mama's little fashionista

for as long as i can remember i've had a passion for fashion. the highlight of my childhood was pouring over department store catalogs. i'd spend countless hours creating lists of "dream wardrobes"--each list at different price points, like the if-we-won-the-lottery list, the $250 list, and the bare minimum i-couldn't-live-without list. i was the youngest of four children and our income was modest at best so this must have driven my parents crazy. once a week, my mom had her nails done at the JC Penney salon and i would get to spend the whole time browsing the childrens clothing section by myself, marveling at the coordinated sets, and fingering the fabrics, and if i had time try on different outfits. this must have driven the sales people crazy. this love for clothing has alwasy been my favorite pasttime--anytime we go on vacation i want to see the boutiques and vintage stores, every birthday its how i want to spend my day, any extra money that comes our way, i immediately dream up an afternoon at anthropologie. if we are going to go somewhere special like a concert, i will spend the weeks leading up to said event looking for the perfect thing to wear. this, of course, can drive blake a little crazy, too.


when i think back to my childhood, the things that stand out the most are not birthday parties or sports or school...its wandering thorugh malls and admist clothing racks. once, when i was about nine, my sister gave me $100 and i asked my mom to take me to the emporium where i proceeded to choose an assortment of cotton pieces with the most mix-and-match potential to maximize my dollars. i especially remember a pair of paisley print leggings with grey, turquoise, and purple tones that i wore until the knees faded.

and its weird how something is just "turned on" in your brain. my parents were not particulary fashionable people, and i can't think of anything or anyone who influenced me in that direction. and although clothing is material, its wasn't a desire for material possessions or or the status of designer ware. nor was it vanity--i wasn't so much whether i looked beautiful or fancy. the pleasure came from putting something together that was aethetically pleasing. like seeing amazing architecture or being in a room designed in fung shui, fashion is taking color and texture and cultural context and making a wearable expression from it, and i couldn't turn off that awareness if i tried.

it must have been about a year ago that i noticed something. blake and mayan have always had this deep connection--they share all the same interests, you can pretty much bet that if blake is into it mayan will become a fan as well. as she gets older their love of mutual things gets more intense, and its like this "aside" from the normal parent-child relationship, a thread of a common connection that looks more like friendship. its sweet and in the past i have been somewhat envious of their bond. so this thing i saw a year ago surprised me a little bit. it sprung up and suddenly it came to me that i might get to have this connection with another child: isadore. the two of us have always had an easy time getting along, but now a new development in our realtionship emerged: the girl loves fashion.


it took me a while to see this because it started as a love of dress up. not unusual for kids to love to dress up, but she took to dressing up all day, everyday. i began to expand our dress up box...or boxes, with thrift store finds. she would watch a movie and then immediately go to the box and create a look similar to the main character. it never had to be JUST like the character either--she happily worked with what she had, so if the character wore a puffy white shirt and vest, any old white shirt and an indian print vest turned inside out would do.

i will never forget the moment though that i knew isadore had my affection for fashion, the same mindfulness about clothing that i possessed. we were at the dinner table and mayan brought up egypt, and how she would love to go there for a family trip one day. we all agreed and then isadore sucked in her breath and proclaimed "i know exactly what i would wear when we got to egypt!" i just about died. i tried not to have a huge reaction but i looked right to blake with tears welling in my eyes, and his smiling look back told me "she's definitely your daughter!!" i just had to pull her into me then and laugh through my tears. ah, someone who understands!

on her 5th birthday, totally stoked on her new look

since then its been a pleasure watching the passion grow in her and her own style develop. everytime isaodre comes downstairs dressed she looks totally put together. she sees something in an article of clothing that i would miss--there is one pair of jeans in particular that she has loved to shreads, and no jeans has been able to replace them, something about the exact fit that captures her (she calls them her "sarah" jeans inspired by the character from the movie Labrynth.) not long ago, i bought her a pair of basic old navy boot cut jeans and she took them and thanked me politely. later she sighed to me how when she's older she will design a jeans that fit close to the legs, and she used her hands to show me how they would hug her legs. "sweetie," i said "they do make those. they are called skinny jeans." "They do?!" she replied ecstatically and the hunt began for the perfect pair of skinny jeans.

this is one of her first creations--using a diaper and a yoga strap, its a corset-style top...and of course with her beloved "sarah" jeans. where did she learn to work the camera like that??

our good friend Halle, who is a designer, came to visit this summer and she let Issy (who lived in her swimsuit pretty much the entire month of august) try on her "warrior" jewelry

its gotten to the point that i actually am inspired by HER. she is just so fresh and her look is aethetically clean, which i love. its not a bunch of randomness, she dresses with purpose. i have been teaching her different names for clothing, like the different types of jackets. she loves this character called carmen san diego who wears a red trench coat, so she's alwasy on the lookout for a red trench. she'll point something out and say "that's kind of like a carmen coat" and i say "thats called a pea coat" and we'll talk about the differences. while a small part of me has always critizied myself for what can seem like frivolous time spent talking about, looking at, shopping for clothing--i mean couldn't my energy be better spend on something more constructive?--but what i know, especially by watching it in isadore, is that you can't turn off a passion, you could stop shopping altogether (i practically have) and stick to jeans and a t-shirt everyday...but you would never stop observing and having a reaction to fashion. i know its like that for anyone's passion: you can ever really turn it off. so i am teaching isadore how to have balance. we don't need oodles of clothes, and we don't have to spend a lot of money on them either; we can't hold up the family looking for the perfect outfit, sometime we just have to be comfortable and move on. and when we do find that great look, we can give one good look in the mirror and pat ourselves on the back, but then lets go out in the world and be good people. not vain, not shallow--those things are not synonamous with fashion.

the latest look: vintage cat-eye glasses, a flowy feminine shirt, the ragged yet beloved "sarah" jeans, and sneakers

i've been looking for something special to do with isadore lately, since mayan, who loves music tens to get to go to the concerts (she can sit still a lot longer...) and i know isaodre can feel lieft out. imagaine my glee, when i saw in the paper that a fashion show called junk to funk was going to be all ages at the crystal ballroom. this event is a contest for designer to use trash, or materials that could be reused, to create fabulous couture and is sponsored by SCRAP. i knew my friend halle, who is a fashion designer, would be here in portland (she relocated from bend on novemebr 1st!) so we made a date, and isadore was SO excited--her first fashion show, AND it would be for a good cause, and to promote environmental consciousness.

the night of junk to funk: ready to rock it

last night was a blast--we got decked out and stayed up late, and being under those lights and right up against the runway was something neither of us will forget. each creation was inspiring and amazing...and the materials used were incredible! construction cones, tampon wrappers, tyvek mailers, inflatable matresses, coffee filters.....it ended being a great way for isadore to enjoy one of the reasons we moved here: culture, and also for us to bond over our love of all things fashionable. oh, my little fashionista, it was the first night of many, i hope!

left to right: andrea (halle's friend and favorite model), halle my-friend-who-loves-all-thing-fashion, me, and isadore (trying so hard to squeeze in she's making a face)

the outfit i voted for, made from construction site materials including a cone and barrier fencing. that is her real hair wrapped around wires!

me and my girl kickin' it on the runway, discussing the last set

my fridays

day so long, computer so slow.

this will be my first (of many i'm sure) day of half-assed blogging. i want to get into pajamas and put the kids to bed and eat ice cream while watching an alfred hitchcock movie.

friday is the busiest day of the week. i try to cram all errands into this day so that i can stay home, and save gas and money monday through thursday. here was today's day, start to finish. maybe next time i'll take pictures....like a day in the life, part two: out-and-about!


6:30 george wakes up and i put him in his room with a snack and sippy cup. he plays and i go back to bed. this is what happens every morning. he's the best baby ever. blake comes and gets him when he's woken up but Geo usually plays happily for 1 to 2 hours without a peep. i know, best baby ever.
8:30 i hear blake getting george and looking for wipes. i tell him where they are. then ask for 30 more minutes.
9:30 i wake up for reals this time. put on my sheepskin house boots and make the bed. i like to start the day with a made bed.
9:40 finish the dishes in the sink, make breakfast (ham, freshly-layed egg, cheese on a sprouted bagel--a common morning-starter), and start a cup o' irish breakfast. mayan unloads the dish washer.
10:00 alternate between eating breakfast/drinking tea, feeding george some egg, and checking email and facebook, and solidifying grocery list.
10:20 sit in living room and finish cold bagel and cold tea while listening to the practice piano.
10:30 blake gives the "lets be gone in 30 minutes"announcement, so i head upstairs to get dressed while barking orders: gather piano books! gather library books! put ice packs in the cooler! shoes, shoes, shoes!! NO, not those ones! where are your sneakers?
10:55 dressed and loading car. run back in to grab iPod.
11:20 roll up to fred meyer for "red drink" (tropical recharge) and other fred meyer grocery items. (it is one of three or four grocery stores i shop at every friday) put perishable groceries in cooler in the back of car.
11:55 deliver blake to nomad just in time. he peirces a nose right away and use the phone to call danielle (see what she'd like for dinner) and then my friend halle (to make sure she's bought the tickets to the fashion show we are attending next week end.)
12:20 pop in a new audiobook for the kids and i--"the gooney bird books" by lois lowry. head to new seasons.
12:30 mayan wants to stay in the car to keep listening to the story so i take the baby into new seasons for groceries: part two. its the only place that has the bagels i can eat. also the 'enjoy life' chocolate chips for the kids. spendy items but essentials. also i like the ground pork. feed george rice puffs while we shop to keep him occupied.
1:00 return to car, get the what-did-i-miss-in-the-story update while unloading cart, give the kids some free samples i scored inside. count my cash, and return the cart, stopping to give the epileptic homeless woman on the corner two dollars. i don't do this very often, i'm always back and forth about whether its really helpful at all. but today, i can spare two bucks, so whatever.
1:17 next stop trader joe's. we all get out. get TP and essential gluten-free things unavailable at any other stores. find "appleface" the stuffed cat they hid in a different place everytime (kids get a treat if they find him.)
1:45 get back to car, rearrange back of suburban, feed everyone turkey sandwiches.
2:00 stop at woodstock library to return books and get a new pile. this week lots of easy read books for isadore, magic tree house books for mayan, an alfred hitchcock dvd and two randomly picked mucis cds for me and b, and our first edith nesbit book for all.
2:40 ha, the choice to hit the woodstock library was a stategic move on my part--the only taco cart in town that is soy-free is in the parking lot next door. i order two tacos and let the kids look through our new books in the car while i wait. clean out my purse. the fresh tortillas are to die for--so soft and fluffy!
3:00 arrive early to the girls' piano lessons. george has fallen alseep! perfect timing. eat my tacos. listen to the skippyjon jones cd that came with the library book.
3:15 escort issy to her lesson. come back to car and read mayan some nancy drew (the bungalow mystery)
3:45 isadore comes out and mayan goes in. read to issy. try the two new cds i got from the library--they both suck really bad. then listen to iPod--regina spektor, soviet kitsch.
4:20 mayan is back from her lesson and we head straight home.
4:35 girls and i unload groceries and put them away while i start to make burritos. george is up and grupmy--keep him out of trouble while the girls ride their bikes before it gets too dark.
5:30 finalize and assemble burritos and put half in the oven to warm. whip up a small batch of guacamole.
5:55 pack up four toastly burritos and guac to deliver to danielle. load up kids in car and make sure i turn off all the lights in the house before we go.
6:15 get to D's, leave kids in car whle i run her dinner to her and then stand in her doorway chatting for 10 minutes. have her call blake and tell him i'm on my way (and running late)
6:45 arrive at nomad. pick up b.
6:55 stop at freddies again b/c i forgot to buy beer.
7:15 get home and heat up burritos. have girls clear their library pile off the counter and then set the table. crack a negra modelo to go with my food.
7:35 finish dinner, have kids help clean up. opne a second beer, go to computer and discuss/mull over VW TDI wagons. then i start this blog post.
8:30 realize the kids are getting rowdy and blake is in shower. walk ways from the computer and start getitng them ready. they brush teeth. i wrap up geo and nurse him down in no time. lay him in his crib. head to the girls' room, go up in mayans bunk and read half of "the deliverers of their country" by edith nesbit. give lots of kisses and sweet dream wishes.
9:30 head back downstairs. start blogging again. get the how-long-will-you-be-clicking-look from blake. assure him i'm wrapping things up.
10:03 really wrap it up. try to remember where i left that beer.


all in all, this one wasn't so half-assed. what did you do today?

the perfect boot finale

part one and part two are here.

a new season! a renewed sense of hope of finding the perfect boot! in typical fashion, the world of fashion has caught up with me--every time, for as long as i can recall, if i've searched despearately for an item, there is always a plethera the following year. this is why i was studying fashion merchandising in college before i dropped out, to fulfill my own needs of having access to the clothing i wanted before it was easily available, and to use my knack of being one step ahead of the world of ready-to-wear, and get paid for it.

a sit-down on the zappos site and confirmed a large selection of tall leather boots, both functional, quality, and stylish. i quickly settled on two pairs and convinced blake to let me max out our credit card and order both, see which one is better, and send the loser back. you will recall last time my saga took place over january, so most of the boots my size and color choice were sold out. i was just a wee bit paranoid about that happening again. but here i was early in the season, with all these hot boots fresh for the picking!

last year, when i gave up the search, i ended up surviving the rest of the wet season with a fine pair of black rubber rain boots with laces up the front that i found for half-off online. they are great but don't live up to many of the criteria of that "perfect boot." the perfect boot, just for review, needs to be leather, an appealing shade of brown, have secure tread for slippery surfaces, and (the toughy) needs to have a large enough circumference in the calf (sadly, my calf is the same circumference as last year dispite my efforts to lose weight.) plus it has to be pretty.



pair #1:


the franco sarto telluride. mmmmmm.......this boot gives me the chills. its seeeeeexy, but would be even sexier broken-in, like a true leather boot. the buckle (which i'm usually opposed to) is just the right touch, not too tough, just there. the shade of brown--warm, reddish, yummy. the zipper was beefy and industrial and, the twist, on the outside of the shaft--oh, yeah.

the fit: a no-go. shit, shit, shitty-shit. not big enough around the calf, and stretching would have been a risk at that price. and in the foot area: ow. ow. ow. very narrow with stiff leather. one trip around the living room and i was wincing. with a sigh, i printed the label for their return.

besides all of that, its still my favorite looking boot i've seen all year. i guess it will remain "boot porn," and i can imagine wearing them in my dreams.


pair #2:
i gave another pair of timberlands a shot. these were $100 more than the timberlands of boot search part one, so i knew the quality would be better than those cheap-o's. i liked the color, too--very different. almost a grey or green hue to them in person. compared to the tellurides the style is....um, bland. but the beauty of these is that the style could go either way: a little country, a little rock and rock, a little boho...they are a whatever, wherever and don't make a huge statement. the tread: respectable. the fit: a clear, clear winner. they went on like butter, had a roomie, comfortable footbed and didn't squeeze. the calf was just enough with no room to spare, but a small hidden panel of elastic to make them work. phew! the relief!!

what i've discovered it that the best bet for a larger calf is a pull-on style boot--these are meant to, on a smaller-sized calf, have space between your leg and the boot top so it can be pulled on and off without the need for a zipper. no harm done if your calf fills up the extra room--especially nice if there is a small section of elastic at the top for comfort and ease.


the leather is soft and does slouch a bit now that they are worn-in, but not so much that it affects the tallness of the boot, or kills the shape of my leg--i still have an ankle, but also they are easy to wear, not stiff at all. i can run errands and crouch and carry kids, and my feet don't hurt at the end of the day. my look has been these with opaque black tights and a sweater dress almost everyday: my fall look is complete! and to think, i have all of the remainder of fall and winter to enjoy my perfect pair of boots...isn't that how it should be? only time will tell if they last more than one year, but until then, after all i've been through in my search, i am already getting my money's worth.

the perfect boots, part 2

They came! I was so excited, I was taking deep breaths to calm down. Blake decided to photo-document the experience....











I look beyond the composite sole, the plastic zipper, that only goes halfway up the boot...all I see is the lovely, crinkly leather and worthy traction. I give it a go.

But alas, I am like one of Cinderella's evil step-sisters, trying desperately to make the glass slipper fit.










Here I pout and try and justify keeping them: I can have them stretched and hope the stitching around the top holds, I am sure the plastic zipper with hold up better than expected.....maybe they will fit next year if I ever lose this baby-weight...


They are really gorgeous, aren't they? Oh, well.


I spent this weekend hanging out on Hawthorne street. I have decided I am the only women in the metro area that does not have an awesome, sexy, stylish pair of boots. I tried some on at Imelda's, there were some beauties to be had for sure, but most had heels, or wimpy soles, or were too narrow in the calf. You know, I really might not be able to find a pair until I lose this 25 pounds from the last pregnancy. When does that happen again?? It gets harder the older I get, I suppose, and its not just going to 'fall off' they way it did after I had Mayan (although I had to cut dairy and potatoes from my diet which cut my calorie intake way back.) I don't want to get into a whole weight complex, I can be patient and I know I will have to put more effort than ever into it this time (and likely for the rest of my life) but as of now, I'd really just like some boots to fit, and I'd be happy working around everything else. At this rate, the weather will be warming up by the time I find something. I think I will continue to hunt second-hand for something do-able, and pick up on the search for the TRUE PERFECT PAIR (Camper Camper Camper) next season with slimmer calves and a savings stash. This isn't over!

the search for the perfect boots

sadly, this i've been on this search for almost 2 months already. 2 months of rain, ice, snow, and general coldness. 2 months that i could have been donning my perfect pair of boots. that is assuming that the perfect pair exists, which now the doubt weighs heavy on me like a pair of steel-toed, lug soles.



it all started with this pair of camper boots. they had everything i wanted in a boot. not trendy, but classic, something that reminded me of a boot someone would have worn a hundred years ago. a capable pair of boots, ready to work, to walk the fields, gather firewood, and to carry buckets of...i don't know, something. ready to age gracefully. a boot that could be worn with tights and a skirt or a wool dress or with skinny jeans stuffed into them. just enough traction. quality materials. a dark brown that could be paired with black or any of color i threw at it. tall enought to hit at the point where the calf starts to thin before the knee. these boots had it all! they were inspired by the mexican industrial revolution and are called "1910 Mexico." these boots spoke to me. there was just one hitch. the calf circumference was 14" and i need 15". you can expect to stretch a boot calf 1" at the most BUT if it didn't work, then i would be out $275. the risk seemed too high. so i searched on, assuming there must be something out there that met my criteria.

next i came to these. i had some doubts. like "do i really like the laces...?" and "don't only ganstas wear timberlands....?" but after scrolling over the multiple views a few hundrend times, i decided they did look very rugged yet feminine, the laces would make them very adjustable and might be pretty darling with my whole tights and skirt look i had been visualizing. the price was only $145. i should have been suspicious right then. when they arrived the week before christmas (these wre actually intended to be my solstice gift from B), i mused at the lightness of the package yet tore the box open in anticipation. they looked...cheap. the materials now up close were flimsy, not the supple, durable leather i had imagined. i could see some glue in the construction. and the zipper...plastic. such a bust. zappos is so good about free shipping both ways, so off they went. now what? i asked myself

i am not exaggerating when i tell you that hours were spent looking at boots. i believe i have seen every boot available on zappos, j crew, the sundance catalog (thanks to a tip from my stylish friend rebekah!), boden, and frye at least 10 times....

ah, frye. this is a company that makes a boot to last. a boot i could trust! yet, it was not that simple. the biggest problem with the frye boots are the soles. they are slick, like a cowboy boots and i must have traction in this climate--i can't be slippin' and slidin' all over the place.

these are my absolute favorites...the tops are a sexy equestrian style, but look at the wimpy sole. rejecting this sole narrowed it down a lot, yet they do have a few selections with a decent rubber tread.












one was called the millie. great color, adorable pull-on styling...but the shaft was short, would hit right at the thickest part of my calf which is extremely unflattering. trust me. only gals with long skinny legs can and should wear boots that stop at the fattest part of the calf. shall we move on?








this left me with the new veronica slouch. very popular new boot, very. probably the most coveted frye boot this season. i envisioned this boot on my foot many, many times. i even placed it in my basket just to see how it felt. what was holding me back?....well, the buckle at the bottom. too tough, too motorcyle for me. and what about this so-called "slouch"? i don't mind a soft wrinkle but will they drown my ankles? AND they're $330. my budget was around $250 which especially now is a LOT OF MONEY. i am not saying that a good boot isn't worth that, in fact, as we learned before, a boot is priced accordingly and anything decent that will have that looks-better-after-some-wear quality should cost anywhere between $200 to $400. but to go over budget by that much for a look that i don't LOVE....i had to step back and assess.



one of the main problems i was having was that there were some boots that i liked a lot, and fit the traction, color, circumference, and quality standards were met...but they were lined in sheepskin. that is great and all during the cold months, at least half the year, but it seemed a shame to invest in these boots and not have them be year-round, like the Campers. oh, Campers, damn you!! like this ugg boot, so simple, sturdy...but i had big doubts about the sheepskin.






the site i mentioned before, sundance, had some boots that were also very tempting--crinkled leather, rugged sole, a optional turn-down-or-up cuff. the best look by far but also had the sheepskin conundrum. and the price was over $300. but ooooh, made in italy. italians and boots go together like....oh, shoot, something that goes together well. they were also off the list....unless....what was this? on my tenth visit to the site, suddenly the boots are over half off!! my mind begins to spin and calculate.....if they are only $140 (down from $338) then it might be worth it to have them only be cold weather boots, and i can just deal with a warmer-weather boot when the times comes, maybe find something on consignment...then i remembered that when i returned my zappos boots, i opted for store credit (so that i could get free overnight shipping, see...) and now my funds were all tied up there, and yes, i could call them and change it, but i would still have to wait a few days for the bank to process it and by then would they even have my size left.....are you still following me? life should not be this complicated!

i resigned myself back to finding a pair on zappos. meanwhile, life is rolling on, the holidays pass, the snowdrifts melt, the rain comes and floods, and subsides, then threatens to flood again. i lay in bed with visions of boots marching by, some for their beauty, others for their functionality, never quite attaining a perfect blend of both. except for the Campers--the perfect boots with the not-perfect measurements. i finally began pouring my woes to blake, even though i knew it would all be way over his head. his look of bewilderment confirmed this, but i pleaded with him to focus and hear me out. "i need your help making a decision." and as a man who is also picky about his shoes, he listened. once i had it all out, i proposed the risk--how about i just get the Campers and have them stretched and hope for the best? we calculated this together and thought that yes, it was possible, if the zipper is metal it should be able to handle the stress. he had my back.

i ran downstairs, happy to have just made the call, consequences be damned, one cannot live in this boot-shopping purgatory forever!! i found my "favorites" tab, loaded my cart and hit the check out button.

we're sorry these are not available in that size and color combination. but here are some other options....

i don't want black. i can't wear a 36, i need a 37. fucker. give me my goddamn boots.

i quickly moved through the disappointment, and decided that it was important to just make something happen. i quickly navigated to my second choice--the ugg broome, sheepskin be damned, i'd cross that bridge when i came to it.


not available in my size either. not even close to my size--they had like 5.5 and 10's left. well. then. if you are starting to think this story is getting to be too long, then i'm with you.

finally, last night, i floated back to the sundance page, and those gorgeous italian sheepskin lined boots were still there. blake stood stirring our pasta and homemade spaghetti sauce....was this some sort of sign? i made one move foreward to see how it felt, clicking on the "online help" button and i was connected to michele instantly. i had never done this before and it was exciting. i asked her if she had a pair in my size and what the calf measurement was.

Michele : Hi Leah. Do you know the item number?
leah : yup hold on
leah : 47294
Michele : We have one pair left in the size 37. The circumference is 15"
leah : ooooh wonderful!
Michele : You can order them online if you want.
leah : what is your return policy if they dont fit?
Michele : You just need to mail them back to us and we will give you a refund for the price of the boots.


i give blake the blow-by-blow and he says "just go for it. we'll do a money juggle tomorrow." i felt like i was bidding on something coveted during the last 30 seconds of an ebay auction, i was all adrenelined out. when i put them in my cart they came up as only $119! plus shipping, but geez, that was over $200 off.

i am awaiting the boots with my fingers (or toes) crossed. either i scored an awesome pair of boots that will last me through many stylish yet rugged winters, or they suck and i send them back and the saga continues. i called zappos today and they are transferring my store credit back to my debit card. the guy mentioned that someone was in the process of returning a pair of the Campers in size 37 and that i can check back every day. we'll see. its not like i have 200 and something dollars laying around for shoe purchases. i promise, dear readers, to share the ending with you, whether its happy or not...


but tell me....what is the best pair of shoes or boots you ever scored?