nomad week (or two) in review

last weekend (the one before memorial day) we visited the beach that is most directly west of us, Ecola Beach in Cannon Beach. look how big and handsome this boy is getting! he pretty much ate sand and threw fits everytime we saved him from face-planting in the tide pools--he's officially a toddler!


they have great tidepools there; plenty of starfish and anenomes...it was little chilly but it didn't stop the girls from wearing their swim suits...
then last wednesday, blake was invited to lecture at the portland bead society. we came along for support--it went great! blake had those ladies rollin' and everyone gushed over the kids.
he spoke about bead use in tribal culture, and brought many examples from africa mostly, although he also talked about pre-columbian examples, native american, and asian. after the talk people were able to look closely at the jewelry and the maasai book, asked him questions, shared their own stories.
the next day i took mayan out the our second Homeschool Day at the evergreen space museum in mcminnville. they host homeschool kids from 9:30 to 2 with a lecture, workshops, and games all focused around one theme--this time it was astronomy. here is the big inflatable planetarium she is about to go into.
so i have recently read this book about the effect of anxious parents on their growing children. at first i poo-poohed it, but as i read further it made a lot of sense. i started to realize that the kids need more experiences without blake and i hovering over them. especially mayan who is old enough now to figure out many things on her own, and needs to know that she can problem-solve, and succeed in new situations without her ever-present attachment figures. its time for us to be that "voice in her head" or image in her mind, after the many years of nurturing. so in that vein, since she'd been to one of these before, i let her do the day on her own, only meeting her for lunch break. when i told her i would be doing this she hugged my legs and said "thank you thank you thank you...i am going to feel like such a BIG KID!" she had a blast, but when i went to pick her up, with my newfound focus on de-hovering, i saw this and had to take a picture: nearly every child had parent at their side, jumping in and assisting with every craft and activity. last time that was ME!
so to continue this, the day after i sent mayan into trader joes by herself to pickup her special rice bread (it was the only thing i needed there.) she was so jazzed about it--i gave her instructions which she focused on intently then set her off on her mission while i stayed outside with the kids. here she comes running back with her bag of bread.
oh, the look (and feel) of success! i have noticed mayan's confidence growing, and myself have been more aware of my shift toward clinging to the idea of "my babies" and my resistance to them getting older, and being able to find joy in my children becoming more independent. it's been a very positve shift for me and blake to make.

here is mayan working at her bead shop on a custom order from myself. she and blake built a special store-front for her business and she is open saturdays, noon to six. she is building quite a customer base....an entrepeneur like her dad!

sweet George, his hair get more and more delicious every day!
blake organized his office this weekend and gave some attention to his special Star Trek room...looking very good! (i HAVE mentioned this room before, haven't I?)

fast-forward to today...today was about beauty and organization. i wandered into my sewing room and began sorting through the many boxes of clothing.....and suddenly my whole day had past. the kids clothes are sorted: baby items, girls stuff size 6 months to 3 years, girls stuff size 4-6, and finally a box for George clothes, and also items to be returned to other people. i discovered soem things i had not seen in a very long time, especially some great vintage pieces--for those that don't know have a pretty huge vintage clothing collection, although most of which i will not ever be able to wear again unless i lose thirty pounds...i am clinging to the clothes, as i cling to the hope!

the roses are blooming and i made this lovely arrangement for our table.
last night i tried to make hamburger buns from scratch but sof course, i struggled with the yeast and they did not rise properly, so they turned out like denser mini-buns. tasty though! for lunch today i used them to make tuna sliders. cute, huh?

Questioning

In many ways, I am attracted to controversy. I liked to rock the boat in high school with my teachers--for instance, when given a ceiling tile to paint in health class I wanted to do one about safe sex and they said "NO!"...so I snuck it outside and painted a big, red picture of a Trojan condom wrapper and installed it back into the ceiling. I like to surprise people in their perception of me--maybe have a certain look, but then say something unexpected when I opened my mouth. In college, this was with a very punk rock look...at bible study. And the obvious, my choice to bring home a man tattooed and pierced from top to bottom to my family...and then marry him and have lots of babies.

The thing is, once you do something that is considered "fringe" or "alternative" and it picks up steam, it becomes mainstream. And once it is mainstream, I feel the need to question it all over again with a more critical eye. My biggest blessing/curse is that I am a natural diplomat--given any circumstance, I can see both sides. (This can be very frustrating to my husband who alwasy wants me to have his back;) The blessing part aspect of this is that, even if I find a way that suits me, I can (usually) easily get to a place where I can respect the choice of someone who does things the opposite way. I can hear and understand a theory behind a certain type of lifestyle or choice and not feel threatened by it. On the flip side, this can many times put me on the fence. I especially feel this way about politics, beacuse the choices made do not just affect the individual but a whole population. Often times, when those ballot measure booklets come in the mail, I read them and think "Well, that makes sense..." and then "Of course, this side makes a good point, too...." Most of the time I can't make up my mind and toss my ballot into the recycle bin.

Sometimes on the fence is a lonely place to be. Its natural for groups and friendships to form around common ideals. This is certainly true of mothering tribes, who in the past decade seem to have become so polarized between "the natural way" (which somehow leaks over into more areas than just things like birth and breastfeeding, but also commonalities like politics and parenting) and the "mainstream"...which is funny, and maybe this is because I live in the bubble that is the Republic of Portland, but it seems that "natural" IS mainstream now. And as said before, once something becomes mainstream, I feel the need to question it, to challenge it. Suddenly, I feel outside of the circle that I'd been so inside of. I do find it a challenge to only focus my new found scrutiny on only my own life with having it spill over into other relationships, but I find it doable because of my diplomatic tendancies. I can say, "this isn't working for me anymore, but respect that it might still be working for you". Making a move like this makes me search deeper for those relationships that are not merely built on "doing things alike" but on mutual respect and trust and openness. Sometimes I find that the easiest people to talk to about parenting are non-parents, or to talk about politics to people who are less-informed--their ideas are not so cemented, so they are receptive.

But I wonder where this "need to be different" stems from for me. Relationships are importnat to me, and sometimes I feel that this boat rocking puts them in jeopardy. I don't think I do this on a purposeful (albeit unconscious) level. Does this make me seem wishy-washy? I mean, to abandon ones ideals seems like something a very unstable person might do. I don't feel unstable...yet I am often teetering on a fence:) Maybe I am just impressionable. I was at the library the other day and I picked up a book, that seems to at first glance be in line with "the way I do things." But on further inspection, I could see the author was challenging them instead. Not one to be close-minded, I took it home and found that many of her arguments not only made sense, but I could see examples in my own life. Suddenly, my world-in-my-head was set aspin (I think I just made that word up--it's like afloat, but more spin-y than float-y)--theories about attachment, education, and society that were banging against previously popular views. Some of these opposing views I could reconcile, somehow finding a way for both to live in harmony in my brain. Others that may at one time been so unwelcome in the circle...looking very, very sensible to me now.

It maybe that I was looking for something new and fresh. Or that I am continuing to search for a place where my true values fit in--or that my values continue to change and mature every year. One thing I have learned about life, whether its parenting or politics or whatever, is that often times something look really great on paper, but turns out very different when put into action. I suppose we all put things into action differently as well, what functions well for one family or one country just doesn't translate the same for another. Right now, besides finding what is right for my family, I am also trying to find how my constant questioning can be a strength for me and not a weakness--and to explore what relationships make me feel safe enough to question without being judged, and who also will not feel judged by my questioning.

Was that vague enough for you? LOL. If you are still following along, do you ever feel this way or have any thoughts??

for mother's day

The mamas who make my world go 'round:







(and a sweet shout-out to the few i don't have pictures of...You ladies ROCK)

filling in the gap

So, let's begin where we left off, shall we? I beleive that was the prepping of the barn site. Well, thanks to the magic of pre-fab, the barn went up easy as 1....

...2...
...3!
Blake didn't waste any time getting inside and building the new coop. Ah, it smelled so wonderful inside when it first went up--no particle board, just wonderful fresh wood! And the loft is such a cool space where I see the kids sneaking away to read books on lazy afternoons....
Soon after the project was finished Chemynne and Michael (and Athena, of course) arrived in Portland with their whole lives crammed into a Budget moving truck. We were there that rainy evening to greet them and feed them burritos. Yes, I finally found them a good place--quiet, centrally located neighborhood, hardwoods on the living-level, with a big loft for the office and a HUGE basement. Even a nice backyard with garden beds. It was a close call but the right place became available just in the nick of time. The kitchen is a bit crammed but, dude, compared to everythign else I'd seen it was a clear winner. And its right between our house and Nomad so we've been able to drop in a lot and help them settle in.
Yay! The brother and sister unit are together in the same city again! (This is taken at the cute park 2 blocks away from their new house)
Then Blake's mom came for a visit from the East Coast. She had oodles of gifts and actitives planned for the kids (of which we only squeezed in half even though she extended her stay) so many a good memory was made, which is a wonderful thing after some years of disconnect.
Her big treat? She wanted to get us a piano, so the girls could take lessons. Piano lessons were a very important part of her childhood and she called this "a gift of the heart" to be able to pass on the tradition. Blake and I can't play but it sure looks beautiful in my living room doesn't it?? Its also very cool to see who comes through our door and can sit down and play something.
How cute is this??
After she headed back home, we had a really nice stretch of good weather. Geo got to feel grass in his toes and work on his walking skills with Papa.
And I spent many days getting the sod up for our new garden patch. I shouldn't say "patch,"
it makes it sound small--its actually 30 by 10 feet. It was hard, dirty work, let me tell you but I finally worked out my system after the first few rows, removing the sod in 1 foot by 3 foot strips. After "cutting" them out with my shovel I'd flip the strip over and remove as much dirt as I could; the kids would come and collect some of the many worms unearthed by the process and feed them to the chickens.

I absolutely cannot wear garden gloves when I work in the yard, I can't feel what I'm doing--and really there is no better tool than your own hand (Korin, I can HEAR you making a dirty joke out of this--lol!)...garden spades and hand rakes, be damned.
We were then ready for some ducklings. We hope to have some for meat and maybe a few for eggs. Unfortunately, three out of the six we bought died (don't ask me why, I am clueless) but the three that survived are already huge. I can't tell if they are boys or girls so I am not sure now what their purpose will be yet. We hope to at least put one in our freezer at some point...
Easter, or something like it, came around. We had coincidently invited over some friends and C and M that Sunday for homemade pizza (Oliver, your dough was so awesome!!), so we decided to make it festive and dye some eggs, going with the old skool Paas kit method. I let the kids decorate most of them and Blake insisted I save one for him. His atheist/Looney Tunes humor: "JC killed the Wabbit."
It was Athena's first egg hunt and C and I got really into--the kids has so much fun albeit it was indoors since it was rainy outside.
Step two for the garden bed. Michael had a really brilliant suggestion on how to amend the garden without tilling so following his instructions we had some mushroom compost and topsoil delivered from Mt. Scott Fuel Company.
(Notice the new ultra-private modern side fencing courtesy of B)
C and I talk/exchange seeds while the men do the really dirty work outside hauling the dirt to the new beds. Chemynne has a rockin' seed collection imported from Bend...
So after a layer of straw, goes the mixture of soil and compost. I will have three long beds that will rotate every year--legumes, brassicas, and potato/root veggies...lots of lettece and onions thrown in wherever.
The men tend the gorgeous mounds of earth. After this we watered it like crazy, and the next day I got the first crops planted. Sooooo exciting!
Hmmm....what else?

Oh, Blake did three consecutive lectures at the Portland Art Museum, basically educating the docents about the new exhibit, so when they give tours they know what to say about the adornment pieces. Mayan accompanied him and was such a young lady, taking notes and chatting with the docents. They are such a good team:)
The difficult part was that because of the size of the room the docents had to come in groups, so he had to give the same lecture three times in a row. He said he was on fire for the first and by the last he was dragging. But most of the docents were very excited and receptive, and the whole experience is another "feather in the cap" as they say. I am so proud of him;)


Okay, readers, you are offically caught up. Any questions??

Happy Goobie Day

Can someone explain to me how this happens? In the blink of an eye, your sweet, pulsing bundle of love-embodied-in-life goes from this:


...to this?Its almost to much for a mother to bear. Of course, you want to see your children grow and develop and succeed, but can't at least the last child stay a baby forever?


To distract ourselves from the shock and creeping melancholy of the fact that Georgie is ONE today, we took the kids to the zoo to frolick. In some ways Geo is still a baby, like when I see him here, happily hanging in the backpack, taking in the world with his eyes only.

But then when he is set on the ground and his explorer is set free, I am reminded that he is now a little boy. Look out, Goobie takes on the world!!

...or at least a carrot stick;)



Ah, my family. Dark silhouettes again the blue glow of life. Nothing stops. A mother can only desperately try and keep up...be open, be available, be observant...and take lots of pictures.

last call, folks!

wow. i had no idea how many people were quietly reading Milk and Ink. its been very exciting watching the email come in--many oregon and pacific nw moms, but a handful in the mid-west and even...get ready for this...one from denmark! how cool is that?? ladies, thank you for reading, please don't stop now that i've made you feel like exposed stalkers; hopefully that has not stripped the thrill from it...:-) no, from what i gather its not so much about "peeping" as much as just inspiration in daily life, and maybe a chuckle or two. and that i am happy to provide.


so since i still have at lease one or two people emailing my everyday i am going to give it a bit longer. "we ask that your please bear with us..."

Privacy

Don't believe for a second that I have abandoned my blog. Or even that it has slipped my mind--as a matter of fact, I think of it often. I have lots of ideas for great posts and OODLES of adorable pictures to show off from the past 6 weeks. But there has been one big looming issue that has stood between you and me and those yet-to-be-written greats and that is: PRIVACY.

This blog has grown and attracted a wider audience than I had imagined. What began as a way to share the growth and antic of our little ones with far-off family and a creative springboard for my thoughts and inspirations, somehow trickled out of the village and into a larger body of water. And that is not necessarily a bad thing; in fact I love the idea of other moms that I have not met, in various locales-not-within-driving-distance reading my blog and smiling over my slices-of-life. Some of my posts are well-suited for sharing with a larger population. But this, as you all know, is the world wide web, and I don't just post about funny stories or my favorite purchases, I post openly about my family and my sweet, dear children. But this all came to light around the time we were building our barn and working harder toward our self-sustaining urban homestead, and for the tenth time, a brand new client walks into Nomad and says to Blake, "I found you online....oh, and I read your wife's blog...your family is SO cute!" I am sure most of these are harmless and fascinating people, but Blake, who is uber-private by nature just cringes at the thought of our lives being out there for all to see and intertwined with his business personna, and rightfully so. A quick google search myself found that to bring up Nomad the business, also brought up lil' ole Mama Nomad and her Milk and Ink.

I really don't have the time and energy to keep two separate blogs, one for close persons, and one for the public, nor do I want to--I like the ecclectic mix of my content and don't want to compromise my candor or the blog's flexibility. So that leaves me with one choice and that is to make it private and limit my readers.

Don't worry if you read my blog and we have never met--again, I am not looking to shut out everyone who is a stranger. I just need to know WHO is reading and be able to officially invite you to my blog. From what I understand this will create and extra step in order to view my blog, some sort of log-in process. Honestly I don't really know how it will work until I "go live" with it. So all you need to do, if you would like to stay with me so far (and I promise once this is settled I'll be back to your regularly-scheduled-blogging-program) please send me an email and I'll add you to my "invite" list which I will activate on about a week (giving everyone out there time to see this "public post.") Please, don't be shy if we have not met or if you read my blog and I have NO IDEA (you, lurker, you!)--just tell me how you found me, where you live, and why you love me so much. Haahaa, just kidding about the last part. Just be sure to email me from the address that you would be using to log-in. Here is where you should contact me (obviously, no spaces and use the "@" and "."symbol instead of the actual word, you get it, right?):


p e r l i n g i e r i

a t

g m a i l

d o t

c o m


Just so you know this message will self-destruct at the end of the week. *Kablooey!*

PS FAMILY NEED NOT DO THIS 'CAUSE YOU WILL BE GETTING AN INVITE ANYWAY!