and eating, Geo is also sitting up so now he can really "play" with sister.


Other events this week included a terrifying trip out to Washougal to pick up chickens, just me and Is and Geo. The ride out was a white knuckler complete with freeway traffic, heavy rain, darkenss, fog patches, hydroplaning, getting lost on windy narrow backwoods roads, and having crazy good old boys on my ass honking at me for not driving fast enough under these conditions. To top it off the chicken guy couldn't find 2 of the chickens and told me we'd have to go find them in the dark and rain on his 24 acres. I passed on that, so the whole drive was a complete waste. And that was the short version....

Also Mayan took her first crochet lesson on Thursday thanks to her Avia.

Finally on Friday, I got to out to dinner with my wonderful friends for a joint birthday dinner (Joi's is the 9th and mine the 20th) at Cava on Foster and it was FREAKING AWESOME. The food was super tasty (they use no soy and make their fries in rice oil!) and they put us all in their party room so we got to move around and be loud and use their iPod dock. There was about 12 of us there and it was just a great night. I'm a lucky lady.

Okay, off the thrift shop with the family. Stay tuned this week for my post about my favorite baby products.


XOXOXO

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Smootches

Oh, blog world, I miss you! My computer is painfully slow right now and there seems to be OTHER things to do than sit at the computer and follow the lives of others. I have so many blog ideas rolling around in my brain right now and just not enough of a window to sit down and pound them out. So while my injured hubby relaxes on the couch (pinched nerve in his back) and a glass of wine waits for me on the kitchen counter I will quickly share my cookie of the week....one of the most simple cookies in the world yet I have never made them until the other day. Perfect cold weather cookie recipe and the ingredients are always there. This is from Nigella Lawsons's How to Be a Domestic Goddess:

Snickerdoodles:

Combine the following in a bowl:
1 2/3 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
3/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt

Cream together these in this order:
1/2 cup butter, room temperature
1/3 cup sugar
1 large egg
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Mix dry into wet until smooth (can take some time, it's thicker than most cookie doughs) then squeeze off pieces of dough and roll between palms into walnut sized balls. Roll these little babies into a mixture of:

2 tablespoons sugar
1 tablespoon cinnamon

Place on a cookie sheet (I did not grease and it was fine but the recipe says "prepared") and bake at 350 degrees for 15 minutes. These are not meant to be flat, but more like a denser, drier doughnut hole. They are really irresistable and great with a cup of tea.


Hope to catch up with my "followers" soon.

XOXO

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

And then there was one...(aka Zeek's Obituary)


Man, 2 pets in two weeks. First the kitty disappears without a trace.

And then today....Zeek passed away. We knew this weekend that it was the end, and we gave it a a few days to see if he would go peacefully, but today it was clear he wasn't going down easy, so we got him "the drugs." The vet did it at home and that made it so nice for everyone.

We're fine--he was old (15 years), mostly deaf and partially blind, and had trouble navigating stairs. We're mostly glad he isn't suffering. But it is going to take some time to adjust. I mean he's always been there. Zeek was at Blake's side the first time I went to hang out at his house. That adorable massive, stalky, red-haired body, snarfing around with his one floppy ear....its going to be weird without him around. That was really clear after dinner when we intentionally dropped some chicken scraps on the floor...no one to clean it up.




So thank you, Zeek, for keeping our floors clean.

Thank you for the hack-saw snoring that told us we were never alone.

Thank you for being our doorbell and for being the protector of our castle (Geebus knows you scared the shit out of some service dudes and solicitors...) and for making me feel safe enough to sleep on nights my husband was out of town.

Thanks for putting up with us filling our house with crying babies and rambunctious children.

Thank you for not biting the hand that fed you. You were a good, good dog.

(Oh, and sorry about that time before we moved to Portland that we put you on Craigslist. That was dumb. But we really thought you might be happier with other dogs, and not with little kids around. We are really glad no one called. Again, very sorry.)


And now a poem, written today by Mayan:


Wish You Were Alive

The time has come to die, my friend.

I'm sorry about that.
The time has come to die, my friend.

I swear to that.


I'm sorry about that.

I love you, Zeek.


--Mayan Grace, 11-05-08

And finally, the happiest photo--this is how I would like to remember the Zeeber, in sheer doggy bliss, rolling in the grass with mouth open and genitals airing, giving himself a doggie back rub:



Tuesday, November 4, 2008

blue states memo to the red states

Since I am virtually positive there are no McCain voting Republicans that read my blog, here is a little laugh to ease the anxiety of this monumental election day for my fellow blog readers:


Memo to the Red States:

If you manage to steal this election, too, we've decided we're leaving.

We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue
States with us. In case you aren't aware, that includes California,
Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois,
and all the Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the
nation, and especially to the people of the new country of New
California.

To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states. We
get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get the Statue of
Liberty. You get Dollywood.

We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.

We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.

We get 85% of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get
Alabama.

We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay
their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22% lower than the Christian
Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single
moms.

Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war,
and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you
need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're
apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they
don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming
home. We do wish you success in Iraq, and hope that the WMDs turn up,
but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80% of the
country's fresh water, more than 90% of the pineapple and lettuce, 92%
of the nation's fresh fruit, 95% of America's quality wines, 90% of all
cheese, 90% of the high tech industry, 95% of the corn and soybeans
(thanks Iowa!), most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods,
sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus
Stanford, Cal Tech, UCLA, Berkeley and MIT.

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88%
of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92% of
all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100% of the tornadoes, 90% of the
hurricanes, 99% of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100% of all
televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the
University of Georgia.

We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

Additionally, 38% of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually
swallowed by a whale, 62% believe life is sacred unless we're discussing
the war, the death penalty or gun laws, 44% say that
evolution is only a theory, 53% that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61%
of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals then we
lefties.

Finally, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt weed
they grow in Mexico.


This was forwarded to me, and I wish I knew who to give credit to for writing it. See you all in the blogosphere tomorrow!

Saturday, November 1, 2008

The Sugar Fairy


Halloween is one of our family's favorite holidays, however it presents a prickly problem for the child who is food allergic. Since Mayan was old enough to participate in the festivities, we had to come up with a solution to allow the fun of trick or treating but not make her feel left out when it came time to consume the goods. I am not sure where the idea came from, possibly on-line, but since then, every October 31st, our family gets a visit from "The Sugar Fairy."

The Sugar Fairy, you see, needs sugar to feed to her sugar babies--they will die without an adequate sugar diet. Halloween is the night the Sugar Fairy harvests sugary candy treats, and leaves the children other gifts in return. In the past it is usually some wooden toys, a specialty allergen-friendy chocolate or cookie, and a toothbrush. Yes, that's right, in our house our children trade their candy for a toothbrush.

Depending on how you look at it we are either really great parents or really terrible parents.

Last night, we headed to a Halloween Party and stopped off at Nomad to pick up Blake and eat some dinner I brought from home. In order to keep their costumes clean, I was feeding bites of rice and beef and green beans to the girls. Isadore would dance over to me (she was a kitty ballerina) and would say "trick or treat!" and I'd feed her a green bean, then she'd laugh and sing "We get vegetables and toothbrushes instead of candy!" This is when it hits me, in a comical sense of course: Wow, what terrible parents we are! We have tricked out children into being perfectly okay with trading CANDY, the glorious nectar of childhood, with TOOTHBRUSHES, the traditional object related to the bane of childhood experiences: going to the dentist. If nothing else, we must be wickedly genius!

After stopping at the store, to purchase the treats for the later switch-a-roo, we arrive at the party. Now there are "big girls" there--three gals that Mayan and Isadore know and are about 9 years old. These girls know all about Halloween. It was the dads who were in charge of taking the group of kids around the neighborhood, and from what I hear everyone had a fine time. (The moms hung back and enjoyed the lovely spread of food and beverages.) When the group returned, Mayan and Isadore informed me they were headed upstairs "to sort our candy." It occured to me that this must be what the other kids do since this was not custom in our home--why would it be, of course, the Sugar Fairy normally accepts one big unsorted pile. Blake and I obliged, and retreated to the kitchen for some grown-up conversation. As we are laughing and joking, and eating it hits me: My daughters are up there with their candy and their big girls telling everyone that "We cant eat our candy...we give it to the Sugar Fairy for her Sugar Babies, and get toothbrushes instead!" with sweet grateful smiles on their sweet little faces. I remind myself that, it may not be perfectly clear that this practice is not exactly considered normal. I had this vision of Mayan coming downstairs, hands-on hips, with Isadore at her heel, arms crossed and eyes narrowed, sassily barking "Hey, we've just been informed that we're getting the shitty end of the stick on this Halloween deal! Toothbrushes are for suckers!"

I sent Blake up to check on the happenings. He briskly came down a minute later, looking for the camera. "That good, huh?" I asked. "Oh, man, you have to see this," he explained. "It's like the Nasdaq of halloween candy." Sure enough the girls were up there literally auctioning off candy, items spread out and sorted to a startlingly organized fashion. I heard River say "Alright, next up we have, 3 snickers bars and 2 three Musketeers!" Among the bunk bed and girly perfume bottles, we had a little Wall Steet, only the traders we dressed as a zombie-cheerleader, a goth, a China doll, and a Starship Enterprise officer.

The mommy in me wanted to make sure Mayan wasn't getting taken advantae of so I leaned in a said "Hey Mayan, make sure you are getting a fair deal..." Tanaya, the oldest, looked at me somewhat surprised and said "Are you kidding? She's been tough." Hee, hee, her father's daughter. We snapped a shot and left them be.

So much for my vision of the girls getting thier hearts crushed by seeing the "real" Halloween candy experience. Of course, I should have known better. This whole "Sugar Fairy" thing has always been given with a heavy dose of "wink, wink, nudge, nudge." Mayan only participates because she wants to delight in the imagination--when pressed she will admit "I know it's only you and Papa." But she enjoys playing along--she told me when I came back to the car after going into the store "Mom, I think I saw the Sugar Fairy in there!" The truth is Mayan has adapted amazingly well to her special "the-food-sensitive-kid" affliction. She rarely fusses or feels bad for herself when she is around things she can't eat. I've always made a big effort to make her things that are comparable to the food and treats served at social events we attend, but I just can't cover all of my bases 100% of the time and there are times she goes without. The most impressive part to me is that she respects what her body is telling her--she is not avoiding food becasue I tell her not to eat them but becasue she knows she is healthier when she avoids her trigger foods. I know this because I have overheard her many times or been told by friends that have had her in their care. When presented with strange foods, she states "Oh no, I can't--I'm allergic." Somehow, and I can't really take the credit, she has learned to embrace that which makes her different. The events of last night only compounded this revelation for me. I really think that although Mayan wants to fit in most of the time with her peers, she has the confidence to stand out when it counts.

As soon as we got home the girls left their brimming baskets on the counter and I hustled them upstairs to get into pjs so I could make the switch. Like a mad women I stuffed a produce bag full of the mini-candy bars, lollipops, and tootsie rolls, and hucked them in top shelf of the pantry. In each girl's basket I placed a brand new Hello Kitty toothbrush and a bag of corn-free, fruit-juice-sweetened, no artifical color gummy worms and jelly beans. Just in time to hear the approaching feet running down the stairs.

The girls were very pleased with their treats--they made big fuss over the Hello Kitty brushes ("Mine is a cowgirl!! Oooooh, Isadore yours is an asian kitty with a dragon!") I let them have some jelly beans and a gummy worm each. Blake had tears in his eyes when he saw how grateful and excited they were for their goodies. I guess we have managed to not strip the joy from the holiday that is notorious for letting children stuff face and bug out on refined sugar. In fact, as I went to kiss them goodnight Mayan showed me the thank you card she was making for the Sugar Fairy. It reads:

thank you shoogirfary for all the goodys. ar the toothbrushes magic? and the gumy worms taste grate. happy holleween shoogirfary!

It's accompanied by a picture of the fairy and her wand hovering over two baskets each containing one toothbrush and one bag of candy, appropriately labeled.

Happy Halloween to you too, dear, Happy Halloween.