blog-bandonment

well, its not like i just forgot. what happened was this: tuesday night i came down to find that the computer area reaked of beer. i lifted the keyboard to find a huge puddle of what can only guess was the last third of my mirror pond pale ale. it was all over the floor, too. george is the likely culprit. i cleaned things up but the keyboard was kaput...only the mouse still worked so i could check emails and bookmarked tabs like facebook but i could not type text. wednesday i considered doing a title-less photo blog with me holding up hand-written messages that said "keyboard broken" "smells suspiciously like beer" "happy thanksgiving"...but something in me said let it go. so i did. then thursday passed and friday...then the whole weekend. i hardly touched the computer at all, even though michael brought us a new keyboard on thanksgiving. so my blog posting month ended with a leave of absence but i'm not sorry. i think the quality of my content was dwindling anyway...better for me to leave it at three weeks of solid wholesome blogness, than to subject you to one last week of blather. but trust me, milk and ink has been revived and i will be a more attentive. keep me in your readers, Readers!

my fridays

day so long, computer so slow.

this will be my first (of many i'm sure) day of half-assed blogging. i want to get into pajamas and put the kids to bed and eat ice cream while watching an alfred hitchcock movie.

friday is the busiest day of the week. i try to cram all errands into this day so that i can stay home, and save gas and money monday through thursday. here was today's day, start to finish. maybe next time i'll take pictures....like a day in the life, part two: out-and-about!


6:30 george wakes up and i put him in his room with a snack and sippy cup. he plays and i go back to bed. this is what happens every morning. he's the best baby ever. blake comes and gets him when he's woken up but Geo usually plays happily for 1 to 2 hours without a peep. i know, best baby ever.
8:30 i hear blake getting george and looking for wipes. i tell him where they are. then ask for 30 more minutes.
9:30 i wake up for reals this time. put on my sheepskin house boots and make the bed. i like to start the day with a made bed.
9:40 finish the dishes in the sink, make breakfast (ham, freshly-layed egg, cheese on a sprouted bagel--a common morning-starter), and start a cup o' irish breakfast. mayan unloads the dish washer.
10:00 alternate between eating breakfast/drinking tea, feeding george some egg, and checking email and facebook, and solidifying grocery list.
10:20 sit in living room and finish cold bagel and cold tea while listening to the practice piano.
10:30 blake gives the "lets be gone in 30 minutes"announcement, so i head upstairs to get dressed while barking orders: gather piano books! gather library books! put ice packs in the cooler! shoes, shoes, shoes!! NO, not those ones! where are your sneakers?
10:55 dressed and loading car. run back in to grab iPod.
11:20 roll up to fred meyer for "red drink" (tropical recharge) and other fred meyer grocery items. (it is one of three or four grocery stores i shop at every friday) put perishable groceries in cooler in the back of car.
11:55 deliver blake to nomad just in time. he peirces a nose right away and use the phone to call danielle (see what she'd like for dinner) and then my friend halle (to make sure she's bought the tickets to the fashion show we are attending next week end.)
12:20 pop in a new audiobook for the kids and i--"the gooney bird books" by lois lowry. head to new seasons.
12:30 mayan wants to stay in the car to keep listening to the story so i take the baby into new seasons for groceries: part two. its the only place that has the bagels i can eat. also the 'enjoy life' chocolate chips for the kids. spendy items but essentials. also i like the ground pork. feed george rice puffs while we shop to keep him occupied.
1:00 return to car, get the what-did-i-miss-in-the-story update while unloading cart, give the kids some free samples i scored inside. count my cash, and return the cart, stopping to give the epileptic homeless woman on the corner two dollars. i don't do this very often, i'm always back and forth about whether its really helpful at all. but today, i can spare two bucks, so whatever.
1:17 next stop trader joe's. we all get out. get TP and essential gluten-free things unavailable at any other stores. find "appleface" the stuffed cat they hid in a different place everytime (kids get a treat if they find him.)
1:45 get back to car, rearrange back of suburban, feed everyone turkey sandwiches.
2:00 stop at woodstock library to return books and get a new pile. this week lots of easy read books for isadore, magic tree house books for mayan, an alfred hitchcock dvd and two randomly picked mucis cds for me and b, and our first edith nesbit book for all.
2:40 ha, the choice to hit the woodstock library was a stategic move on my part--the only taco cart in town that is soy-free is in the parking lot next door. i order two tacos and let the kids look through our new books in the car while i wait. clean out my purse. the fresh tortillas are to die for--so soft and fluffy!
3:00 arrive early to the girls' piano lessons. george has fallen alseep! perfect timing. eat my tacos. listen to the skippyjon jones cd that came with the library book.
3:15 escort issy to her lesson. come back to car and read mayan some nancy drew (the bungalow mystery)
3:45 isadore comes out and mayan goes in. read to issy. try the two new cds i got from the library--they both suck really bad. then listen to iPod--regina spektor, soviet kitsch.
4:20 mayan is back from her lesson and we head straight home.
4:35 girls and i unload groceries and put them away while i start to make burritos. george is up and grupmy--keep him out of trouble while the girls ride their bikes before it gets too dark.
5:30 finalize and assemble burritos and put half in the oven to warm. whip up a small batch of guacamole.
5:55 pack up four toastly burritos and guac to deliver to danielle. load up kids in car and make sure i turn off all the lights in the house before we go.
6:15 get to D's, leave kids in car whle i run her dinner to her and then stand in her doorway chatting for 10 minutes. have her call blake and tell him i'm on my way (and running late)
6:45 arrive at nomad. pick up b.
6:55 stop at freddies again b/c i forgot to buy beer.
7:15 get home and heat up burritos. have girls clear their library pile off the counter and then set the table. crack a negra modelo to go with my food.
7:35 finish dinner, have kids help clean up. opne a second beer, go to computer and discuss/mull over VW TDI wagons. then i start this blog post.
8:30 realize the kids are getting rowdy and blake is in shower. walk ways from the computer and start getitng them ready. they brush teeth. i wrap up geo and nurse him down in no time. lay him in his crib. head to the girls' room, go up in mayans bunk and read half of "the deliverers of their country" by edith nesbit. give lots of kisses and sweet dream wishes.
9:30 head back downstairs. start blogging again. get the how-long-will-you-be-clicking-look from blake. assure him i'm wrapping things up.
10:03 really wrap it up. try to remember where i left that beer.


all in all, this one wasn't so half-assed. what did you do today?

Oc-slow-ber

October is a month I look forward to all year long, one because its the first full month of fall, the best season on the planet, the one which beckons out sweaters, tights, woolen belted coats, and tall leather boots. Tanktops and tan lines and sunscreens begone! But the main reason why I covet the tenth month is its where we take our yearly family excursion away from the daily grind and make a week-long memory that we draw from throughout the year. Traditionally, this is because October is the slowest month for business: Oct-slooooow-ber. I love the planning involved, the unexpected moments, the let's-have-another-one-we're-on-vacation attitude, the autumn-rich photos, and even the post-adventure scrapbooking or blogging that follows. Goooood times....even when there is the inevitable argument, or we're caught in a downpour, or I get crabby beacuse I can't find a restaurant I can eat at, etc. You all recall the Pee-Tea story of Seattle '08. But it all makes for another riveting chapter of the Perlingieri Family Experience.

This October proved to be as slow as any other, with one painful difference: no vacation. I had a period of denial, maybe a touch of anger however fleeting, a little bargaining on both Blake's and my part, but in the end, acceptance. We strive to be, and to teach our children to be, grateful people. We are doing what we must to make ends meet, and honestly its not hard to see that others have it much worse--and that we have many blessings to count. We had a bit of a vacation weaning process anyhow to lighten the blow--early vacations we flew to New York and Mexico, then we began doing the Canada-thing to save money and avoid flying, and finally, last year we took a shorter trip and fled to the closest city possible. So, we'll be fine. (But, I swear to you, dammit, if things ever improve, I insist on an entire month in Europe to make up for it.)

So here are October's highlights, all within our dear city of Portland.

bet you didn't know we had three kitties

getting ready to start the first fire

that apple festival at portland nursery

apples everywhere!

i only made it through the first 1/4 of the tasting...there was a LOT of apples

mayan learning to blow bubbles with her gum

Blake's birthday dinner: morrocan-style lamb shanks with red lentils, over rice with toasted pine-nuts, almonds, and pistachios, and a pear and blue cheese salad.

the birthday boy sucking marrow with intensity
the play area under autumn's magical touch

the boy plays with his Tonka

papa and his boy enjoy a warm fall day

parsnip haiku:
planted in the spring
these giant autumn parsnips
taste great in pot roast

more funky fruits...er, veggies...of the fall garden

blake's old boss Vaughn came to visit. this is the guy who when blake, two decades ago, wanted to pierce professionally (as opposed to piercing his friends at the park or at parties) went to to ask for a job. Vaughn gave that young man a chance and the rest is history...or as blake and his sister chemynne would say: "20yearsagoB"

vaughn and his girlfriend were on their way to a steam punk convention (google it) and this is vaughn's little "toy" that he showed off to the girls--a heat-powered piston engine, made from glass so you can see how it works.

impromptu science lesson!

my brother and his wife and son visited as well and took isadore, george, and i to the zoo.

too cute....see the giraffe behind them!

i insisted on a family shot even though wesley was totally NOT into getting his picture taken--he wanted to explore every corner of the zoo! there was no cruising by any building or exhibit, he wanted to see it all, without stopping...meshem and rachel were so ready to lay down. why don't they serve beer at the zoo again??

blake makes isadore's kitty-pumpkin dreams come true

this is my favorite pumpkin i've ever carved...spooky!

kitty-women takes it to the streets

mayan needs BLOOD!!

the little monster and his secretary get ready to hit some houses

pumpkins-all-aglow

the end!

just like that

without even thinking about the consequences i am throwing myself into national blog posting month, a day late. in fact, someone just asked me "hey, are you going to do it this year?", and i said no....and then promptly i went straight here to milk and ink and un-privatized the blog and here i am. talk about being easily swayed by the power of suggestion. just don't tell me i HAVE to do. i'm not too attached to the outcome--who knows, my computer could take a fatal turn any day. i may even employ some "cheater" tricks like pre-writing and post-dating. and don't expect capitalization.

but i have been wanting to write. plus i don't like being left out and it seems like "everyone is doing it." and finally, i love november and blogging is a perfect way to document its glory which contains: my two favorite holidays--day of the dead and thanksgiving, my birthday, anniversary (the wedding one)....i am also scheduled to get a new tattoo. so there is is. milk and ink is back. just. like. that.

let's review the cast of characters:

papa nomad

goobie

MG

kitty-dore

and yours truly, mama nomad

(photo taken by Goobie)

a post with some heart

what's wrong with me? i don't know. i can make all kind of excuses for not blogging--like our computer is on the fritz and i've been sucked into the facebook nexus instead...but really i think there is something deeper, and i can't quite put my finger on it. i have lots of things to say, but i seem to have this wall between me and the actual sitting down and writing process, even in my journal (which has always been sporadic and spans many different felt and leather books.) i feel something emotionally toxic building up inside me, as well: negativity, jealousies, unstoppable impatience, laziness. its amazing to me how forgiving my family has been, but i don't like what's going on. i feel like i've regressed a decade in maturity over just a few weeks, and i am not sure who or what to blame--i'd like to blame myself but in the past i've been able to pull myself up by my clog-straps when i've recognized a problem. i'm perplexed because i've been doing much for myself and my relationships: i work a few days a month outside the home making good money, i am exercising regularly, eating well and avoiding soy reactions, having nights-out once or twice a week with good company, blake and i are connected and getting along well, and my house is almost always tidy and clean. i should be tip-top!

but something is amiss. the worst part is my mothering. i'm awful right now--no where near being the kind of parent i want to be, approaches and philosophies be damned. my poor children get the brunt of my frustrations everytime. i find myself apologizing for my riduculous outbursts too often. most concerning is how this affects my relationship with mayan, who even on our best days have to work at a connection. to remove her from the mine field of my potential rants, which do nothing for her self-worth, she has been spending more days at nomad, where she is very happy to play chess and being the nomad assistant (she now sets up for piercings and stocks needles from the back.)

somehow isadore weathers these storms with more grace than any five year old i've ever met. a few days ago, i was coming down pretty hard on mayan over something stupid i'm sure, like housework or homework, and isadore witnessed the whole event from her barstool, while coloring and practicing her handwriting. mayan had stormed off bubbling with anger and i let her go so i could allow myself to calm down. isadore casually climbed down from her stool and into the kitchen and began to do a little housework, and as she did this she mused, "i love you, mom." and when i say "mused" i really mean that--it was not some please-don't-turn-that-anger-toward-me attempt, it was relaxed and matter-of-fact. i was stunned by it and plainly said "isadore, how can you say that after my terrible outburst?"

"i don't care about that. i only care that i love you," she told me.

at this point i had to sit down. i was in awe of her unconditional love, such a stark contrast of my own example i'd just set, and could only say "where did you come from??"

she smiled and leaned on the counter and replied, "i come from my heart."

maybe that's what missing for me right now--a path to my heart. i don't seem to operating from that place, so how could i possiby write without that source? i have much to learn from all of my children, and right now isadore is my top mentor--her forgiveness, her bravery, her big wide-open heart. i'd like to be like that when i grow up.

i can't promise i will start writing again any time soon. although i will say writing this feels pretty darn good. i don't feel depressed per se, which i've experienced before so i am not sure what to pursue to feel better. i can promise i will continue to try and put my finger on it; that never stops for me. i'm alwasy examining and reflecting on my behavior, just lately it feel like the "do-er" and "reflector" are two different people, worlds apart. in the meantime, i just hope and pray that my children are well-equipped with their grouchy-mama-repellant rain gear.

last call, folks!

wow. i had no idea how many people were quietly reading Milk and Ink. its been very exciting watching the email come in--many oregon and pacific nw moms, but a handful in the mid-west and even...get ready for this...one from denmark! how cool is that?? ladies, thank you for reading, please don't stop now that i've made you feel like exposed stalkers; hopefully that has not stripped the thrill from it...:-) no, from what i gather its not so much about "peeping" as much as just inspiration in daily life, and maybe a chuckle or two. and that i am happy to provide.


so since i still have at lease one or two people emailing my everyday i am going to give it a bit longer. "we ask that your please bear with us..."

Privacy

Don't believe for a second that I have abandoned my blog. Or even that it has slipped my mind--as a matter of fact, I think of it often. I have lots of ideas for great posts and OODLES of adorable pictures to show off from the past 6 weeks. But there has been one big looming issue that has stood between you and me and those yet-to-be-written greats and that is: PRIVACY.

This blog has grown and attracted a wider audience than I had imagined. What began as a way to share the growth and antic of our little ones with far-off family and a creative springboard for my thoughts and inspirations, somehow trickled out of the village and into a larger body of water. And that is not necessarily a bad thing; in fact I love the idea of other moms that I have not met, in various locales-not-within-driving-distance reading my blog and smiling over my slices-of-life. Some of my posts are well-suited for sharing with a larger population. But this, as you all know, is the world wide web, and I don't just post about funny stories or my favorite purchases, I post openly about my family and my sweet, dear children. But this all came to light around the time we were building our barn and working harder toward our self-sustaining urban homestead, and for the tenth time, a brand new client walks into Nomad and says to Blake, "I found you online....oh, and I read your wife's blog...your family is SO cute!" I am sure most of these are harmless and fascinating people, but Blake, who is uber-private by nature just cringes at the thought of our lives being out there for all to see and intertwined with his business personna, and rightfully so. A quick google search myself found that to bring up Nomad the business, also brought up lil' ole Mama Nomad and her Milk and Ink.

I really don't have the time and energy to keep two separate blogs, one for close persons, and one for the public, nor do I want to--I like the ecclectic mix of my content and don't want to compromise my candor or the blog's flexibility. So that leaves me with one choice and that is to make it private and limit my readers.

Don't worry if you read my blog and we have never met--again, I am not looking to shut out everyone who is a stranger. I just need to know WHO is reading and be able to officially invite you to my blog. From what I understand this will create and extra step in order to view my blog, some sort of log-in process. Honestly I don't really know how it will work until I "go live" with it. So all you need to do, if you would like to stay with me so far (and I promise once this is settled I'll be back to your regularly-scheduled-blogging-program) please send me an email and I'll add you to my "invite" list which I will activate on about a week (giving everyone out there time to see this "public post.") Please, don't be shy if we have not met or if you read my blog and I have NO IDEA (you, lurker, you!)--just tell me how you found me, where you live, and why you love me so much. Haahaa, just kidding about the last part. Just be sure to email me from the address that you would be using to log-in. Here is where you should contact me (obviously, no spaces and use the "@" and "."symbol instead of the actual word, you get it, right?):


p e r l i n g i e r i

a t

g m a i l

d o t

c o m


Just so you know this message will self-destruct at the end of the week. *Kablooey!*

PS FAMILY NEED NOT DO THIS 'CAUSE YOU WILL BE GETTING AN INVITE ANYWAY!

We're back.

The car is unpacked, the cooler is emptied, the laundry and diapers washed.....and now I am desperately trying to catch up on blogs I am following. Before the trip, I would sit and check for updates a few times a day, thinking "Blog something, people, BLOG I SAY!" Now, I am all, "Geez, people, don't you have lives...?" Of course you do, which, in turn, gives you something to blog about....

Anyhow, as I sort and delete and rotate pictures from the trip here is one teaser shot:





Look at our Portland-hoodiness...we fit right in! Seattle really is a fine city. (Especially now that they have an H & M!!!!!)

oh. my. god.

i forgot to blog yesterday. completely spaced it. in my defense, my sister and law and her husband and their SUPER cute newborn is visiting. so yeah, its Athenas's fault for being so dang cute and scrambling my brain.

i, of course, considered posting and manipulating the date, but i don't play like that. i never break the rules when it's for fun (but frequently if it involves authority.)



off to sit in the corner in shame.

The goal...

...to blog everyday this month. Who's idea was this? These people: NaBloPoMo

BUT I didn't sign up until today, the SIXTH day of the month. This makes me feel...incomplete...kinda dirty.....I should just get over and start writing I suppose.


What will I bore you dear readers with everyday? Depends....on days where there is something *worth* blogging about, the usual..adorable pictures of my adorable family. But if I don't have a plan for the other days, the *average* days then I will fail. So, in that case, I will blog about something I have been wanting to write down everyday anyway......a food diary. Why? 'Cause I'm gestating! I am confident that I eat a pretty healthy, well-rounded diet, but I cannot be trusted without some actual record. And I'd really like to know if I am measuring up--60 to 100 grams of protein a day, plenty of leafy greens...that kind of stuff. Especially since I am throwing out so many lame "rules" that I followed on my previous pregnancies--I am not taking prenatals (I don't feel they are assimilated the same as whole foods anyway), I am eating RAW sushi and RAW dairy (gasp!), and also partaking in a 1/2 glass of beer or wine here and there (actually I have only done this once so far but I plan on doing it again soon!)


So far today I've eaten:

Breakfast--scrambled eggs with turkey, sprouted grain toast, glass of water (usually I have fruit too but I had places to go and spaced it)

Snack--Spicy Thai chips! and of course WATER

Lunch--had a hankering for a tuna melt (tuna had red onion and grated carrots) on sprouted grain bread, a decaf chai latte

Snack--cheddar and apple slices, water

Dinner--split peas soup with carrots, hamburger patty with cheese and salsa.


Shoulda had more: fruit, leafy greens